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Old 09-06-2005, 12:21 AM   #1
inni
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Well, I said I wasn't "looking" .. but I think I was lying to myself. I have been on a single parents dating site for a couple of months... and tho, I said I was just looking for friends --- if I admit the truth - I know I was hoping to find a friend, but have it turn into more.

The one guy I liked, and exchanged several emails with, just does not seem all that interested. I am feeling very much like I am a toad.

When I post new topics here, only a few respond... when I post a response it is rarely commented on ... but, I know the people here are awesome - and it's just me and my stupid insecurities getting the better of me.

I am so tired, and lacking any real drive what-so-ever...but I have to make myself go on. I put a smile on my face, and just try to enjoy my boys and forget that I am so lonely inside it makes me want to curl up in a ball and cry. I won't do it.

Can I talk myself into not being lonely? I keep busy.. and that does help ... but there are times when it's like having a craving for a certain food. You want chinese food, but all you have in the fridge is itallian ...

I doubt I make much sense.. and I don't expect anyone to respond.. I just needed to let it out.

You all are wonderful - and forgive me for sounding like I feel sorry for myself... I guess I am doing that - but I know it's a waste of energy and a pitiful emotion .... so I promise to slap myself out of it soon.

God Bless
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Old 09-06-2005, 12:21 AM   #2
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Well, I said I wasn't "looking" .. but I think I was lying to myself. I have been on a single parents dating site for a couple of months... and tho, I said I was just looking for friends --- if I admit the truth - I know I was hoping to find a friend, but have it turn into more.

The one guy I liked, and exchanged several emails with, just does not seem all that interested. I am feeling very much like I am a toad.

When I post new topics here, only a few respond... when I post a response it is rarely commented on ... but, I know the people here are awesome - and it's just me and my stupid insecurities getting the better of me.

I am so tired, and lacking any real drive what-so-ever...but I have to make myself go on. I put a smile on my face, and just try to enjoy my boys and forget that I am so lonely inside it makes me want to curl up in a ball and cry. I won't do it.

Can I talk myself into not being lonely? I keep busy.. and that does help ... but there are times when it's like having a craving for a certain food. You want chinese food, but all you have in the fridge is itallian ...

I doubt I make much sense.. and I don't expect anyone to respond.. I just needed to let it out.

You all are wonderful - and forgive me for sounding like I feel sorry for myself... I guess I am doing that - but I know it's a waste of energy and a pitiful emotion .... so I promise to slap myself out of it soon.

God Bless
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Old 09-06-2005, 12:27 AM   #3
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Somebody hear sumthin?


InnI, very few of your posts go unnoticed. Trust me. You are a part of us and hey, we all get ignored around here sooner or later. They all have kids!

Loneliness is there for all of us. So in that way, you really aren't alone are you?

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Old 09-06-2005, 12:41 AM   #4
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InnI, I'll second what JD said. Been feeling some of that myself lately, but then I've turned inward a little more too, so it's up to me to turn it around and get out.

Rest assured that these posts are noticed, and you're not alone.

Chris
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Old 09-06-2005, 12:54 AM   #5
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I'll third that.

Now pick yourself up by your bootstraps and keep on keeping on
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Old 09-06-2005, 03:21 AM   #6
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Hey lady, I am here too. I have been here for such a short time in comparison to most of the people here but I know everyone here is important and cared for. I am always willing to talk anytime you want. I check alot on the PM so if you want to, PM.

Smile lady, you are loved.
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Old 09-06-2005, 07:32 AM   #7
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Oh no, you are way too special to be feeling this way! (((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))) We love you!
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Old 09-06-2005, 09:18 AM   #8
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I know that feeling of loneliness.

Life keeps me busy and then a quiet period comes and I feel so isolated.

You are not alone. We all are here sharing this trip.
Chin up, I think you are great. Be well
Harmony
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Old 09-06-2005, 09:24 AM   #9
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you are not feeling anyting the rest of us are not feeling, or have felt, or will feel. thats why we are all single parents. we all know what its like to feel unwanted, neglected, left out, and even worse, the "third Wheel". even more so when you see people you know in relationships.

We all say, "don't try so hard and when you are not looking it will come." and we all know that we try and still keep looking, saying "is this the one?" we have all been there, still there, or will be there.

I have two, 13, and 14. they take most of my time, but they do go to sleep, to school, to their mom's for the weekend, and here I am, with way too much time to think and thats when it hits. cheer up and feel free to vent when ever you like, heck you can even send me a personal email and really let go, I am a good listener.

