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Old 09-16-2013, 12:33 AM   #1
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Hi ...very long battle dealing with my ex..

Well, I tried to get a little help with modifying my profile. I used the wrong name and wanted to change it before I get into too much detail. Folks know me by that name and I should have picked another one for more anonymity. I have had a very long battle dealing with my ex. We first had a hearing in 2007. Oh it is such a long story starting before that. We have a history of sexual abuse, I blocked it out for many years and when the memories surfaced again it was too late to do anything about it legally. Despite his admitting to it. After the first hearing I found out very disturbing things about him that led me to get my son checked out for any damage inflicted by his father but to no avail. Either he blocked out some things too or he is trying to protect him. Anyway, fast forward a few years and I am due in court as of last Friday. My son is 15 now and wanted to live with his father. So be it. We were going to court, to relieve him of the child support he was supposed to pay while my son was with him. Fine. I get there a little late and they ruled in default against me. (curse word) The thing is, I sat right in front of him in the waiting area. I called his lawyer and him but no answer. The stamp on the court order is 20 minutes after I arrive. I went to the restroom and came back and he was gone. I get a text a while later saying he missed me and told me the ruling. Shady. I am a full time student with two other kids and now I am supposed to pay him child support even he is still in arrears over 5,000$$!!? WTF Now he will be filing for medicaid. I have had so much trouble with medicaid. He has 3 CPS cases stating his house is not fit for a child to live in. My son wanted to live there, my house is in the middle of no where and my present husband and him do not get along. I have been to court 4 times with the ex. I had no money for a lawyer. He couldn't pay what he owed in arrears but he can afford a lawyer now.
I am going through a nasty split up with my youngest children's father on top of that. I was wondering about the legalities of common law marriage. We were never formally married but filed married on our taxes in 2009. In 2007 he put me on his health insurance as his wife using his last name. He has always called me his wife. On our bills I am his wife. On my student loan I am his wife. He expects me to leave with my children and nothing else. He has been verbally abusive to me and my oldest son but the police are no help. He won't leave. He makes over 100,000 a year, has 5 vehicles in his name and 11 acres where we live now (that I helped find). And he expects me to leave with nothing. I am a full time student with no job and 3 kids dealing with these men. How did I get myself into this? I am so very distraught right now. I did the shelter thing when the memories from the first man came back to haunt me. I need legal representation. I think first I would like to see if I can get a legal divorce if common law would fit. The tax accountant said if we were to file separate again we would need divorce papers. I just need enough to get out of here and into an apartment for me and my kids. I am not greedy but I should not be forced to leave with nothing. I was his housewife, and since I started school he has been very resentful of me and my son. I am in Texas. Any advice?

---------- Post added at 11:33 PM ---------- Previous post was at 11:31 PM ----------

I am a mess.
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Old 09-16-2013, 12:40 AM   #2
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Default Re: ...very long battle dealing with my

welcome SaraiLorraine... just give me a name to change you too and wallah it will be done...

My father passed away and am still in morning... so I don't have much to add, however i did put your post in to its own thread for better exposure from other wonderful, helpful and knowledgeable members....
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Old 09-16-2013, 02:11 AM   #3
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Default Re: ...very long battle dealing with my

Oh thank you! So sorry to hear about your father. I understand.

---------- Post added at 01:11 AM ---------- Previous post was at 12:38 AM ----------

I had sent a message under the contact us tab below. Let me know if that is the way to get you a message. Sorry, still trying to figure this all out. Thanks.
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Old 09-16-2013, 03:33 PM   #4
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Default Re: ...very long battle dealing with my

i wish i had a better understanding of the laws so i could help you. i just wanted to tell you welcome to SFV and you are NOT alone. it does sound like you have a long battle ahead of you, but i'm glad that you are standing up for yourself and doing the best that you can to secure a future for yourself and your children.

my state has sliding scale attorneys through legal aid, i'm not sure if texas has something like that? the american bar association has a resource page for all states, if you go here: http://www.americanbar.org/groups/de...te_income.html

scroll down to the texas portion...
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Old 09-16-2013, 09:21 PM   #5
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Default Re: ...very long battle dealing with my

I can help you get your ducks in a row if you need me. Maybe LSL will come along and know if there is something you can file to get another court date. If you have all the right evidence, I don't think there is any way a judge would recomend that your older son go with his dad.

As far a common law, I never really pursued it. My ex called me his wife too and all that jazz. For me, it was easier to let all the stuff go than to deal with his abusive ___.
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Old 09-16-2013, 11:19 PM   #6
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Default Re: ...very long battle dealing with my

I went to legal aid today. Pretty unfulfilled. They are not prepared to give the kind of advice I need. I was hoping to get a referral to UT law department, no help. I have a general direction I to take this but what I really need is a lawyer. I don't know how I can raise the kind of money a good lawyer takes right now. I just want to pass school first. This all could not wait till I graduated?!?
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Old 09-22-2013, 11:58 AM   #7
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Default Re: ...very long battle dealing with my

I just wanted to thank you for helping me. Again, my condolences to you and your family.
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Old 09-22-2013, 03:38 PM   #8
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Default Re: ...very long battle dealing with my

just a thought...

maybe retain a lawyer for legal advise to guild you on how to do it yourself... not the ideal option but better than going it alone.

If a university is near, you could ask a student in their last year to help for legal help, or a legal assistant is another option. Good luck and keep us updated.

it does seem that when it rains, it pours... my life seems that way.
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