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Old 04-16-2010, 09:22 PM   #1
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Angry Back to court?!?!

So, I get home and I have papers from the MA DOR and court. He went to court on 3.02.10 and is filing a motion for "Restrain DOR from Administrative enforcement".

He filed it without an attorney. TRUST me, he can go before a judge and talk loudly and confidently, etc. I can't!! I can't afford anymore lawyer fees!!!
UGH. WHY!??!?! THe action reads:

Please allow restraint of Department of Revenue from Administrative Enforcement against the defendant. The defendant will make appropriate payments per the agreement of the parties, dated February 2, 2010, and entered as a final judgement by this court.



AAAAAAARG. So, it says 4/27/10 at 8:30am

WHAT DO I DO?!?! I mean, I thought I wouldn't have to see him for YEARS.....why 2 months from the last time are we going back???? SO confused. The papers we have are final papers.

My bubble is popped. SO much for my happy little high of today.
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Old 04-16-2010, 09:26 PM   #2
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Default Re: Back to court?!?!

He is just trying to stall. Go ahead and talk with your lawyer. see what she thinks. We are here for you.

I am so sorry he's such a JackButt, Shall we introduce him to my ex when she dumps her latest victim?
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Old 04-16-2010, 09:32 PM   #3
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Default Re: Back to court?!?!

I can't wait to hear what Lisa has to say about this. My thought is he has reason to believe he is about to have his tax return seized and is trying to prevent it...so I would think you will be getting either that or what you were supposed to get in the first place very soon.
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Old 04-16-2010, 09:36 PM   #4
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Default Re: Back to court?!?!

Stall what, though. I'm getting payments. They come right out of his paycheck and the arrearage amount is set and that comes out of his paycheck everytime, too. A little bit, but still. I'm thinking this is to stall them seizing property or taxes?? Am I wrong on that? Is he looking for more time to produce the life insurance and the retirement account?? Do you think he is trying to get the freakin' amount lowered AGAIN? UGH. I can't deal.

---------- Post added at 08:34 PM ---------- Previous post was at 08:32 PM ----------

Blue, if that is true....it will cost MORE in lawyer fees for him than it will in taxes. It will cost me more in fees than I will get from him. ARG. WHAT IS GOING ON. I feel ill. I can't....I can't go through this again. I thought I was done. No....

---------- Post added at 08:35 PM ---------- Previous post was at 08:34 PM ----------

Well...actually, I bet he's not going to use a lawyer and it won't cost him anything. I wonder if I am supposed to counter this or leave it be or what. And if I call my lawyer, it will cost me money. LOTS of money. I still owe her tons. She may not even want to work with me anymore unless I pay up in full.

---------- Post added at 08:36 PM ---------- Previous post was at 08:35 PM ----------

And it includes another sheet to fill out on weekly costs, etc.....that screams to me changing the freakin' amount, but it also says he agrees to things as they were finalized.
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Old 04-16-2010, 09:38 PM   #5
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Default Re: Back to court?!?!

CU4A, hang in there, He wants to pressure you into backing down. Remember your Eval said you work well under pressure. Remember the "taking it personal" thread:
"Personal importance, or taking things personally, is the maximum expression of selfishness because we make the assumption that everything is about "me.""
Try to put this in a business mind set. Be professional. I know easier said than done. Vent here, never let him see you sweat. Look at it a practice in dealing with him. My ex used to get me very riled up over her e-mauls, not I do vent, but I can deal with them in a professional manner, and she gets even more upset that I am being controlling. No I can not control her, but I can control me and do try to control the situation.

CU4, we are here for you. Prayers out for Peace of Mind and Soul.
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Old 04-16-2010, 09:40 PM   #6
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Default Re: Back to court?!?!

Quote:
Originally Posted by comingup4air View Post
So, I get home and I have papers from the MA DOR and court. He went to court on 3.02.10 and is filing a motion for "Restrain DOR from Administrative enforcement".
.
Oh no! What does that even mean? Is he requesting that his wages no longer be garnished, and he pay you directly? If so, I doubt a court will agree to that - they set it up to garnish his wages for a reason.

