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Old 07-29-2011, 03:27 AM   #1
larisa Female
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Default 11yrs now/Things calm/Ready-2-date/how??

Although my ex still does everything (or nothing) to to make caring for my kids extremely difficult, I am finally at a point that I can put him aside in my mind (50% of the time!)- I'd love to know how to start opening my heart and head up just to meet someone that may be a companion. Where do I go? How do I find someone?
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Old 07-29-2011, 10:07 AM   #2
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Default Re: 11yrs now/Things calm/Ready-2-date/h

50%? That's alot, but I assume that's just cause you have to deal with him about the kids frequently?

Anyway, I believe that the best way to move on and be open to new people is to open yourself up to new adventures.
Is there something you really love to do....idk, anything....you could join a book club, make ceramics, hike, learn to ride a horse.... Whatever floats your boat.
Yeah, you could learn to sail!

Anyway, in the course of doing this you will satisfy deeper stuff in yourself and will also meet new people...who will know even more new people...and so on and so on....until you meet the right new person.

Even if you don't, you will still have spent many fufilling hours/days/years just the same. :-)

Oh, look here: http://www.meetup.com/find/
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Old 10-10-2011, 06:29 PM   #3
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Default Re: 11yrs now/Things calm/Ready-2-date/h

Meeting new people is something that is kind of dependent of your surrounding area. Hobbies are a great place to start, along with any social events in your area. Think of the things that you enjoy doing (reading, crafting, singing, dancing) and try to think of social activities that include something you enjoy. Maybe different music festivals, libraries, coffee shops. Live music has always been the best treat for me. Volunteer service in your community is also a pretty biggy. My only suggestion is don't be shy, you can meet new people in your every day life if you're ballsy enough!

I probably wasn't much help, but good luck dear! I wish you the absolute best!
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Old 10-12-2011, 12:00 PM   #4
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Default Re: 11yrs now/Things calm/Ready-2-date/h

Wow, you go girl! It's amazing that you've devoted 11 years to your kids without a supportive partner. Now it's time for you, bring it on. That's how I feel and I've only been separated for two and a bit years!

I can't give you any tips as I'm only just thinking about that romance road myself, and it all seems extremely daunting to be honest (not to mention icky). But the others have you given great advice, particularly about starting a new hobby or picking up an old one - and as Bluemoon says, you'll be having fun anyway and (re)discovering yourself, whether it involves a new love or not.

Dancing's my passion, it brings me alive, simple as that - so this year's project is to find myself a regular source of it. What's your passion, Larisa?
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Old 10-12-2011, 05:08 PM   #5
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Default Re: 11yrs now/Things calm/Ready-2-date/h

I agree 100% with the others. That is what you have to do.

But it also comes down to you, yourself, and how you carry yourself and your demeanor. You could be out doing the socialist of social things, but if you have that "don't approach me or I'm terrified of this vibe," you probably won't get approached. Even if you approach others, just be careful your body language isn't sending the wrong messages. You have been out of the dating game for awhile now, it is only normal for it to take awhile for you to get comfortable and be able to put yourself out there in the right state of mind. So just be conscious of your body language and the messages you are sending to others. The most confident and self-assured woman always gets approached the most, men can smell those pheramones from a mile away! Good luck =)
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Old 12-17-2011, 09:52 AM   #6
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Default Re: 11yrs now/Things calm/Ready-2-date/h

First of find out the take away from your ex. Good and bad qualities. Listen to the things that you have contributed to the relationship. Be honest with yourself and new people that you meet. Don't talk about your situation on a first date, just enjoy talking about anything. Dating starts with being emotionally available. Try causal flirting with someone at a coffe shop, grocery store, etc (eye contact and smile). Get your confidence back and you will attract plenty of guys
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