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Old 05-23-2016, 05:51 PM   #1
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Default Pregnant- placing baby for adoption

Im 28 weeks pregnant. I already have a daughter who is fatherless. I just don't think I can do it again. It's been impossible to decide, every day I'm back and forth. But I think adoption is right...I'm just having a hard time accepting it.

Does anyone know agency is best? Is there anything I should look out for?

Also, I can't find many stories of birth others who are satisfied with their decision to place their baby for adoption. I don't think it's because satisfied birth mothers aren't out there but that maybe they're just not as forthcoming with their having a positive outlook on it all...is anyone content with their decision? I still haven't bonded with my son. I keep having dreams I'm getting killed or I have to kill someone in self-defense.

I don't want to have another baby alone again. But everyone tells me I'll regret giving him up when I'm financially stable. What's your opinion?
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Old 05-24-2016, 08:42 AM   #2
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Default Re: Pregnant- placing baby for adoption

You must make the decision, no one can tell you what to do. The biggest decision you can make after that one is to use protection to keep this from happening again since you cannot handle it. I am not judging, I am just giving advice. Good luck.
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Old 05-24-2016, 10:24 AM   #3
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Default Re: Pregnant- placing baby for adoption

Oh my boyfriend wanted to have a child together, before he abandoned us, so it wasn't actually an accident. It's funny, you always hear, "if he loves you, he'll show it...you won't have to wonder." Well sometimes, apparently, they're psychopaths and the tears and grandiose gestures of love and good faith are all an act, and there are actually several other women he's actively trying to impregnate at the same time. This man, who persued me for two years, who was the sweetest boyfriend for one year...I have no idea who he really is, except that he is a monster and he ruined my life. I practiced celibacy before indulging in his "promises" so I know you don't mean to sound as judgmental as you do, but you're advice on birth control is not relevant to my life. You can say celibacy is a form of birth control which I should "use to keep this from happening again because I cannot handle it," but it wasn't an accident like I said. I didn't forget to pop my celibacy pill.

If you have experience with adoption, I'd love your advice, thanks.
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Old 05-26-2016, 10:07 PM   #4
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Default Re: Pregnant- placing baby for adoption

what about open adoption? Maybe that would ease your mind because you could still be part of your child's life without walking away?

I don't think anyone is being judgemental. I think it's just meant more as a cautionary tale to not count on having the other party stick around. I know that is sad to think, but the fantasy of making the baby and the family always sounds good, it's just that people talk the talk, but then they don't walk they walk.... they just walk out.

I wish you the best. You have a tough decision. No judgement here. We do have forum members who were adopted and they harbor no ill will to their biological parents. Keeps surfing the forum. The answers will come in time.
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