Get mad, missy! Make a list of all the reasons that you do not agree with that (if my assumption is even correct), memorize them, practice asserting them in the mirror & go in there & get him!
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Old 04-16-2010, 09:41 PM   #7
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Default Re: Back to court?!?!

CU, is there any free legal aid out there for you? Seems there must be someone who can help you.
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Old 04-16-2010, 09:43 PM   #8
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Default Re: Back to court?!?!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dad1st4boys View Post
My ex used to get me very riled up over her e-mauls.
Dad, this may be your best typo yet...e-MAULS. I think you just coined a new phrase for emails intending to hurt or attack another
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Old 04-16-2010, 09:47 PM   #9
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Default Re: Back to court?!?!

Cu4A, You are borrowing a nervouse breakdown. I think it just means that CS enforcement is doing what they are supposed to do. He's jerking around and they have had enough. He is going to have to make good on what he owes you or they are gonna do it for him.
I don't think it's about lowering the amount or anything...I think he is trying to stop them from taking the matter out of his hands. His fat lady just sang.....
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Old 04-16-2010, 09:48 PM   #10
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Default Re: Back to court?!?!

I did see the miss-spell, but after I posted it. so many were posting i could not get on fast enough to fix it. It is very descriptive of the ex's attempts at communication.

I'll that the "coins" though
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Old 04-16-2010, 09:49 PM   #11
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Default Re: Back to court?!?!

Quote:
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e-mauls
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Old 04-16-2010, 09:50 PM   #12
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Default Re: Back to court?!?!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bluemoon View Post
Cu4A, You are borrowing a nervouse breakdown. I think it just means that CS enforcement is doing what they are supposed to do. He's jerking around and they have had enough. He is going to have to make good on what he owes you or they are gonna do it for him.
I don't think it's about lowering the amount or anything...I think he is trying to stop them from taking the matter out of his hands. His fat lady just sang.....
Why do I have to be there?? I would think it would be DOR against him and not ME. But, it plainly states me.
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Old 04-16-2010, 09:51 PM   #13
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Default Re: Back to court?!?!

Blue just made me wonder if this will be aimed more at the state collection agency than you.....
I wonder if you can contact them Monday and find out. Here in KS each Judicial District has it's own CS collection agent. That's why I don't get the full $30.00, there is a fee attached.

It may not be that bad after all. We're still here for you.
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Old 04-16-2010, 09:52 PM   #14
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Default Re: Back to court?!?!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bluemoon View Post
Cu4A, You are borrowing a nervouse breakdown. I think it just means that CS enforcement is doing what they are supposed to do. He's jerking around and they have had enough. He is going to have to make good on what he owes you or they are gonna do it for him.
I don't think it's about lowering the amount or anything...I think he is trying to stop them from taking the matter out of his hands. His fat lady just sang.....

I am borrowing a breakdown. I'm not okay right now. OMG. And you know what? I know I'm supposed to get mad and be like....GOOD and all that, but that's only if I didn't have to be there. UGH. Get me off this train.
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Old 04-16-2010, 09:53 PM   #15
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Default Re: Back to court?!?!

Love it DAD! E-mauls! LOL Cu4a I think Blue and alejandra are right......I think he is trying to get the garnishment taken off and to pay you directly.
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Old 04-16-2010, 09:55 PM   #16
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Default Re: Back to court?!?!

Quote:
Originally Posted by comingup4air View Post
I am borrowing a breakdown. I'm not okay right now. OMG. And you know what? I know I'm supposed to get mad and be like....GOOD and all that, but that's only if I didn't have to be there. UGH. Get me off this train.
Awww, Sweetie, I don't think you are gonna have to do a thing except to say NO! No, you will not renegotiate the deal. I don't think you will have to face him again in court or anywhere. Breathe, Honey, breathe...

I don't think the garnishment for the CS has anything to do with it. I think this is about the arearages...however it's spelled.
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Old 04-16-2010, 09:55 PM   #17
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Default Re: Back to court?!?!

I forgot to get on here and tell ya all....I called DOR and the DOR line about sending his payments to the credit bureau is just what we thought. Every month there is an outstanding arrearage amount DOR sends it to the credit report and his credit rating goes down. I also asked about seizing taxes and she had me on hold to see if he was accredited (? not sure what that means) and she said yes, he was as of last month so if he hasn't paid them, then they will be sent to me and if he has then they missed the chance and will seize them next year.
I found that all by just one phone call to DOR. The lady was SO nice.
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Old 04-16-2010, 09:56 PM   #18
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Default Re: Back to court?!?!

