Wild Dancing Thanksgivng Turkey Love, Lies & Pregnancy (My Story) - Single Parents Forum: Single Family Voices
All forums, topics and discussions are geared to single parents and the issues faced with single parenting.
Support a single parent today and one will support you back!
         


Go Back   Single Parents Forum: Single Family Voices >
(``'·.¸(``'·.¸ Single Parent Mothers ¸.·'´´)¸.·'´´)
> Pregnant and Alone


~ Donate Today ~ PLEASE
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 03-03-2006, 01:43 AM   #1
C.C.
I am New
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 3
Rep Power: 0
C.C. is an unknown quantity at this point
Default

I've known Jeremy for about 2 1/2 years. We had been kind of lovers and then friends relationship throughout all this time. He had a girlfriend, but then they had broke up (or so I thought). We began talking, you know doing things that ppl do when they're interested in someone. I'd hang out at his house or we'd go out. You know the usual. Everything was fine until about 6 months ago. One day my car started having problems so he told me that he would take it to get it fixed while I went to work so I wouldn't have to worry about it, so of course I agreed. While I was at work he took it somewhere but they couldn't fix it for whatever reason so he took my car back to his house. That same day he had gotten a new car so when I got off work he and his friend came and picked me up from work and dropped me off at home. He said that he would come back to get me and we would go out, but the thing was he never did. The next morning he came to my house and took me to work; he was still going on about how he was going to take my car and get it fixed. He said that he would after he dropped me off. I had given him $ to get my car fixed. When I got off work that night he didn't come and get me nor did he call me to tell me what was going on with my car. The next day came and I was worried so I called his house. No one answered so I left a message basically asking what had happened with my car. For him to just come get me so I could go to his house so I could get my car and 4 him 2 give me my $ back so I could take it myself. A little while later his mom calls me and tells me that she doesn't know where he is and that she hasn't seen my car. I told her what happened. She gave my his friends # so I could call him 2 c if he knew anything. I called his friend and he acted like he didn't know anything. Everytime he'd call me back he'd tell me something different. He finally told me that he heard that he had gotten arrested so I called the police station to see if he had been arrested and they told me no. Then I had them check to see if my car had been impounded...and it had been. I went to his house and his car was there. I knocked but he didn't answer. I went across the street to his friends house but he wasn't there so I went to his nextdoor neighbors house to see if she'd let me use her phone and she did. I tried calling him from her phone thinking that he would answer because it wasn't 4rm my # and he did. He told me that he wasn't at home. *how stupid* How would he be answering the house phone if he wasn't at home. He said he was at the Ralphs that's near his house and 4 me to come down there if I wanted to c him. I knew he wasn't there so I was like whatever. When I was leaving him & that b!@#$ come walking out of his house, I jump out the car like "what the f#$%". We were arguing in the middle of the street. I was asking him why didn't he tell me that my car was impounded, where was my $. He said that he put the $ in the glove compartment which I knew that was a lie and that he had tried to call me and tell me. My thing was why do u need to call me to tell me when the day after it happened he came and took me to work like nothing had happened. After the argument I went home and cried so hard. I had helped him so much and then he did this to me. It turned out that he had let his friend drive my car while they were out the night they dropped me off at home and he got pulled over in my car. He didn't have a license so he used somebody elses name that happened to have a suspended license and my car got impounded. About a week later I find out that I'm pregnant. I thought I was going to die. I come to find out that the other girl was pregnant too. In fact she was 5 months. Her baby may not be his because they had broken up 5 months b4 this happened because she was cheating on him. So he's back with her, I'm pregnant and by myself and I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing. I took him to court 4 $ that he owed me (impound charges, $ I had given him to get my car fixed and for $200 that I had loaned him). I won, but I still haven't gotten my $. I'm 6 months pregnant now and he's called me once to see how I'm doing. He's full of it. I talked to him a week ago and he said that he was going to go to my next doctors appointment which is tomorrow, but I can't get a hold of him. I'm just so frustrated. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I'm afraid of raising this little boy by myself. What do I tell him when he wants to know where his daddy is and why he doesn't love him? How do I teach him how to be a man? I'm just so lost. I'm trying to move and things aren't working out as planned. I cry almost everyday. I have support 4rm no one. I'm all alone in this. I go to doctor appointments by myself and I'll probably be in the delivery room by myself. I try not to think about him and focus on my baby, but it's hard when a part of him is growing inside of me. I know I need to just say f#$% him, but....I don't know.....