Hugs babygirl and keep the faith, we all love ya
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Old 09-06-2005, 10:02 AM   #10
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I feel that way on some days also. Things seem to be that way more and more lately. But then you can look at your kids and try to think how wonderful things are. I may not get back to you on your posts on that timely of a manner, but I try to as soon as I can.
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Old 09-06-2005, 11:23 AM   #11
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InnI, you are not alone. I completely understand what you are going through. Although I know I may not be quite ready for a relationship, I am still so lonely and just wish I had a companion to share life with. It is so hard being a single mom. Especially seeing my friends who have more freedom and have relatinships. Hang in there, it will get easier. (At least thats what I am hoping too)
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Old 09-06-2005, 12:35 PM   #12
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InnI,

I know excatly how you feel. Being lonely is a word that is cemented in my vocab list LOL.

I keep busy w/work and my son's school and reorganzing the coming baby's stuff but there are times when I get nothing to do - that loneness comes over me. It's hard to see my frineds in relationships or starting new ones and I'm there alone single mommy to an 8yr old and pregnate.

Like erin19 says hang in there it gets easier. I'm hoping that is ture too. There is light at the end of the tunnel I just haven't seen it yet

SPIRIT
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Old 09-06-2005, 01:06 PM   #13
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InnI, I know about those cravings...I would like to have shrimp and lobster every night, but I usually end up a a cup of those Maruchan noodles! , not they are bad, but not what I really want.
Lets just say I have a nice plate of seafood but its somewhat out of my reach at the moment, but I think its staying hot and hopefully soon I will get it, but for now I have to keep eating the instant noodles....
Does that anology make sense to you? Hope this cheers you up, your not the only person hungry out there!
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Old 09-06-2005, 01:21 PM   #14
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JD, Orion, Don, Melissa, Sue, Harmony, Wyatt, smshybug, erin, Spirit, & Tucson ....

A heartfelt thank you does not seem enough, to tell you how much I appreciate your support. I am a little embarrassed for being such a whiney ____, but too - glad that I let it out, and received such a warm and caring response. I guess, I just needed to hear it...and be personally reminded that we all feel it from time to time.

smshybug ... forgive me, if I made it seem like anyone was not responding to my posts in a timely manner ... as that is not really how I meant what I said. It was more, to illustrate that I have that feeling of being invisible. Everyone here is amazingly supportive, and I am lucky to have found such a wonderful group. I totally understand everyone is busy with work, kids, and life.

I don't feel so invisible today, and the loneliness does come and go ... but I'm not alone ... I have you all!!!


Thank you!!!!

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Old 09-06-2005, 02:18 PM   #15
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Hey Inni~ I was away for the weekend - no work and no internet at home.

I hope you are feeling much much better!! Last week you and I posted to a thread about being content with ourselves and our kids and no relationship.

Now that you posted this, I can say that - I am feeling a little 'left out' pity me too. Will this always come and go??? Will someone plllease let us know how to make it go away forever???

Anyway - You are very much appreciated around here and I love reading your posts. Send me a pm if you're ever feeling lonely. I know = I know - it's not the same as have that special friend ya tell everything to but - we're all here for ya Girl! Chin up!
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Old 09-06-2005, 02:34 PM   #16
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Ditto to what Melissa Jo said aboutr private messages and how much you are appreciated around here!
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Old 09-06-2005, 02:55 PM   #17
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<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by InnI:
[qb] Well, I said I wasn't "looking" .. but I think I was lying to myself. I have been on a single parents dating site for a couple of months... and tho, I said I was just looking for friends --- if I admit the truth - I know I was hoping to find a friend, but have it turn into more.

The one guy I liked, and exchanged several emails with, just does not seem all that interested. I am feeling very much like I am a toad.

When I post new topics here, only a few respond... when I post a response it is rarely commented on ... but, I know the people here are awesome - and it's just me and my stupid insecurities getting the better of me.

I am so tired, and lacking any real drive what-so-ever...but I have to make myself go on. I put a smile on my face, and just try to enjoy my boys and forget that I am so lonely inside it makes me want to curl up in a ball and cry. I won't do it.

Can I talk myself into not being lonely? I keep busy.. and that does help ... but there are times when it's like having a craving for a certain food. You want chinese food, but all you have in the fridge is itallian ...