BREATHE!!!!!! No sense panicking untill monday when you can call someone. You may not have to go anywhere. Put the letter away, go back to being stoked about your awesome review, have a great weekend and call on Monday!
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Old 04-16-2010, 09:58 PM   #19
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Default Re: Back to court?!?!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bluemoon View Post
Awww, Sweetie, I don't think you are gonna have to do a thing except to say NO! No, you will not renegotiate the deal. I don't think you will have to face him again in court or anywhere. Breathe, Honey, breathe...

I do have to face him as it says I am required by the court to be there on the 27th...

---------- Post added at 08:58 PM ---------- Previous post was at 08:57 PM ----------

I thought I was done seeing him and now it's less than 2 weeks from now. Just like that. I can't.
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Old 04-16-2010, 09:59 PM   #20
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Default Re: Back to court?!?!

You can do phone conferences sometimes.
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Old 04-16-2010, 10:05 PM   #21
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Default Re: Back to court?!?!

Worst case scenario...you go, you say NO, you leave. I'm kinda doubting it will even come to that though..... hang on, Lisa will know best. Worrying about it now will do nothing to help you...
Don't give him that. Don't let him do this...this worrying...to you.
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Old 04-16-2010, 10:08 PM   #22
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Default Re: Back to court?!?!

and they both verbally attack me...without a lawyer I will have to communicate with them directly...that would be a nightmare. I'm not kidding.
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Old 04-16-2010, 10:09 PM   #23
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Default Re: Back to court?!?!

Call the DOR back and ask if they will be sending representation for you.

The way I read what you have there, he is trying to get DOR not to automatically withdraw it from his check each week....which means BAD for you.

This is an easy win for you. He has still not done the retirement thing. You have documentation that he and his wife have made threats. Based on that alone, you could state you feel unsafe with him sending anything directly to you. That they have said hateful things and made threats. Period. Also, his payment record is not great....he is in arrearages...if he were current, that would be another thing.
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Old 04-16-2010, 10:10 PM   #24
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Default Re: Back to court?!?!

lsl can confirm that a lot of court filings never need "people" the Judge reads them and rubber stamps: "NO!", "DENIED", "DENUDED", "IDIOT", "JackButt"!!!
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Old 04-16-2010, 10:11 PM   #25
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Default Re: Back to court?!?!

How were you served with the papers? Did someone knock on your door and hand them to you?
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Old 04-16-2010, 10:17 PM   #26
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Default Re: Back to court?!?!

No, these papers are already stamped and signed by the judge. They were mailed to me. He went over a month ago and filled them out himself. I recognize these 'motion' papers....I filled out one like this in the very beginning and then my lawyer fixed them when I hired her. He filled them out, probably had the freebee lawyer there tell him how to word it and then he went before the court on his own and requested a hearing and got one.
These do not have the lawyer B.B.O# underneath it all that says he has one. I don't understand why he would go to all this trouble not to have it out of his check. This makes no sense why he is so determined with this. WTH!!!
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Old 04-16-2010, 10:28 PM   #27
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Default Re: Back to court?!?!

It sounds like THIS may be what he is up to. Good resourceful site for you!
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Old 04-16-2010, 10:34 PM   #28
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Default Re: Back to court?!?!

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Originally Posted by Alejandra View Post
It sounds like THIS may be what he is up to. Good resourceful site for you!
Great find, Alejandra!
CU4A, if I had to guess I would say his reasons were twofold. One, as Dad said, he is trying to buy time. Two, it's all about control. He has no power (over you) if he has no control, which is exactly why he shouldn't have any. He has demonstrated his misuse of this, so don't freak out. He is his own worst enemy at this point. You have done well in forcing him to show his true colors to the court.
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Old 04-16-2010, 10:35 PM   #29
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Default Re: Back to court?!?!

CU4A, I am sure it will work out. he is wanting to get you upset. Use that ability your boss was so impressed with. I know it's hard to, and I am getting better, but have a long ways to go. But you have to put it in a non-personal mode.