Peace & Blessings

C.
C.C. is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-03-2006, 01:43 AM   #2
C.C.
I am New
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 3
Rep Power: 0
C.C. is an unknown quantity at this point
Default

I've known Jeremy for about 2 1/2 years. We had been kind of lovers and then friends relationship throughout all this time. He had a girlfriend, but then they had broke up (or so I thought). We began talking, you know doing things that ppl do when they're interested in someone. I'd hang out at his house or we'd go out. You know the usual. Everything was fine until about 6 months ago. One day my car started having problems so he told me that he would take it to get it fixed while I went to work so I wouldn't have to worry about it, so of course I agreed. While I was at work he took it somewhere but they couldn't fix it for whatever reason so he took my car back to his house. That same day he had gotten a new car so when I got off work he and his friend came and picked me up from work and dropped me off at home. He said that he would come back to get me and we would go out, but the thing was he never did. The next morning he came to my house and took me to work; he was still going on about how he was going to take my car and get it fixed. He said that he would after he dropped me off. I had given him $ to get my car fixed. When I got off work that night he didn't come and get me nor did he call me to tell me what was going on with my car. The next day came and I was worried so I called his house. No one answered so I left a message basically asking what had happened with my car. For him to just come get me so I could go to his house so I could get my car and 4 him 2 give me my $ back so I could take it myself. A little while later his mom calls me and tells me that she doesn't know where he is and that she hasn't seen my car. I told her what happened. She gave my his friends # so I could call him 2 c if he knew anything. I called his friend and he acted like he didn't know anything. Everytime he'd call me back he'd tell me something different. He finally told me that he heard that he had gotten arrested so I called the police station to see if he had been arrested and they told me no. Then I had them check to see if my car had been impounded...and it had been. I went to his house and his car was there. I knocked but he didn't answer. I went across the street to his friends house but he wasn't there so I went to his nextdoor neighbors house to see if she'd let me use her phone and she did. I tried calling him from her phone thinking that he would answer because it wasn't 4rm my # and he did. He told me that he wasn't at home. *how stupid* How would he be answering the house phone if he wasn't at home. He said he was at the Ralphs that's near his house and 4 me to come down there if I wanted to c him. I knew he wasn't there so I was like whatever. When I was leaving him & that b!@#$ come walking out of his house, I jump out the car like "what the f#$%". We were arguing in the middle of the street. I was asking him why didn't he tell me that my car was impounded, where was my $. He said that he put the $ in the glove compartment which I knew that was a lie and that he had tried to call me and tell me. My thing was why do u need to call me to tell me when the day after it happened he came and took me to work like nothing had happened. After the argument I went home and cried so hard. I had helped him so much and then he did this to me. It turned out that he had let his friend drive my car while they were out the night they dropped me off at home and he got pulled over in my car. He didn't have a license so he used somebody elses name that happened to have a suspended license and my car got impounded. About a week later I find out that I'm pregnant. I thought I was going to die. I come to find out that the other girl was pregnant too. In fact she was 5 months. Her baby may not be his because they had broken up 5 months b4 this happened because she was cheating on him. So he's back with her, I'm pregnant and by myself and I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing. I took him to court 4 $ that he owed me (impound charges, $ I had given him to get my car fixed and for $200 that I had loaned him). I won, but I still haven't gotten my $. I'm 6 months pregnant now and he's called me once to see how I'm doing. He's full of it. I talked to him a week ago and he said that he was going to go to my next doctors appointment which is tomorrow, but I can't get a hold of him. I'm just so frustrated. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I'm afraid of raising this little boy by myself. What do I tell him when he wants to know where his daddy is and why he doesn't love him? How do I teach him how to be a man? I'm just so lost. I'm trying to move and things aren't working out as planned. I cry almost everyday. I have support 4rm no one. I'm all alone in this. I go to doctor appointments by myself and I'll probably be in the delivery room by myself. I try not to think about him and focus on my baby, but it's hard when a part of him is growing inside of me. I know I need to just say f#$% him, but....I don't know.....


