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Old 06-26-2014, 06:03 AM   #1
mizundastood9 Female
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beg or prayer At my wits end!!! Please help!!!

My daughter is 6 months old and I'm completely burnt out on her. I work 40+ hrs a week trying to make sure I can provide for her and all she does is cry. She constantly fights her sleep. She can go to sleep and then, 10-15 mins later, she is back up as if she just took a 2hr nap. She is never satisfied with anything. She'll want to get down and play but 10-15 mins later, she is screaming like she is hurt and wants to be picked up and does it all over again. She laughs in your face no matter how mad you are. Everything is a joke to her. She would rather be mischievous than be a 6 month old kid. She will cry for hours on end to where im scared someone is gonna try to take her from me. My mother has given up watching her for me while I work because she is too much. I dont know what to do or where to turn. She has become a complete tyrant and im tired of it. I cant deal. This is my only child and I have no idea what im doing. Im trying so hard to be the best mom to her, but like I said, it goes unappreciated.
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Old 06-26-2014, 07:51 AM   #2
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Default Re: At my wits end!!! Please help!!!

First, welcome to SFV!
She is only 6months, a lot of the crying is just a phase. If you think it is more than normal, has she been to the Dr lately?
My Nany (RIP) always had a saying, babies only cry for three reasons;
Their hungry
Their tired (which may be the case if she is not sleeping well)
They need a diaper change
*If all that fails, strip them naked I had to do the last with my oldest once. He just wouldn't stop crying no matter what I did. I stripped him down and laid him on a blanket. He was good to go.

Is she pooping good? If not, try laying her on her back on your lap long ways. Make it a game of silly faces and noises while scrunching her legs into her belly. Or lay her on her belly across your lap, swaying or bouncing your legs a bit while patting her back. This helps to ease tummy aches

Fighting sleep: No one is going to take your baby because she is crying. So go ahead and stop worrying about that. Babies cry. It's what they do besides eat, poop and sleep.

I think once you realize that, learning to let her cry will become easier. She is not going to get hurt crying (I know it sounds like they will sometimes).
Lay her in her crib and let her cry herself to sleep.
If you know you have fed her, changed her, maybe a soothing bath before bed, then you have done all you can do. Let her cry
If you're going and getting her every time she cries, then she has come to understand that's what it takes. Walk away. Turn the music up a bit. Walk outside (as long as you know she is secure).

Also, if mom is stressed, babies sense this. Try to destress if you can. Put her in a bouncy chair, or lay her down for a nap...something secure, and take a nice warm bath. Or put her in her stroller and go for a walk. This was a hard one for me with my oldest, understanding that they pick up on our anxiety.

Good luck & cut yourself some slack. Babies are not easy, especially doing it as a single parent. None of us, married, single, knew what we were doing. Shoot, I still don't and mine are teens. It's a new day, everyday

I do worry that you feel so at end's. Take a deep breath. You will be fine and so will she.

---------- Post added at 07:51 AM ---------- Previous post was at 07:45 AM ----------

Thought of something else, is she teething? Breast fed, formula, or what is she eating at this stage?
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Old 06-26-2014, 07:59 AM   #3
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Default Re: At my wits end!!! Please help!!!

My first two were "easy" babies more or less but the last one was super fussy. I wish I had advice beyond what WS just submitted.....but I do know that the fussy one suddenly, for whatever reason, just stopped being so. Hopefully yours will too.
Maybe a doctor visit just to rule things out....It may not help much but just reading that she will laugh in your face no matter how mad you are is a good thing. It probably means that she is physically okay and that she just loves to see you!
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Old 06-26-2014, 11:05 AM   #4
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Default Re: At my wits end!!! Please help!!!

Welcome!
In your frustration you are crediting her with too much...devious intent. That's normal, though. It sure can feel that way at times. If she is giving her behavior that much thought and control then you have an absolute genius on your hands!

WS gave excellent advice. It's great news, as Muskie said, that she will look you in the eye and laugh. That pretty much rules out some other things that could cause constant crying.

I agree that a doctor visit is in order... you need to be as sure as possible that this is not due to pain.

Does she usually stop crying when you pick her up or pay undivided attention to her? If so then I think it's probably correct that she has learned that crying will get her what she wants. YOU!

