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Old 02-06-2006, 07:49 PM   #1
singlevetmum
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Hi I am a single mum and full-time student from Australia. I have been living with my ex of five years for the last 13 months, plus my two kids, two snakes, three dogs, 20 fish, 20 rats.
My house is an absolute nightmare at the moment! My kids are 10 y.o. girl and 5y.o. boy, both to the one father and are both now in school. They are absolutely fantastic.
The problem is my ex and his ever increasing erratic behaviour. It's very difficult to explain, but the jist of it is he is happy to use me for whatever he needs like money, car, food etc... which he always returns, or pays for *eventually* (we live together but share nothing) but when I ask him to return the favour I end up getting jipped. Like last night he was meant to fix the car, which I paid him to do six months ago, which he did a poor job of so it broke again. Except he said I had to buy him some bourbon to do it(even though I had only a few dollars to get the kids to school today)Then when I got home from dropping my daughters friend home(in my other car) he stormed off because I was late, and had forgotten the bourbon.
This is happening on a almost daily basis, no fighting, but discomfort and then he rings the next day and apologises. I feel like I have a boyfriend which for me means being depressed more than not, and crying a lot.
Please I really need some help on what to do.
Am I crazy trying to make it work or should I just work harder to seperate our lives further?
I have worked so hard to stay single because I can't deal with upsets and then I go and let my ex back in and I am a mess again!
I must add (to be fair to him) that we get along well most of the time, but that might be because I am letting him walk all over me! Also I would really like to make this situation work......but when we were together I tried to make that work too, and I realise now that no matter how hard I had tried, it was never going to!
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Old 02-06-2006, 07:49 PM   #2
singlevetmum
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Hi I am a single mum and full-time student from Australia. I have been living with my ex of five years for the last 13 months, plus my two kids, two snakes, three dogs, 20 fish, 20 rats.
My house is an absolute nightmare at the moment! My kids are 10 y.o. girl and 5y.o. boy, both to the one father and are both now in school. They are absolutely fantastic.
The problem is my ex and his ever increasing erratic behaviour. It's very difficult to explain, but the jist of it is he is happy to use me for whatever he needs like money, car, food etc... which he always returns, or pays for *eventually* (we live together but share nothing) but when I ask him to return the favour I end up getting jipped. Like last night he was meant to fix the car, which I paid him to do six months ago, which he did a poor job of so it broke again. Except he said I had to buy him some bourbon to do it(even though I had only a few dollars to get the kids to school today)Then when I got home from dropping my daughters friend home(in my other car) he stormed off because I was late, and had forgotten the bourbon.
This is happening on a almost daily basis, no fighting, but discomfort and then he rings the next day and apologises. I feel like I have a boyfriend which for me means being depressed more than not, and crying a lot.
Please I really need some help on what to do.
Am I crazy trying to make it work or should I just work harder to seperate our lives further?
I have worked so hard to stay single because I can't deal with upsets and then I go and let my ex back in and I am a mess again!
I must add (to be fair to him) that we get along well most of the time, but that might be because I am letting him walk all over me! Also I would really like to make this situation work......but when we were together I tried to make that work too, and I realise now that no matter how hard I had tried, it was never going to!
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Old 02-06-2006, 08:17 PM   #3
tomany2count
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Hi and welcome to the site, great place to be.
It really sounds like you have answered your own question. You said you are a mess again since he has moved in. For yourself and kids you have to stop being a mess.
I don't understand why he is there if you two are not together. Why did he move back in? What is the goal of him moving back in and where is it suppose to go?
You have also stated that no matter how hard you try it was/is never going to work out.
Some men think they need a live in mother and will work very hard at getting it. Sounds like he needs to learn how to stand on his own two feet instead of yours.
Keep in mind this is just hearing your side of it. I wonder what he would say about the situation.
Hope this helps some.
God bless.
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