Peace & Blessings

C.
C.C. is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-03-2006, 02:01 AM   #3
twinsmom99
Board Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Harrah, Oklahoma
Posts: 34
Rep Power: 0
twinsmom99 is an unknown quantity at this point
Default

First--
:huggies:

I can't even begin to understand what you are going thru, my situation was much diferent from yours, but know that you have found a fantastic site, some one here will surely be able to give you great advice!

Again, welcome!!!
twinsmom99 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-06-2006, 10:52 PM   #4
SPIRIT28
Active Board Parent
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Vermont
Posts: 201
Rep Power: 0
SPIRIT28 is an unknown quantity at this point
Default

Welcome to the site. I've been there and done that similar situation w/both of my kids fathers. I can toatlly relate to the hurt feelings while your pregnate. It's hard to think that the father could just turn his back and walk away. Feel free to PM me if you need someone to chat with. Good luck on your new baby!

SPIRIT
__________________



That its ur thinking again...ur not allowed to use ur brain!!

Ever stop to think and forget to start
SPIRIT28 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-13-2006, 02:53 AM   #5
TiggerGal
Board Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Australia
Posts: 34
Rep Power: 0
TiggerGal is an unknown quantity at this point
Default

C.C,
I am sorry to hear about ur situation.. I am in a similar one myself.. but I sincerely hope that everything turns out for the best for you.
Take Care
TiggerGal is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-14-2006, 12:56 AM   #6
Berry2870
Board Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Rhode Island, USA
Posts: 34
Rep Power: 0
Berry2870 is an unknown quantity at this point
Default

Hi CC,

Hang in there! I was in a similar situation myself (at age 32 I found myself pregnant and alone but luckily I am surrounded by a very supporting family).

I guess the thing that I have learned out of it is that you can't go wrong as a single parent if you give your child all the love and support you can. Of course you will provide the basics, food, diapers, etc. too - that goes without saying but those are all REQUIREMENTS.

The most important thing you can give of yourself is your love and guidance. That is really what he(?) needs from you to grow up into a happy and well rounded adult. If you know in your heart that you can provide that, then relax and start to enjoy the experience because it will turn out fine.

As for those questions...expect them, be prepared for them...and welcome them. You did nothing wrong so you should not have to hide the answers in shame.

I scrapbook so what I did was create a scrapbook page that has one picture of me & her father together and just enough words to convey that although things didn't work out between me & her father, that she was conceived in love, that I consider her a blessing and that I am not ashamed. In between the pages I tucked away the few other pictures of him that I had along with all of his personal information that I had gathered (his social security number, date of birth, last known address, etc.) so that when the time comes for her to ask about him, I can pull out the scrapbook album and show her. I will support her in any decision she makes to pursue or not to pursue locating him.

You are going through a very scary time and it sure doesn't help to have your hormones taking you on the worst roller coaster ride of your life...

Please feel free to PM or even e-mail me directly if you need someone to talk to. I've walked in (and I'm still alone without support from the father) your shoes and I will be glad to help you.

Deb
Berry2870 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-18-2006, 03:58 AM   #7
C.C.
I am New
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 3
Rep Power: 0
C.C. is an unknown quantity at this point
Default

I just would like to thank everyone for their uplifting and kind words. I just got out of the hospital today. I've been there for the last 5 days because my water broke and I'm only 24 weeks. They let me go though because it sealed itself back up. I have to honestly say that it scared the **** out of me. Doctors telling me what could go wrong if he's born too soon and what I should expect. It was hard because I had to go through it by myself. I guess it gets better everyday. I talked to him the other day and his first reaction was "why are you calling me?" which made my heart break even more. It was like he didn't give a f#$%. He was basically saying that he cared but there was nothing that he could do because of the other girl and her baby. But u know.... it's all good. Within the next week he's going to be in the system and paying me to help support this baby whether he likes it or not. I guess everyday I get stronger because I have to. Being in this type of situation can only break u or make u stronger and although it's come close to breaking me many times I won't let it. The only thing that I can think about is my baby and no one else.
Adoption....I don't have it in me to do such a thing. I was adopted myself and I couldn't see myself doing that to my child no matter what. Not that I'm knocking the ppl that do decide to go that route it's just not for me. I don't know if I've forgiven him yet. 2 me it's all still very much an opened wound and I don't think that I can forgive him just yet. I most definately will never forget though. I haven't talked to another guy since and I don't plan on it again. Once again thanks for the support.