Good luck and let us know how things go.
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Old 06-26-2014, 12:08 PM   #5
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sorry Re: At my wits end!!! Please help!!!

Thank you to everyone for your advice.

Thank you very much. Her crying goes for hours on end. She will stop and once she realizes she is sleep, it gets worse and louder. I know for a fact she is tired but even when she does sleep, it doesn't change her behavior. She poops and everything just fine. But with all of her excessive and loud crying, i really do fear them taking her. But im really gonna have to buckle down harder on letting her cry it out. I dont think anything is seriously wrong with her that she needs to see a dr. But what is causing her to laugh in my face when I fuss at her? That really upsets me very much. And she doesn't care about anything i say, only what she wants to do. She knows how to crawl but won't stay on the floor long enough to get better at it. If you hold her, she wants to get down and start crying all over again. No matter what we do to soothe her, we are getting laughedat or she is sscreaming at the top of her lungs. And I definitely understand that I am stressed which makes it worse, but a lot of my stress is her and her behavior.
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Old 06-26-2014, 12:36 PM   #6
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Default Re: At my wits end!!! Please help!!!

First, she is not "laughing" at you. Babies do not have that developed intent. Something about what you are doing seems to please her. Not your upset, but something..... maybe the faces she finds funny, but she doesn't know why you are making faces.

To me, it sounds like a) she can't self soothe like she should and b) she can't make herself fall asleep. This can be a very common thing at six months. My suggestion is googling both topics for solutions.
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Old 06-26-2014, 12:40 PM   #7
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Default Re: At my wits end!!! Please help!!!

Thank you for your advice LSL. She is capable of falling asleep by herself. I've witnessed it and she just did it now. But I will definitely google that.
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Old 06-26-2014, 02:20 PM   #8
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Default Re: At my wits end!!! Please help!!!

She goes to sleep, but does not stay asleep. Even if they are in what appears to be asleep for 10-15 minutes, that is not really sleep. She is not moving past stage 1. And so something is blocking that. Pretty common for that age.
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Old 06-26-2014, 02:52 PM   #9
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Default Re: At my wits end!!! Please help!!!

Do you know how i can help her get passed that? I did the research for helping her to learn how to self soothe and i found some good information.
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Old 06-26-2014, 04:43 PM   #10
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Default Re: At my wits end!!! Please help!!!

check out how to fix her startle reflex. I am betting she is on hyperalert all the time. Likely in response to the stress she is picking up form you, and other caretakers... It happens.
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Old 07-20-2014, 02:49 PM   #11
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Default Re: At my wits end!!! Please help!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by mizundastood9 View Post
Thank you to everyone for your advice.

Thank you very much. Her crying goes for hours on end. She will stop and once she realizes she is sleep, it gets worse and louder. I know for a fact she is tired but even when she does sleep, it doesn't change her behavior. She poops and everything just fine. But with all of her excessive and loud crying, i really do fear them taking her. But im really gonna have to buckle down harder on letting her cry it out. I dont think anything is seriously wrong with her that she needs to see a dr. But what is causing her to laugh in my face when I fuss at her? That really upsets me very much. And she doesn't care about anything i say, only what she wants to do. She knows how to crawl but won't stay on the floor long enough to get better at it. If you hold her, she wants to get down and start crying all over again. No matter what we do to soothe her, we are getting laughedat or she is sscreaming at the top of her lungs. And I definitely understand that I am stressed which makes it worse, but a lot of my stress is her and her behavior.
Wow, just wow. I have a multitude of responses to this.... let me find the tactful one. THIS IS A 6 MONTH OLD BABY... it is not capable of all of this deep thought and hatred toward you that you seem to think she is doing.

Of course she doesn't care what you say, she doesn't have a command of language yet. If you think this child is stressing you out now, just wait.

Babies are extremely inconvenient. This is something as a first time parent you better get a handle on now because she isn't going to get any easier for a long time.

She is learning cause and effect. I cry, Mommy comes. The louder I cry, the more time I get with mommy. I know you feel like she is making you jump through hoops, but you are doing it to yourself.

I also think you should pick up a book about the first milestones and what to expect in the first year of development. At 6 months most are just rolling over. Crawling hits later. Perhaps if you arm yourself with some information, it will decrease your stress levels.
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