I teach a stress relief technique for Officers and even my DARE kids. It is a breathing method:
Take a deep breath slowly in the nose, then release it slowly out the mouth, repeat several times. Some people use the in the mouth and out the nose method, but I have found I end up blowing snot all over the place
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Old 04-16-2010, 10:47 PM   #30
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Default Re: Back to court?!?!

WHY do these things always happen on Fridays so you have all weekend to worry and wonder????



I am so sorry.
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Old 04-16-2010, 10:48 PM   #31
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Default Re: Back to court?!?!

I don't think that is it Alejandra.....

Look, you know that DOR is reporting his credit stuff......bad news for his credit rating right now. While it was filed a month ago, still, he may have been doing some research himself.

Also, he may know that his tax return could get swiped. Just read that the DOR has to notify the NCP owing parent when they plan on taking his tax return.....I bet he got a notification because of the arrearages. And now he is trying to stop the state from taking it.....bet he claims a grievence or something, but it's not going to help him any. Especially if he has not paid you the retirement stuff.

DOR does all of this. He wants the garnishment withdrawn/ and the tax refund not taken.....

You need to show or he will get what he asked for by default.
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Old 04-16-2010, 11:27 PM   #32
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Default Re: Back to court?!?!

I will show, but can't imagine I'll have my lawyer with me. Maybe the DOR will have one? And I'll just stand next to them? It's weird, though. Before, there was the DOR desk off the the side of the judge and we were at our tables in front. I just can't imagine standing at that table by myself....
He may have done some research on his own or already knew this from his job. He is an officer of the court ya know. Just my luck.
It does state that he says he plans on making the appropriate payments as stated in the final court order....so...why doesn't he DO THAT??? UGH.
I do wonder why I got this on a Friday...when I got home late when everything was closed. I could even call the DOR on this and just ask a few questions, I'm assuming I can. I don't know.

---------- Post added at 10:27 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:24 PM ----------

Wait, I wrote that wrong. He is paying the weekly amount like he is supposed to. So, this really must be about the arrearage amount and the 2 things he is currently in contempt/default about. I wonder if DOR took it upon themselves to write him about the retirement account and the life insurance....
I don't know. I just don't know. I guess I will have to spend money I don't have and at least call my lawyer on it.
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Old 04-16-2010, 11:28 PM   #33
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Default Re: Back to court?!?!

Did it come in snail mail? or Served? It may just be bad timing not planned as for getting to you at that time.
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Old 04-16-2010, 11:32 PM   #34
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Default Re: Back to court?!?!

And you know, for all the complaining I did on the DOR, they sure moved fast on him having an arrearage. It honestly wasn't even SET until Feb. 2nd and took a few weeks to show up on the MASS site in my account. Now it's mid-April and they sent him something about seizing taxes and all? That's pretty fast.

---------- Post added at 10:30 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:29 PM ----------

Actually, I just looked at the envelope. NO stamp and was in my mailbox with the other mail.

---------- Post added at 10:32 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:30 PM ----------

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dad1st4boys View Post
Did it come in snail mail? or Served? It may just be bad timing not planned as for getting to you at that time.
I know.....I wasn't serious about the timing being planned....more of a 'wouldn't you just know it' kinda way. I am tellin' you....for a few hours today I felt like the old me. The 'me' before all of this happened. I was SO excited.

Anyway, thanks guys...for being here. What a mess. I'll go, though....I'm not a quitter. I just wish I had more of a break from 'the fight'.
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Old 04-16-2010, 11:33 PM   #35
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Default Re: Back to court?!?!

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And you know, for all the complaining I did on the DOR, they sure moved fast on him having an arrearage. It honestly wasn't even SET until Feb. 2nd and took a few weeks to show up on the MASS site in my account. Now it's mid-April and they sent him something about seizing taxes and all? That's pretty fast.

---------- Post added at 10:30 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:29 PM ----------

Actually, I just looked at the envelope. NO stamp and was in my mailbox with the other mail.

---------- Post added at 10:32 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:30 PM ----------



I know.....I wasn't serious about the timing being planned....more of a 'wouldn't you just know it' kinda way. I am tellin' you....for a few hours today I felt like the old me. The 'me' before all of this happened. I was SO excited.