Peace & Blessings

C.
C.C. is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-19-2006, 12:32 AM   #8
Berry2870
Board Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Rhode Island, USA
Posts: 34
Rep Power: 0
Berry2870 is an unknown quantity at this point
Default

Hi C,

Sorry to hear about your hospitalization. Hang in there...

You are right...facing being a sigle parent can make or break you. Sounds like you got what it takes to make it.

Good for you...that strength will come in handy. You will make it through all the hardships and come to treasure the rest.

The bitterness toward the father is natural. You need him, he is not there for you or the baby. Add in how he treated you and you have good reason to be bitter. It will fade in time to a dull hate.

I have never forgiven my daughter's dad either. On one hand I am glad that I don't have to see him or deal with him (the relationship was going south before I even knew I was pregnant and there are a lot of bad memories) but I hate him for walking away from his daughter.

I have learned the hard way that time does NOT heal all wounds... but the pain does fade and you can go on living your life without letting it consume you.

Once you are immersed in the wonder of parenthood and you thank God every day for the little blessing in your life it starts to change your perspective and attitude about things. And you will start to reach out for someone again, you will just be wiser about it...

I hope that the rest of your pregnancy goes without any problems and that everything turns out OK for you. Keep us posted...

Deb
Berry2870 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-20-2006, 10:47 PM   #9
Janinne
Learning to Surf The Board
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Alberta
Posts: 18
Rep Power: 0
Janinne is an unknown quantity at this point
Default

Hello! He doesn't sound very reliable. You should raise this baby on your own because I don't think he would take very good care of it. Good luck and welcome!
Janinne is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-17-2006, 11:38 PM   #10
Bamgela0691106
I am New
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Stafford, VA
Posts: 4
Rep Power: 0
Bamgela0691106 is an unknown quantity at this point
Default

I guess you may have had the baby by now. My fiance and I just broke up in May. I am 7 months pregnant now. I am going at of my mind at times because I don't know what to do. I have a great apartment and a few friends, but all of my family is in Texas. He was supposed to be my family, and we made the decision to have this baby together which is the saddest part in my opinion. I have days where I love him and hate him for leaving. He says he wants to be a part of the baby's life, but it is really hard to think about that right now when I haven't had enough time to get over him leaving. I have days when I want him to be there and days where I wish I could disappear from his life forever because I am so stressed out and so confused. My feelings are on a spectrum I can't figure out. I go from 0 to 100 throughout the day. 100 being the worst thoughts in my head about him. Anyway I hope I find some people stonger than me right now. I worry constantly about how the baby is handling the stress being placed on him. Funny the baby's father said I would be less stressed if we broke up. I don't think that is happening, typical **** from him.
Bamgela0691106 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes


Resources: youngrobin.com
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
What is your best love story movie? Tessmit Movie Club 55 02-04-2011 10:34 AM
i'm in love with a man who is not in love with my life... MISS KELLY Dating & Relationships 17 12-06-2007 10:47 AM
Lies, deception, and disrespect Blindsky75 Discipline 20 12-22-2004 12:23 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 03:01 PM.

Some parent places to visit:
A Single Parents
Parent Arium
Solo Parents
Single Parent Personal Ads



Go Like Us On Facebook = facebook.com/SoloParent
Go Like Us On Facebook = facebook.com/SingleParentsInformation
Powered by vbulletin

All forums, topics and discussions are geared to single parents and the issues faced with single parenting.
Support a single parent today and one will support you back!

A Community for single parents, step parents and blended families

Disclaimer Under Section 107 of the Copyright Act 1976, allowance is made for "fair use" for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research. Fair use is a use permitted by copyright statute that might otherwise be infringing. Non-profit, educational or personal use tips the balance in favor of fair use.