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Old 01-26-2009, 02:27 PM   #1
amy1972
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Hello there. I am a single mom of one, have been divorced for about 2 years. Noticing lately how I no longer have a social life and wondering if anyone can relate. All my friends are married and it seems like they are most likely to hang out with other couples, if and when they go out or have people over. Basically I am feeling sorry for myself and wanted to vent to someone who may be able to relate...poor me ; )
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Old 01-26-2009, 03:01 PM   #2
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Wecome to the cyber social life!!!

You'll find lots of people here who can relate. This is a great place to vent. Look forward to getting to know you.
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Old 01-26-2009, 04:52 PM   #3
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Thanks!!
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Old 01-26-2009, 10:34 PM   #4
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Welcome---

I think this is something that all single parents deal with that are not in a relationship or dating. You start looking around and have a hard time feeling like you fit in because you have no husband and your challanges are very different.

I know when my friends are complaining about their husbands, I sometimes think the complaints are just petty because they are so lucky to have men who love them and are great dads.

So, you are not alone. Far from it.......
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Old 01-27-2009, 05:47 PM   #5
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Thanks for the message, I start to get annoyed with my friends and then try to remember that they don't know what I'm going through and they have their own issues to deal with! Some days are just harder than others.
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Old 01-28-2009, 04:57 AM   #6
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We've all been or are in the dating doldrums here..... so join the club!

Funny isn't it, how one's married/living together/in a steady relationship friends always avoid asking a single parent out on a social do, hmm, maybe they think it's catching.... or afraid you may run off with their man!!!
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Old 02-01-2009, 04:54 PM   #7
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it really surprised me, because these people have been my friends before I ever got married...maybe you're right, maybe they think it's catchy ; )
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Old 03-18-2009, 06:00 AM   #8
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My daughters mother and I settled everything on our own without going to court. She got a great deal! I gave her everything including the new vehicle that was just paid off. All the furniture and electronics just about everything. If we went to court I would have had to pay her about 220.00 a week. Instead she agreed on a 100.00. In return I get 50% custody. My concern is that once I actually hand her the title to the vehicle and few other things are finalized she is going to turn around and bring me to court. Do you think I am better off bringing her to court. Let's say a judge rules in favor of the 50/50 custody about how much will I have to pay her a week? Would it be more than a hundred or less than?
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Old 03-18-2009, 09:10 AM   #9
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http://www4.egov.nh.gov/DHHS_calculator/calc_form.asp

http://supportguidelines.com/links.html

Not that these will be exact but a good starting point to help.
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Old 03-18-2009, 10:34 AM   #10
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Originally Posted by sargtjas View Post
My daughters mother and I settled everything on our own without going to court. She got a great deal! I gave her everything including the new vehicle that was just paid off. All the furniture and electronics just about everything. If we went to court I would have had to pay her about 220.00 a week. Instead she agreed on a 100.00. In return I get 50% custody. My concern is that once I actually hand her the title to the vehicle and few other things are finalized she is going to turn around and bring me to court. Do you think I am better off bringing her to court. Let's say a judge rules in favor of the 50/50 custody about how much will I have to pay her a week? Would it be more than a hundred or less than?
Don gave you some good links. In addition, go to your state's child support website as they have a calculator as well.....

Couple things to consider: was this a verbal agreement between you two only---or are you going to file something with the court? If it is a verbal agreement only, I am not sure that that is the wisest thing to do.....she could go at you a year from now and then get back child support as well. Also, if it is just verbal, she could yank the child from visiting you at any time or vice versa. Better to have everything signed off in the courts so that there is an order to enforce, if need be.

However, if you are going to formalize this in the courts together, then I don't see anything wrong with this. Also, please know that there is legal custody [decisions about religion, education, health issues] and parenting time [how much time the child spends with each parent].....so spell that out.
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Old 03-18-2009, 08:03 PM   #11
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Hello,

I'm the 33yo single father of a 14yo boy. A spent a few years, trying to create a social life as a younger single parent in Mass.

I'd moved here with my wife, and didn't know anyone when she moved out. I couldn't move as little Bobby needed to stay near his mother. When working most of the time and parenting the rest, it was really hard to get out and meet people. The best things for me, turned out to be single parent groups and dating.

If you go to meetup.com, you can find a few groups for single parents (also under divorced). They have events where everyone might take their kids somewhere together (skiing, camping, museums, etc) and they have events without kids. I've met a few people through Single Parent sites on the Internet too (like this one).

Dating was also a way to get out of the house. There's plenty of guys who wouldn't mind going out with a woman who didn't have the intentions beyond that fun night out. Plenty would be would be particularly understanding, since you're newly divorced.

Heh...I could name a bunch of things that didn't work...

Hope this helps, and welcome to the site.

Later,
Bobby
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Old 12-30-2009, 10:56 PM   #12
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Default Re: new here - social life? what's that?

Hey there, your post is the very reason I searched for a site for support! It agree and can vent with you, it's very hard. I have found myself spending way too much time on dating sites when I think, in fact, I should be focusing on volunteering, making new friends, or perhaps a new sport. Hmmmmmmmm
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Old 12-31-2009, 06:37 AM   #13
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Default Re: new here - social life? what's that?

I found that if you focus on yourself and kids, and learn to love you again, all just falls into place.
But this support group is the best, with great people all whom know and understand about the NOT getting out.
Plus you can use here as a way to exercise getting the healthy social muscle working again.
And Welcome Michelle312 glad you found us...
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Old 04-13-2010, 12:38 PM   #14
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Default Re: new here - social life? what's that?

omg i can so much i am a single parent of two and the left for college and i dont know wht to do
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