Anyway, thanks guys...for being here. What a mess. I'll go, though....I'm not a quitter. I just wish I had more a break from 'the fight'.
That's not even legal service. Call the DOR............they should be defending this one for you under child support enforcement. You should not have to do this, or pay for counsel.
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Old 04-16-2010, 11:37 PM   #36
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Default Re: Back to court?!?!

I will call them, but can't until Monday....and I bet they will be closed since it's Patriot's Day and the Boston Marathon. The world here in Bean Town seems to STOP for that day. I'll try, though.
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Old 04-17-2010, 12:16 AM   #37
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Default Re: Back to court?!?!

I am sorry for all this........but listen to the calming voices of reason here. I wish we could all go there with you just to show support.
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Old 04-17-2010, 01:03 AM   #38
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Default Re: Back to court?!?!

My computer seems to have a problem, it is only getting old treads now>>>. Test t
o see if this will pick up..

---------- Post added at 11:03 PM ---------- Previous post was at 11:00 PM ----------

This worked

CU4A go enjoy the weekend an don't worry, nothing you can do til Monday. We're here if you need to vent.
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Old 04-19-2010, 02:24 PM   #39
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Default Re: Back to court?!?!

SO, I'm thinking since it's a holiday here is why my lawyer hasn't called me back. Even if I don't use her, I'll pay for her take on it all and her advice.
And ya know? When I read the fine print, it says a member of their office (the DOR) will meet me the day of the hearing outside the courtroom. hmmmm
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Old 04-19-2010, 02:27 PM   #40
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Default Re: Back to court?!?!

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SO, I'm thinking since it's a holiday here is why my lawyer hasn't called me back. Even if I don't use her, I'll pay for her take on it all and her advice.
And ya know? When I read the fine print, it says a member of their office (the DOR) will meet me the day of the hearing outside the courtroom. hmmmm
That must be what LSL was talking about. They should be comming to represent you. That's GOOD news!
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Old 04-19-2010, 04:06 PM   #41
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Default Re: Back to court?!?!

I don't know how i missed all this....hope you can get this all figured out.....I'll be waiting for your update...Hugs!
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Old 04-19-2010, 04:09 PM   #42
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Default Re: Back to court?!?!

Actually, they should be coming to represent E. This is about child support. Correct?
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Old 04-19-2010, 04:28 PM   #43
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Default Re: Back to court?!?!

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Actually, they should be coming to represent E. This is about child support. Correct?
Yeah, but E is not a party. The way child support is set up, is it is not E that is a party to it, until she is 18.
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Old 04-19-2010, 05:51 PM   #44
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Default Re: Back to court?!?!

She may not be a party, But I'll bet she'd like a party. . Cake Ice cream and all the fixings.
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Old 04-19-2010, 05:54 PM   #45
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Default Re: Back to court?!?!

Yea...it says me vs. him in the motion. The more I read up on this, it will be more like I'm standing there with DOR and he will be representing himself, but who knows. I think it will freak me a little if he shows up with his attorney and there's me with DOR. Still haven't heard from mine, but as soon as I do, I will let you know what she says. There is even something written in there that I can counter the motion by going to the court house and filing paperwork. I'm not doing that yet. It will be interesting to see how this all plays out. I really think Blue is right, too.....I'm gonna see this man try to explain himself and YET AGAIN isn't following the orders of the court. Maybe he'll bring hardship proof, but I will also bring my copies of their tax returns from last year where they bring home like...4 or 5 times what I do.
Anyway.....LSL is right, too. E is only 5, so I'm party to her support...she is rarely mentioned by name on the papers...mostly "child to the party" and stuff like that.

---------- Post added at 04:52 PM ---------- Previous post was at 04:51 PM ----------

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She may not be a party, But I'll bet she'd like a party. . Cake Ice cream and all the fixings.

AHAHAHA....cute, Dad...

---------- Post added at 04:54 PM ---------- Previous post was at 04:52 PM ----------

Plus...I do remember my lawyer saying that once it is established via the DOR, I might not need her services on the financial aspects of our situation anymore. However, if there were ever custody issue, then I would need a lawyer as DOR does not deal with that.
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