I doubt I make much sense.. and I don't expect anyone to respond.. I just needed to let it out.

You all are wonderful - and forgive me for sounding like I feel sorry for myself... I guess I am doing that - but I know it's a waste of energy and a pitiful emotion .... so I promise to slap myself out of it soon.

God Bless [/qb] </div></BLOCKQUOTE>Dear Inn1----I feel almost an old timer ...as a single mom of 3....for the last10 years...I have somehow dealt with all that stuff you were talking about and still do on a daily basis,but here's the good part.....I can't really tell you how to do it,but I know you will and in the long run it just happens with a little prayer and forward thinking.Hang in there.......
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Old 09-06-2005, 03:05 PM   #18
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<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by InnI:
[qb] JD, Orion, Don, Melissa, Sue, Harmony, Wyatt, smshybug, erin, Spirit, & Tucson ....

A heartfelt thank you does not seem enough, to tell you how much I appreciate your support. I am a little embarrassed for being such a whiney ____, but too - glad that I let it out, and received such a warm and caring response. [/qb] </div></BLOCKQUOTE>InnI,
It was no problem, I am only not feeling this way right now because of My guy. I understand and when I cant talk to him I get that way too. I restate my invitation to PM any time you want.
More huggles and have a nice rest of the day.
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Old 09-06-2005, 03:35 PM   #19
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someone asked how do you make it go away forever. I am not sure it does. I have been on my own with the kids for the better part of 7 years and those feelings come on a regular basis.
and as others have, the Private email still stands and for anyone else that needs or wants to really vent. hugs to all
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Old 09-06-2005, 05:10 PM   #20
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Well I hope your happy Inni. It seems you've got a few of us to respond, . Not read your post,pshaw. Who could forget Inni looking for outie, and many other memorable threads. I may not always respond to things you write but I always look forward to reading a post when I see your name attached. Maybe you should look at it more that when you write things they are so well said that people don't feel they need to add to it. Huh, ever look at it that way silly girl?

Everyone has the right to feel sorry for themselves once in a while. In fact I recall someone posting last week whining about going out with her friends. Oh yeah that was me.

I love the chinese vs itallion food, omg I feel that way all the time . And the dating site thing, really now, we all say that. I just want some friends, isn't that really to protect our egos and keep our nosey friends and fanily off our back. Well who are we kidding? If I just wanted friends I wouldn't limit my search to men ages 28-40 within 50 miles of my zip code,. Actually after a few "winners" through the OL service I think I'm all done with that for a bit. I just love writing the profiles. Who knows maybe I'll do it again for S and giggles. We could share our profile with eachother for critiquing.

Fageddaboudit!
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Old 09-07-2005, 12:59 AM   #21
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<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content"> I hope you are feeling much much better!! Last week you and I posted
to a thread about being content with ourselves and our kids and no relationship.

Now that you posted this, I can say that - I am feeling a little 'left out' pity me too.
Will this always come and go??? Will someone plllease let us know how to make it go away forever???
</div></BLOCKQUOTE>Ahhh yes, Melissa Jo ... therein lies the challenge.. keeping the lonliness @ bay.
It comes and goes...and comes and goes. I do feel much better, tho - with the boys gone ... I
am still lonely. The great people here have made a huge difference in my life of late - and I
am greatful. I guess I just needed to hear it.

Thank you - Thank you!!! hehe

Harmony --- hugssssssssssss & yall are gonna regret it when I fill up yer inbox.

LMS44 .. hello and thanks. I'm saving my prayers for those who were hurt by Katrina,
and those here who have much bigger problems than being a little lonely. But, you are right...
I'll make it thru.

scoutmom... @ silly girl... I think you are right.

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Fageddaboudit! </div></BLOCKQUOTE>hahaha!!!

Well... I am going to be trimming back on expenses so I can afford to pay my son's car insurance.
I want him to get a part time job eventually, but right now - I really want him to focus on school,
and marching band. So .. one of the expenses I plan to cut first is any paid chat / dating site. I
belong to a few .. I'm embarrased to admit ... and the only place I really get any real support,
laughter and friendship is here.

