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Old 02-16-2013, 09:08 PM   #1
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Default My strong willed 5yr old

So, my D is 5 and well, very strong willed. Very independent. This past week we have been having some issues that I am not sure how to deal with.

At school she is acting out at "nap time". She is supposed to lay still, not disturb her friends and hopefully sleep. When being corrected by her teachers she gets mad and throws pillows etc across the room and tells them flat out "NO".

This is not normal for her.

She is reacting the same way at home. I ask her to clean her room. She says "NO" and then when I try to ask her about why she is having such a strong reaction she shuts down. She says she doesn't want to talk about it. She runs away. And she won't talk about it.

What is going on???? Why can't I get her to talk to me?
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Old 02-16-2013, 09:17 PM   #2
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Default Re: My strong willed 5yr old

Do you sit with her while she cleans? Just a thought. My kids act different if I sit upstairs and talk with them while they clean. And Im close enough to go "uh uh! Pick that up!"
I think the "No" is normal. But the elaboration of "I dont want to talk about it" makes me think she has something on her mind. If you can find the right time or environment, she'll hopefully spill it.
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Old 02-17-2013, 03:33 AM   #3
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Default Re: My strong willed 5yr old

Has anything in your life changed at all within the past week? Did you bring anything new into the home, anything new enter the classroom? Has her teacher been able to observe her for any unpleasant behavior from another student, regardless of how "insignificant" it may be considered? Has there been any recent "alone time" with someone she knows or doesn't know? I think you need to start looking at every conceivable possibility. Children don't just act out at random, there is always a trigger and you need to think back to anything that may have changed or occurred within the past week.
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Old 02-17-2013, 06:46 PM   #4
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Default Re: My strong willed 5yr old

There hasn't been much of anything different happening. Nothing new in our home. I have tried sitting with her, and yes that works, but sometimes I don't have time to sit with her the entire time. I have the whole house to clean! I try to give her one task at a time, like pick up all the books, ok, not put everything back in your kitchen, etc.

I got her to talk a bit last night, and she said the boys in her class were picking on her because her dad lives far away. So I am going to talk to her teacher again about it and bring in a book about having 2 homes. I know her teacher grew up with divorced parents so maybe she can help.
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Old 02-17-2013, 06:51 PM   #5
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Default Re: My strong willed 5yr old

Is she saying she doesn't want to talk about it because she doesn't want to talk about it or because she really can't organize her feelings into words... I'm sort of thinking that may be part of it. I also think she could be mimicking something she heard (not a bad thing to hear "I don't want to talk about it")

Oh I just read that last post of your. Yes, talk to the teacher. Hopefully, this is just some new ground for her and that smart as a whip little 5 yr old of yours will figure out how to manage it all (and honestly if I were those boys I would not mess with your little girlLOL)

Depending upon what comes out of talking to teachers, she may do well with a little therapy, it sure won't hurt... the little lady has dealt with a lot of changes.
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Old 02-17-2013, 07:04 PM   #6
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Default Re: My strong willed 5yr old

She kinda just seemed shy and awkward to tell me about it. I do think she could probably use some therapy, our ordeal is a lot to figure out.

It sounds like they just do it because they get a reaction out of her. She said they tease her and say things like "your dad is here to pick you up". She says "no he's not he lives in Vermont" and they say it again. You know they are all 4 & 5. No real logic going on. Hopefully the book will help. It is called "I have Two Homes".
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Old 02-17-2013, 10:41 PM   #7
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Default Re: My strong willed 5yr old

What a disgrace those two children are!! I think that type of behavior needs to be punished severely. That's horrible!! And as for sitting with her ... considering the pain she's experiencing....well, for me, the house waits. I would encourage you to turn a blind eye to the clutter if it gives her peace of mind and comfort to have you near her at this time, to see her through this awful early bullying.
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Old 09-27-2014, 11:36 AM   #8
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Default Re: My strong willed 5yr old

My 5 year old daughter is very strong willed. She won't even budge and I am at a lose what I need to do.
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