|03-15-2017, 09:49 AM||#1|
On the Board
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 69Rep Power: 0
Support / Advice
I posted this in the Dad's portion as well, but wanted to get some mom's advice as well. If it's not ok to post in two spots, please take down, sorry.
I was on about three years ago when I was going through a custody battle with my ex. Long story short, I have primary physical and tie breaking legal custody of my five year old daughter. I'm a 35 year old single guy.
The reason I received primary is because she settled out of court, she waited till the night before court to settle. In out agreement my daughter visits her and her grandparents house every other weekend, and her parents are supposed to be present the entire visit to supervise.
My daughter started Pre-K this year and her mom is reasonable for two Fridays a month of getting her to school, she lives an hour from the school, but knew school would be in my county when agreement was signed. My daughter has missed 6 out of the last 7 Fridays that her mom has been responsible for transportation. I also recently found out she got her second DUI in a three month span, hasn't even been to court for the first one and got a second one. She has a long standing issue with alcohol and after her first DUI, I asked her parents who are supposed to be supervising to do all transportation, they agreed but I found out they haven't been and her mom has been driving her. She lives at home, and has no car, so she has gotten two DUIs in her parents car and they continue to let her drive. Yet I'm supposed to trust them to supervise my daughter's visit?
So I filed for a full on modification, and made her an offer of if she goes to inpatient things can stay the same, if not I'm going to ask for state supervised visitation till she gets the help she needs. I talked to a therapist first and showed her all the off the wall texts, abd she confirmed she has substance issues abd I am doing the correct thing, that it's hard to take my daughter from her but if anything happened to her I'd never forgive myself.
Has anyone else been through this?
My lawyer helped me file modification papers and I denied her last weekend visit till we come to agreement or our court date which isn't scheduled yet.
1) am I doing the right thing protecting my daughter even though it means her not seeing her mom? I've always tried to be the better person between the two of us but I cant look passed her drinking anymore with two DUIs in three months and her still driving.
2) opening full modification means she can request more time then she gets if she counter files, which she will, I've supported my daughter fincially 100% since she was born with no help. Her mom is going to ask for more time and for me to give her money. That scares the ____ out of me. She has been with me primarily for over three years and goes to school in my county, but I'm the dad and scared of her mom getting more time and me having to pay her money when she has never supported her at all and lives at home.
Her mom has three other kids from two different dads as well, and their dads are in similar situations with custody as I am.
I work so hard for my daughter to have a good life with school, sports, piano, friends, etc she isn't involved at all but now wants to fight for custody after getting two DUIs.
Any advice, pep talks, telling me I did the right thing? Something to calm my nerves?
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