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Old 08-05-2017, 05:51 PM   #1
Aloneforever Female
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beg or prayer Problem Ex

We have a 15 year history. When we first got together he already had 3 daughters by his first marriage. They were with us every weekend. We had a son together. Just before our son turned 2 he walked out. He fell in love with another woman. Problem was she had lost her kids to the state because of drugs. I told him that she could not be around my son. For the next 9 years by his choice he did not see our son or talk to him. After he had 2 heart attacks and divorced his wife, he looked for us. He said there was a reason god let him live. As the months went by he wanted to try at a relationship again. After a lot of soul searching and laying the ground rules we tried again. 7 months ago he started drinking heavy and cheating on me again. I prayed to god to help him. He is the type of person who will not admit he does anything wrong. The end of June I kicked him out. He still refuses to admit what he did and he will not help with his son in the form of child support. My son is 12 now. He was talking to his dad the other night and told him that he will never be a disrespecting alcoholic like his dad. He said I guess you are not man enough to admit you did wrong.
I don't want my son to hate his dad. I'm trying to get him to understand his dad loves him but he has some problems he needs to get fixed. Should I find some counseling for my son?
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Old 08-06-2017, 01:03 AM   #2
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Default Re: Problem Ex

Short answer. Yes. Any child of a divorced family will need it to some extent. And add alcohol ... yes.

I don't know which is worse, a child hating a parent or a child feeling sorry for them.
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Old 08-21-2017, 12:08 PM   #3
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Default Re: Problem Ex

Hi There and Welcome to our little corner of insanity!

I agree with Dad1st on getting him counseling, but I will add one more item that should help him. A peer support group. Al-a-teen which is the kids version of Alanon. It's for the survivors of the broken families and aftermath of alcoholics.

He needs to figure out what to make of his father on his own so the best thing you can do is try to avoid any negative talk about him in front of the kid and just try to explain that some people just make bad choices in life.

Again, Welcome to SFV!
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