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Old 10-31-2011, 10:49 PM   #1
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humm Couple of things...

The fatherthing exercised his right to counsel last child support contempt hearing. Makes me so angry!!! Doesn't the system realize this is just a game to some parents! When he shows back up with no counsel, they should slap him with all the arrears! I get so fed up being the only parent that cares enough to be responsible for my kids! And thats the key, right there, I care enough!!!
Two, my boyfriend's ex-wife is separating from her husband. She re-married maybe a month after signing divorce papers. Can't help but wonder what joys this is going to bring. She's a nice lady, and we get along. Never been cross or rude to me in anyway. But my BF has a very soft heart where his kids are concerned (part of the reason I care for him, I have "daddy" issues, so a good dad really intrigues me), and she knows that, if you know what I mean.
Three, my Best friend since high school became an instant mom approximately 1.5yrs ago, when her dope head sister decided to abandon her girls. I have known them for about twenty years. I love her sister like I would my sister. But she always says she is going to get clean, suppost to enter long term therapy. But tonight, she broke a needle in her neck. WTF?? Again, what is wrong with people?? If you could see these girls....I don't understand how anyone can be so......passive..... when it comes to kids. ESPECIALLY their own!!! She used to be the career, school woman and me the busy mom. Now she is the busy mom, and I am the career college woman. I do believe all this has been a blessing in disguise thou, because my best friend is doing such a WONDERFUL job with those girls!!! You can see the happiness in not only their eyes, but hers as well! But I still cant be around when her little sister is cause I just want to beat the ____ out of her!
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Old 10-31-2011, 11:17 PM   #2
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Default Re: Couple of things...

Wow, you've got a lot going on! Hugs!

Don't make the BF thing a self fulfilling prophecy but don't turn a blind eye either. The best friend, I don't blame you, I don't think I could tolerate the mom. So happy for those children they have a stable adult.
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Old 10-31-2011, 11:29 PM   #3
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Default Re: Couple of things...

I'm with Dig, stop thinking so much and just keep living. What will happen will happen and it may surprise you. THe more you decide it will be a negative, well you know!

I'm confused, did your friend hurt herself or her sister? This is awful. My good neighbor friend's sister was admitted to the local mental health hospital this weekend after months of her trying to talk her down. What an awful situation, she's catatonic at this point and looking at shock therapy. M heard some of it from the "neighbor friend" and I've been doing a LOT of talking and explaining. Mental illness sucks and the things they will do make no sense to us. If they had cancer, it would be a much easier to understand situation, but when it is the mind it is so hard to see and we are so quick to judge...there is always a lot of suffering going on, much more than we could ever understand!
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Old 10-31-2011, 11:34 PM   #4
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Default Re: Couple of things...

My favorite Sociologist Willliam Thomas-Definition of the Situation " When one defines a situation as real, it then becomes real in it's consequences". I know. Ironic thou, one reason they are separating is because he "developed" a relationship (friendship), with another female...as far as I know. I told my boyfriend how that can always make a woman wonder, he agreed. And he has a female groupie at work! And sometimes, that makes me wonder...I am not the happiest in love right now, for various reasons.
There are kids involved, and that always makes it harder. But his kids don't seem to care because the guy was never really involved with them anyways.
Yes, I am very proud of my friend! I can't say enough how wonderful she is doing. I cant even imagine, 37, never being a mom, and suddenly being thrown into it!!!! Im having trouble, and I have been doing it for (added all together, cause lets face it, their all different), 37 years!!
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Old 10-31-2011, 11:36 PM   #5
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Default Re: Couple of things...

When we examine our own lives and look at others' lives, there is almost always a lot to be thankful for!

Sounds like you are not sure about your current relationship, not fully trusting, that's a difficult place to be!
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Old 10-31-2011, 11:47 PM   #6
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Default Re: Couple of things...

You know that "feeling" we get sometimes....well. Our lives, even after 3 yrs, are not very intermingled. Im very busy with 3 jobs, 3 kids, and 5 classes; and he is very content....with me being very busy.
And I am very thankful!!! Mornings I really dont want to get out of bed and work two jobs, go to classes, and then come home to more work, I remind myself, there are a lot of people out of work right now, my kids are healthy (still awaiting something there, but, for now), and I can "mostly" pay my bills. People think I am crazy because I like to pay bills! When they ask why, I say "Because I can!"
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Old 10-31-2011, 11:54 PM   #7
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Default Re: Couple of things...

