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Old 05-20-2016, 09:00 AM   #1
Nicole86 Female
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secret Everyday struggle

I was always feel so bad for my 13yr old son every single time I think of all he's been through. After his father and I split up, his father was in and out of his life. Came around or called only when he felt like it. Even when we would try to include his dad in functions/celebrations we had, he would usually show up drunk. Then from Kinder until the 5th grade he had so much behavior problems in school and I always thought it was because of his dad not being around. Then thought it was because when he was 7yrs old I was in a new relationship and he got close to him and about a year after having my second child, I became a single parent again. Years and years of wondering how I could help my son get through whatever he was going through only to finally find out he has ADHD. He's been on meds since then and it has been extremely helpful, but I do still feel like he wishes he had a better relationship with his dad. Majority of the time he doesn't like speaking to him and at one point got so upset with me when I suggested him living with his dad for awhile because he just was not respecting me and following my rules. His exact words were "Why would you even think of having me go there when you know he always drinks?!" I've expressed concerns with his father and have even suggested he get help for it so that they can work on their father son relationship but he doesn't seem to think he has a problem. Sometimes I wonder if it's too late for them to have that type of relationship. Anyone else going through or has gone through this?
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Old 05-20-2016, 09:00 AM   #2
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Default Re: Everyday struggle

**excuse the typos**
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Old 05-21-2016, 06:37 PM   #3
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Default Re: Everyday struggle

At thirteen your need to take your son's feelings into consideration, but he also needs to respect you and the rules of your house. Sending him off with drunk dad isn't the answer. Maybe therapy is a better choice or modification of his meds or re-evaluation of his ADD would be more productive.
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Old 05-21-2016, 07:01 PM   #4
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Default Re: Everyday struggle

I agree. At the time that I had mentioned him going to stay with his dad for awhile I was in a position where I felt I didn't know what else to do. I also did not know he felt so strongly about his dad. Since that time I have completely thrown that thought out the window and would never suggest it again. He has seen a therapist twice and we are working on scheduling visits at least once a week. He also tends to bottle things up so I'm really hoping therapy will help him.
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Old 06-29-2016, 04:16 AM   #5
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Default Re: Everyday struggle

Hi, We are in the same story. Please pardon my grammar as I am not that good in English. My daughter was also diagnosed with ADHD and she is 8 years old. I am trying to call his dad because i was thinking that perhaps it is the solution with her attitude. But then, there are father that is not really worried with the condition of their child. That is my point of view with my ex. Anyway, please try to explain to your son that it is not his fault and dont get mad with his father. I do not tolerate the hatred of my daughter with her father, I am always explaining to her that she shouldn't get mad with her father.
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