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Old 09-07-2005, 03:23 AM   #22
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Wow, you folks said it all.. can I say ditto to all of it?
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Old 09-11-2005, 08:36 PM   #23
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Hey InnI---I just now ran across your post and I know exactly how you feel.I always say I'm not looking for anyone too,yeah right,of course I'm looking.I now realize that I just say that because I know I probably won't find anyone or it might not work out,that way they won't be thinking "man she's such a loser,can't even get a man".And the part you said about feeling invisible,been there done that too.I'm learning though that it's not so bad being alone.Every now and then it will hit me though,you know the feeling,"if I don't meet someone immediately and get some kind of attention and affection I won't be responsible for my actions".Thankfully,that feeling comes and goes.Like everyone else said though,this is the best place I've found when I get lonely-everybody is always so nice and encouraging.I don't know how long you've been alone,I've lost count myself ,LOL ,but it does get better,promise.If you ever need to talk feel free to pm me too.Good luck.
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Old 09-15-2005, 08:05 AM   #24
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<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by InnI:
[qb] Well, I said I wasn't "looking" .. but I think I was lying to myself. I have been on a single parents dating site for a couple of months... and tho, I said I was just looking for friends --- if I admit the truth - I know I was hoping to find a friend, but have it turn into more.

The one guy I liked, and exchanged several emails with, just does not seem all that interested. I am feeling very much like I am a toad.

When I post new topics here, only a few respond... when I post a response it is rarely commented on ... but, I know the people here are awesome - and it's just me and my stupid insecurities getting the better of me.

I am so tired, and lacking any real drive what-so-ever...but I have to make myself go on. I put a smile on my face, and just try to enjoy my boys and forget that I am so lonely inside it makes me want to curl up in a ball and cry. I won't do it.

Can I talk myself into not being lonely? I keep busy.. and that does help ... but there are times when it's like having a craving for a certain food. You want chinese food, but all you have in the fridge is itallian ...

I doubt I make much sense.. and I don't expect anyone to respond.. I just needed to let it out.

You all are wonderful - and forgive me for sounding like I feel sorry for myself... I guess I am doing that - but I know it's a waste of energy and a pitiful emotion .... so I promise to slap myself out of it soon.

God Bless [/qb] </div></BLOCKQUOTE>
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Old 09-15-2005, 08:20 AM   #25
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<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by cawish0845:
[qb] <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by InnI:
[qb] Well, I said I wasn't "looking" .. but I think I was lying to myself. I have been on a single parents dating site for a couple of months... and tho, I said I was just looking for friends --- if I admit the truth - I know I was hoping to find a friend, but have it turn into more.

The one guy I liked, and exchanged several emails with, just does not seem all that interested. I am feeling very much like I am a toad.

When I post new topics here, only a few respond... when I post a response it is rarely commented on ... but, I know the people here are awesome - and it's just me and my stupid insecurities getting the better of me.

I am so tired, and lacking any real drive what-so-ever...but I have to make myself go on. I put a smile on my face, and just try to enjoy my boys and forget that I am so lonely inside it makes me want to curl up in a ball and cry. I won't do it.

Can I talk myself into not being lonely? I keep busy.. and that does help ... but there are times when it's like having a craving for a certain food. You want chinese food, but all you have in the fridge is itallian ...

I doubt I make much sense.. and I don't expect anyone to respond.. I just needed to let it out.

You all are wonderful - and forgive me for sounding like I feel sorry for myself... I guess I am doing that - but I know it's a waste of energy and a pitiful emotion .... so I promise to slap myself out of it soon.

God Bless [/qb] </div></BLOCKQUOTE>[/qb] </div></BLOCKQUOTE>Well, I am new on here as of today, but felt compelled to respond to your post, because I can most definately relate to your dilema within yourself. I would be willing to bet that most everyone on here could do the same. Feeling sorry for yourself is not pitiful...not by a long shot. It comes with the territory of being lonely, and we all feel it at one time or another. I am a mother of 4 children, 3 of them still living at home, and I am never alone, but I am often lonely. I have found that the 2 are completely different. Take your time for you and do what you need to do during that time, and if concentrating on your sorrows is what you need to do at that time, then do it...sort them out, cry..whatever you need to help you get a perspective and a grip on it. That is YOUR time, and no one can take that from you. And then put your smile back on and go back to facing the world. I have learned that despite the cliche about misery loving company, it's best for me to have myself as that company and save the company of others for those times when I am ok with everything. My down times tend to make others back away, but it is totally awesome how people flock around happiness. Sounds to me like you are doing just fine. You are entitled to your down times, but don't lose the faith!
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All forums, topics and discussions are geared to single parents and the issues faced with single parenting.
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A Community for single parents, step parents and blended families

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