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Old 12-13-2012, 11:45 PM   #1
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Default It's time to change church's

Ugggh. I have NOT wanted to do this. I don't make friends well. I am not extroverted initially with people...and I just didn't want to. But, I just can't stay where I am anymore. The ex's dad being an elder and part of the finance committee just makes me cringe, having the ex, his wife and his parents there makes me want to skulk out the back door. Her parents are there too. I used to sing on praise team, and was really enjoying being part of my church till he came back, and now that going to a different service isn't feasable for reasons tied to the kids...it's time to move on. Looking at changing the kids too. :/ My daughter won't be happy. Pray that we all transition smoothly. It'll happen in January when I'm back from my parents.
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Old 12-14-2012, 12:34 AM   #2
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Default Re: It's time to change church's

I'm sorry to hear this, change is always scary, but sounds like this one will end very positively.

How are you doing? You've been quiet about ending it with R, but hoping that is because you are so confident in it and hoping not sad???? You ok?
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Old 12-14-2012, 12:41 AM   #3
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Default Re: It's time to change church's

Yeah...I'm fine. Thanks for asking. I never had that "totally could be the one" feeling. His communication sucked (like, sucked beyond sucky)...and that was really hard for me. So, yeah...not really sad, just feel like I'm letting my kids down in so many ways. He is/was really good to them...and me, but it just wasn't meant to be. I'm just having a down period right now. It was Thanksgiving, 4 years ago, that I learned the ex was cheating. By Dec. 1st I was in my apartment. Just feeling blah this year...and the holidays are really kicking it bad.

And the church thing has been impending for 6ish months.
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Old 12-14-2012, 07:21 AM   #4
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Default Re: It's time to change church's

Hang in there Lady!!

Feel ya on the church thing! The kids church is their dads/grandparents church. 9 yrs of picking them up on Wed's I went a couple times when they were younger...but those people never knew me or who I am. Plus, they are a "clicky" church. I never fit in with clicks. I was the kid who beat up the clicky kids for picking on people less...privelaged?.(its early, im half asleep still)
I always was one to root for the underdog

As for R. Ive been thinking of you. I never took T and I's picture out that second go. He didnt shower here like he use to. Still, its the ba-humbug holidays....sucks! And it dumb butts Xmas Which puts me home alone.
Its more about the effort and time we gave it. Only for someone to not give it the same respect.
Kids-your not letting your kids down. Your trying to be sure you bring someone into your life that will be a benefit, an added plus for all involved. It cant just be for us, and it cant just be for the kids.
Love you!!
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Old 12-14-2012, 07:50 AM   #5
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Default Re: It's time to change church's

I found church one of the hardest things to adjust to. "We" would walk through those doors as a couple.....then a somewhat broken family did.....and I felt so conspicuous. Even though the ex did not attend, just that feeling was awful, so imagining what it is like with your exs family all there is awful! I hope the change goes smoothly.
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Old 12-14-2012, 11:25 AM   #6
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Default Re: It's time to change church's

Hard thing. I get it though. Sounds like a fresh start is just what you need though.
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Old 12-14-2012, 01:35 PM   #7
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Default Re: It's time to change church's

Yeah....actually, Muskie, it wasn't as bad before cause I was the one who stuck it out. I didn't tuck my tail between my legs like I had done wrong, he did. And now, I just feel so out of place. I'm surrounded by them all....they sit on one side of the building; I sit on the other. My friends are all on my side of the building. :/ I don't want to be the source of division in a church family.
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Old 12-16-2012, 06:56 AM   #8
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Default Re: It's time to change church's

Wow... I never thought about the idea of being with someone as a couple and then it ends and how your church and church family is impacted..... Just keep praying, and keep your head up in the meantime.
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Old 12-06-2014, 12:35 AM   #9
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Default Re: It's time to change church's

Keep ur chest out and handle it!
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