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Old 08-16-2015, 11:54 PM   #1
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Default Needing advice

Ok so here is my story: I just got my son back from him mom for the school year. All summer long my son has been saying how much he hates me. Now that he is back he doesn't seem to want to have anything to do with me. I have a fiancé and we have been together for about 2 years and my son has been with us for that timeframe. Now my son is claiming that he is uncomfortable around her. How do I get my son not to act like this?
Any help would be greatly appreciated.
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Old 08-17-2015, 04:21 AM   #2
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Default Re: Needing advice

I highly suggest your son go to counseling. Sounds as if mom is working on parental alienation. That needs professional help.
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Old 08-17-2015, 07:44 AM   #3
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Default Re: Needing advice

We will be going to counseling real soon. I figured that it wouldn't hurt to get us doing that again it sort of seemed to help.
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Old 08-17-2015, 02:23 PM   #4
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Default Re: Needing advice

yes, counseling ASAP!!! How old is he?

And...don't combat him...accept his feelings for now, let him state them in a neutral tone. i.e. everyone is allowed to have their feelings, but you are not allowed to x, y, z (say rude things, slam doors, etc.).

then SHOW him (rather than tell him) about how your house is upbeat, positive, safe.

I highly recommend the book _Divorce Poison_--there's strategies to help you combat the negative influence that might have been happening over the summer. hang in there!
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Old 08-17-2015, 03:15 PM   #5
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Default Re: Needing advice

My son is 9 years old. We have been to counseling before and it does seem to help, not as much as I would like it seems.
Some days are better than others.
Right now my fiancé and her 5 year old don't want to spend any time with us because of how he treats everyone.
Any hints on that?
Thanks for all the help! I'll look into getting that book
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Old 08-17-2015, 10:14 PM   #6
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Default Re: Needing advice

I'm glad you're getting him into counseling, that will help!!

As for getting the kids together--maybe you guys could all do something (rather than just be one-on-one, or in this case two-on-two at the house)...somewhere public like the beach, or a swimming pool, or a fair or something public? maybe that would help? so the focus is on the activity, rather than on each other...?

good luck and definitely find a therapist to work with your son!!
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Old 08-17-2015, 10:54 PM   #7
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Default Re: Needing advice

Look for a counselor that does attachment theory work. Cbt is not going to help. Your son needs to learn why he is mad. And then deal with it.

Counseling is the only thing that is going to help. It does not sound like your son is in a position to be helped until he works through his feelings.
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Old 08-17-2015, 11:40 PM   #8
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Default Re: Needing advice

Ok so we have taken the kids to several amusement parks, aquariums, and beaches all with limited success. It's not for the lack of trying on our parts, but it could be due to the fact that we don't currently live together...
I'll ask Thursday if they can do attachment theory....
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Old 03-17-2016, 03:49 PM   #9
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Default Re: Needing advice

What's happen with your son ?
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Old 03-17-2016, 03:50 PM   #10
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Default Re: Needing advice

Are he change his behavior?
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Old 03-17-2016, 03:51 PM   #11
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Default Re: Needing advice

And are the counselor help him?
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