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Old 07-08-2016, 02:10 PM   #1
mommaslove124
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Default The next steps

My daughter is 3 and a half and I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years. He is definitely the man for me. We have both lived in our own houses since we have been together but now we are talking about marriage and moving in and even having another child. This is huge for me because I have never been in love and never wanted this with anyone before. We are kind of unsure about what to do though.
My daughter and I moved into our house 2 years ago. I own the house and my boyfriend owns his house too. Neither of our houses are big enough for all 3 of us plus his big dog. We want to buy a house together but I want us to live together first, at least for a few months, just to make sure it works. Im nervous to sell my house then if it doesn't work out then we will have no where to live. However my house is way to small for his dog to be able to play and not destroy everything! At this point we really just aren't sure what to do. We are all ready to start this life together but also trying to be cautious of all the possibilities first. Any advice?
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Old 07-08-2016, 08:25 PM   #2
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Default Re: The next steps

Rent both houses and find a house big enough for all of you?
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Old 07-13-2016, 02:21 PM   #3
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Default Re: The next steps

With two houses this becomes a challenge. In our case we each owned a house , but mine was big enough to handle everyone though certainly not grand (with six kids we had to place two kids in each room). Because of our religious beliefs we refused to live together first, so we did not a situation where we would be leaving a house vacant for any extended period. We moved her house out of the picture within a few months of getting married.

The challenge I see, is that even with good income, three mortgages is a tough swing for almost anyone, especially when the one you are adding is likely the biggest one.

The renting is not a poor idea, however I know too many people who had damage done to their property from the lack of care that typical renters have with a property that is not theirs. I would just keep that in mind, and it also depends on if there really is a rental market in your area for homes. In some places there is not.

Not much I can offer other than that because I would just approach it differently so that would not help based on what you want to do.
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Old 07-13-2016, 05:05 PM   #4
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Default Re: The next steps

I get wanting to keep that safety net so you have that "out" if it doesn't work. But here's the thing. If you are that sure, why do you need an out? Even the best marriages take work. There are always going to be ups and downs, challenges, good times, bad times, etc. And money troubles are one of the main marriage killers anyway so if you are trying to support 3 houses I think you are asking for trouble.

So I guess my advice is if you are going to take the plunge it's all in....sell both and buy one. New family, new home, fresh start.
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Old 08-01-2016, 03:06 PM   #5
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Default Re: The next steps

Thanks for the advice guys! We decided against renting. He is going to sell his house and move into mine (for now) so we can save some money for a down payment to make sure we get the house we really want! We are just going to take that as it comes, whether we find our dream house 2 months after he moves in or 2 years. He did ask me to marry him which has put a lot in perspective for me and I know neither of us are going anywhere. We will be getting married May 19, 2018 pretty excited!
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Old 10-26-2016, 07:21 PM   #6
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Default Re: The next steps

Congratulations mommaslove124!!!!! (I know this is late in responding) But it's so nice to hear good news, no matter what time of year.
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