Single Parents Forum: Single Family Voices
    

Go Back   Single Parents Forum: Single Family Voices >
(``'·.¸(``'·.¸ Single Parent Mothers ¸.·'´´)¸.·'´´)
> 30 - Something Single Moms

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 04-24-2017, 08:23 PM   #1
ECRuiz
I am New
 
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: Arizona
Posts: 5
Rep Power: 0
ECRuiz is an unknown quantity at this point
Default My 17 year old and I bump heads...a lot

So where do I begin...

I am a single parent and have been all of his life. My son is a great kid overall. loved going to church, social with peers and always in activities. He was just an all around happy child. I would say the last year and half he has changed. i can tell something was not right to a point that i was worried so i took him to counseling. I too saw the counselor on separate visits. He started to come around after a few visits so we stopped going. One day we got to talking an he said he doesn't believe in god anymore. I never understood why until the reason was because he got depressed. It made me sad to think he felt that way because I too suffer from depression and know what's it's like. it's a heavy thing to cope with and id wish i could have carried it for him.

Time carried on for a while and after hard work i purchased a house. About 45 minutes from his school and because i always wanted my son to have stability i kept him in the same school. and this would be the time where our relationship started to break. He has an attitude with me almost always. We bicker at each other to the point where I start yelling. He doesn't talk much anymore. I always told him we eat together at the dinner table and now it's silence. i try to pick up a conversation but he pushes back. His favorite work is I don't know. He did tell me that because of me buying the house he doesn't have a social life. Could it be he's mad at me fro that..i don't know

He is a junior right now and I tried to get him started on college preparations.. you know applications studying for SAT, apply for scholarship and have a PLAN!! I stepped up and started doing it for him until a friend of mine said he has to learn and do it on his own. i would have continued but i find myself very stressed and my anxiety sky high. i think to myself he's ungrateful, he treats me like ____ why should I. If i saw the forth effort in him though than I would help. But hes just not motivated.

I'm currently depressed. This "bi bolar" relationship has got me to a point where i called a strike and didn't cook dinner for a week. and i called it a fend for yourself week. If he is hungry he will cook. He barely ate that week. Told him to take the bus home instead of me picking him up.Boy he hated that. Go in the store and shop for your lunch food.
Now tell me...Is this crazy? My reasoning is so he can start being independent maybe be appreciative towards me and appreciate the things he does have. I'm sad... very sad and I've started to shut down. My efforts are deteriorating and i think i reached my peak. I don't have the energy anymore.



eh.....day by day i tell myself...day by day

Elizabeth
ECRuiz is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-17-2017, 12:10 PM   #2
StbGradMom79
I am New
 
Join Date: May 2017
Location: Oregon
Posts: 3
Rep Power: 0
StbGradMom79 is an unknown quantity at this point
Default Re: My 17 year old and I bump heads...a

Moving 45 min away must be hard on him. I realize it's very difficult and expensive to buy a house and now it's done so you can't just undo that. I would put dinners back on. Maybe a little later in the day. See if he wants to go home with a friend and hang out a couple days a week. I don't know what your schedule is but a social life is important but family dinner time is also. With my kids each night at dinner I ask them what their favorite part of the day is and what would they change about the day. This gets conversation started and they in turn ask me. Having a night or two that he makes dinner might help too. My kids 15 and 9 get to make breakfast once a week and I let them help with dinner a couple nights a week. It helps build them up. I would say it's ok to help with college but make sure he's there too. Go visit colleges together. A lot of state and universities expect first year students to live in student housing so find one of those and he'll get a chance to learn with his peers how to be more independent. My 15yo can't wait for a chance to do the same. I'm looking forward to it also. Bi-monthly counseling isn't a bad idea of any teenager, they have a lot they're dealing with and having someone to talk that all out with can be very helpful.

Good luck mama!
StbGradMom79 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Hit a rough Bump SingleMama318 20 Something Single Moms 19 04-03-2012 11:30 AM
YAY!! Hopefully this will bump my grade! momofTDR Campus Single Parents 7 11-13-2009 10:56 PM
Give me the heads up on custody! JoshuaPaytonsMom Custody - Visitation 8 04-04-2005 03:02 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 03:14 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.