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Old 11-02-2013, 04:48 AM   #1
a lost mom Female
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Unhappy confused mom and son

long story short the last 2 years it has been a fight with my ex who is gettin married soon and wants the premade family and lies truths whatever he can get on me he reports me to cyfs. now we divorce for 8yrs and he needs 1 last time in the sack with me for closur just b4 he gets married. gross. i can handle his ____ but now he got my son to say to cyfs that i hit and starve him, this is very much a lie. the boy gets away with everything with me i call him my king and treats him as such so y would he do this? i dont get to talk to him till 8am and i up nite trying to figure it out. i will post more after i talk to him. i hope some1 is listening
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Old 11-02-2013, 09:44 AM   #2
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Default Re: confused mom and son

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long story short the last 2 years it has been a fight with my ex who is gettin married soon and wants the premade family and lies truths whatever he can get on me he reports me to cyfs. now we divorce for 8yrs and he needs 1 last time in the sack with me for closur just b4 he gets married. gross. i can handle his ____ but now he got my son to say to cyfs that i hit and starve him, this is very much a lie. the boy gets away with everything with me i call him my king and treats him as such so y would he do this? i dont get to talk to him till 8am and i up nite trying to figure it out. i will post more after i talk to him. i hope some1 is listening
Sorry you are dealing with all of this Lost mom. Ex's do ridiculous things often based on jealousy and control issues. There's not a lot of information there to go on but I hope things get better for you and your son very soon!
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Old 11-02-2013, 11:11 AM   #3
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Sorry you are dealing with all of this Lost mom. Ex's do ridiculous things often based on jealousy and control issues. There's not a lot of information there to go on but I hope things get better for you and your son very soon!
a bit ago my son had showed up, he is almost 10 and should know better. I questioned him i did not get mad or punish, i just wanted the turth, i got it, he says his dad was the one behind it all, that if he didnt do it he would lose his toys....i asked him if a mom is more importion to have or your toys<my ex 2cheap 2 throw it away,anyway] bottom line this is something i just cant let go. he will tell the truth when the other one comes for him. when i told him that if they really believed him, he would no longer be able to continue to see me, he started to cry. sad and get this it was only yesterday,i got home from hospital feeling good that got they knew the problem, a very rare rash that happens to those with crohns 2% out of anyone with IBS and higher in women then men. I just dont understand y my ex wants me pushed down at all times? i guess bc i wont slept him. he is gettin married in 9 days. so why all the mixed up ____? almost feeels like im losing my mind
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Old 11-02-2013, 01:32 PM   #4
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Default Re: confused mom and son

Sounds like your ex is being very manipulative. I think the best thing is to remind your son that honesty is what matters, all the time, no matter what people say or threaten. Hopefully the kid can recognize that. Also, 10 is not too young to teach him about manipulation and what it is.
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Old 11-02-2013, 02:13 PM   #5
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Default Re: confused mom and son

So sorry you are going through this.

I hope that now that your son understands the consequences of these kinds of accusations that he will be honest with the authorities.

I have to hope that they will see through your ex's manipulations....and they can prosecute for filing false charges, too. Good luck.
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Old 11-03-2013, 04:42 PM   #6
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Default Re: confused mom and son

well i just got him to tell his father the truth. it broke my heart, his dad is so mean and i know he will be badly punish for this. but i could not take the fall for something this serious. i can only hope that my boy will understand why i had to do this. im heatbroken over this and again im crying over it
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Old 11-04-2013, 10:43 AM   #7
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Default Re: confused mom and son

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well i just got him to tell his father the truth. it broke my heart, his dad is so mean and i know he will be badly punish for this. but i could not take the fall for something this serious. i can only hope that my boy will understand why i had to do this. im heatbroken over this and again im crying over it
Now I am very confused.
I thought Dad knew it was a lie, a lie that he, if fact, had convinced your son to tell. ?

Your son understands you had to do what? Expose the lie? Is there ever a time you would allow a lie that accused you of anything to go uncorrected?

Also, reading closer, there is this "King" thing. Your son is not the King. YOU need to be the Queen...a queen who loves her child very much but he is NOT higher in the social pecking order then you because if he is then he will not respect you.
Treating him like a king will not earn you his respect. It will earn you a place as his servent. Maybe a loved servent, but you will still be expected to cater to him rather than to be a parent who gets respect even when he doesn't like the rules or consequences.
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Old 11-04-2013, 12:23 PM   #8
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Default Re: confused mom and son

Our job is not to be our kids' best friend or to let them run the house. Kids need boundaries, limits, guidance and LOVE! I have seen where parents have never told their child no, or held to limits and the results are sad.
Our kids will do as we do, not as we tell them to do.
Go get help. Counseling, Parenting classes.

My ex called Child Protection here... it backfired on her when they included her in the investigation. I was exonerated. So was she, with a caution about keeping better tabs on DS4's diabetes when he's visiting her.
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Old 11-05-2013, 01:37 AM   #9
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Default Re: confused mom and son

I am so happy that i am able to see some mistakrs i might be making and the support that i am gettin, thank you so much. to reply to some of the conderns that i am hearing. 1st i have a very serious illness that sooner before later will take me away from here. I am doing my very best to make, help myself to the best i can be. that is where the king comes from i want every moment to be as wonderful as possiable for us both. but yes there are limts and if need be to be punished, I dont let him do everything he wants. but yes for some minor things i have taken the blame so his father dont go nuts over sumin so small. he is a very scarey mean man that needs help. it always brakes my heart to hear that he has been punished again, his dad has punished him for a crazy long time , example i dont remember what it was but nuttin that bad he lost his video games for a year now. and as for confronting him about it he says he had nothing to do with it, though when the s worker came to question me over, i was told it was him that called. i just really wish to know why my son would say such things? when i ask its always dad made me do it so he would not lose his toys. i honstly dont know what to do or say or believe. what i do feel is alot of hurt. for what reason i dont know i have always had to take the hardest way and if i get any kind of good news it is always follow by the worst moutain to climb. i feel i will never get a breake from anything i just know i miss my boy so much. last year my ex toke me to court and tried to cut me out of the picture, but the judge did not grant him that, but bc of my health i believe i made the right decsion by lettin he stay with his father during the week days. and the things he was supposed to do on his end of the deal has not happen , if i bring it up its a fight. i dont want to agrue no more. its dragging me down and its really not helping my health, makin it wor anyway thank you all so very much it means the world to me. other then this i have no support and is dealing with all this on my own.
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Old 11-08-2013, 09:06 AM   #10
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Unhappy Re: confused mom and son

Well now I dont have a clue what to think???? my son asks me how csn he make it up to me, i said tell the truth would be great. he did to his dad in th snalllest i ever heard. then yesterday, CYFS called to telll me that he is still saying the same, just it only happen a long time ago but i cant let that go, i didn do it. CYFS is telling me to drop it and let it go, i dont think i can do that , please any info u may hsve, help
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