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Old 09-19-2014, 06:17 AM   #1
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Default I feel bad for asking for more....kinda

I'm not sure if this goes in here of the Military one but it has more to do with support so I'll give this one a shot.

I have twin boys that will be 3 in oct, I recently got Medically discharged from the Army, and their mom is still in but stationed in a different state. When I was in and making decent money she was giving me $600 a month but now that I'm a full time student and my only income is what the government pays me for using me G.I. Bill (which is geared toward a single person or a family with another income) I need more. At first she was fine and would just send what I needed but now every time I ask she comes up with these crazy questions like where is the money going? and how much can diapers and daycare really cost? I'm trying to stay civil, I understand my boys need their mother, she's not crazy she's not on drugs, I feel like both parents bring something to the table and if both are available both should be utilized. The last thing I want is for her to be mad at me and take it out on them but my gas light has been on so long I'm afraid the bulb is going to burn out. I guess I'm just kind of curious if anybody has been in the same boat. Is there a nice way to do this or do I have to bring her to court to ensure I get what we need?
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Old 09-19-2014, 09:34 AM   #2
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Default Re: I feel bad for asking for more....ki

Welcome...and it all depends on what your states calculator determines you should be getting for two children.
Actually, it might not even be that simple. It's more about which state has jurisdiction over matters concerning the children. I'm thinking whatever state you were in when you two broke up OR whatever state they live in now if you two were never officially together and then officially seperated...and you have lived there for at least 6 months.

Of course, I don't know this for sure...it's just what my experience tells me is the likely case.

If the calculator says you should be getting more then it would be worth your while to officially file for it. However, if she is paying regularly and the amount is at least as much as you would be getting anyway...then keeping the peace is worth a lot, too.

However, if she stops paying in a timely manner...file right away because your arrearages will only count back to when the CS claim was officially filed.
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Old 09-19-2014, 10:52 AM   #3
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Default Re: I feel bad for asking for more....ki

Jurisdiction - UIFSA governs but punts to UCCJEA to establish home state. The home state is the state in which the child has lived for the past six months.

You know, I believe you can go right to JAG who will develop it's own calculator and take it right from her check.

Child support is a business transaction. Unfortunately people get all personal and accusatory about it when they should not be. In my opinion, you just do it legally, by the calculator, and then it is not so personal.
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Old 09-19-2014, 12:05 PM   #4
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Default Re: I feel bad for asking for more....ki

Depending on her income, and yours, LSL is right, it is just a cold, hard mathematical formula.

Understand, though if you have chosen to become a full time student (which is understandable, better future for your family), you may be considered to be "voluntarily unemployed" (this can vary from state to state I think) and be imputed a full time minimum wage income.

I went a similar route and was imputed full time minimum wage income. Additionally they will consider your GI Bill income and hers compared to yours.

I don't know how it works specifically with the military though.
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Old 09-19-2014, 01:19 PM   #5
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Default Re: I feel bad for asking for more....ki

I can't add too much more than what has already been said, but I will say that it's easier to not have the checks cut to you. when it's 'business' and you go through the formal calculation process, it takes you both out of the personal transaction. usually the wages are garnished, goes into a third party account (on the state level, it's usually a state agency), and then the funds are dispersed to you.

this would then alleviate the questions, because it's all answered with the formula. keep in mind Cf's suggestions though.

good luck and you will get through this!
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Old 09-19-2014, 03:03 PM   #6
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Default Re: I feel bad for asking for more....ki

http://www.state.sc.us/dss/csed/calculator.htm

I found that through Google for a quick estimation.
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Old 09-19-2014, 08:52 PM   #7
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Default Re: I feel bad for asking for more....ki

Thanks for all your input,

I did call up this morning and Monday I will be filling, it's one more thing I'm going to have to stress about for now, but in the long run I hope it pays off.

Again thank you all, it's awesome how fast everyone replied and with very helpful answers.
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