I love that line about paying bills! Living with such a wonderful code of ethics is to be admired......and people like my ex will despise you for it LOL
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Old 11-01-2011, 01:07 AM   #8
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Default Re: Couple of things...

Its the little things Muskie! Like setting your alarm on a weekend, just so you can roll over, and say (input bad words here) to that damn alarm clock for once! hehe

---------- Post added 11-01-2011 at 12:07 AM ---------- Previous post was 10-31-2011 at 11:58 PM ----------

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Originally Posted by Re-Mom View Post
I'm with Dig, stop thinking so much and just keep living. What will happen will happen and it may surprise you. THe more you decide it will be a negative, well you know!

I'm confused, did your friend hurt herself or her sister? This is awful. My good neighbor friend's sister was admitted to the local mental health hospital this weekend after months of her trying to talk her down. What an awful situation, she's catatonic at this point and looking at shock therapy. M heard some of it from the "neighbor friend" and I've been doing a LOT of talking and explaining. Mental illness sucks and the things they will do make no sense to us. If they had cancer, it would be a much easier to understand situation, but when it is the mind it is so hard to see and we are so quick to judge...there is always a lot of suffering going on, much more than we could ever understand!
Not the first time I have been told to stop thinking so much! Thats funny!
My friends sister (sorry, anxious to start homework, typed fast), who is suppost to be cleaning herself up, broke a needle in her own neck. I dont feel for her because I am of the opinion we make our own decisions. She stuck that needle in her arm the first time, no-one did it for her! It is tearing her mother up, and my friend is raising her two beautiful daughters now and doing a WONDERFUL job! Good news is that my friend got legal custody...mmmm..6 months ago maybe. Their mother only see's them supervised. I went for the oldest girls 2yr birthday, and the mother came by-high as a kite-I was so mad! But it wouldn't have done any good to say anything because she WAS so high. I have known the family for 20yrs, so this really bugs me!
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Old 11-12-2011, 03:28 AM   #9
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Default Re: Couple of things...

You made is great for them. No wonder they were now happy.
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Old 11-12-2014, 10:29 PM   #10
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Default Re: Couple of things...

Saw a guest reading this thread this morning and wanted to update a bit.

The friend that got a needle broke off in her neck, well, she has completely turned herself around.
That was a turning point for her. She's been clean for 2 yrs now (anniversary was last Friday I believe).

I asked her one day at what point did she realize where she was, where she was heading, what she was doing? It was that moment. She was in the hospital and realized she may die.
She said she prayed. Asked forgiveness. Voluntarily went into a rehab center for 8 months or so, give or take a few.

I am amazed by this lady. She has become....so driven. And seems to be the leader of her old group to straighten up as I see that a lot are following in her footsteps of those she use to hang out with. She disassociated herself of course. But I see a few of them cleaning up as well via FB.

She is so dedicated to her girls, the ones she abandoned for drugs. She's has always had a very strong, stable support system. And to watch her now, to see how she is with her girls, it's just amazing.
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Old 11-12-2014, 11:39 PM   #11
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Default Re: Couple of things...

Wonderful news WS. Too often we hear of the sad ending stories.......this is a good ending!
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Old 11-12-2014, 11:51 PM   #12
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Default Re: Couple of things...

It's been amazing to witness. Really. She was using some of the hard drugs, mostly meth. Had a Rx problem too.
But all has changed. She's almost done with her Associates degree. Got her teeth fixed. Off probation. Has had a job for some time now. And to see her interact with her girls...
Not sure if she got custody back yet. Her sister, my bff, asked my advice last Christmas and I gave it. So not sure where that stands. But it is just amazing.
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Old 11-13-2014, 01:30 PM   #13
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Default Re: Couple of things...

wow, that is so heartwarming, WS. it really is. people CAN change, and it seems like a miracle. i'm so glad she turned her life around. what an inspiring and uplifting story.
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