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Old 08-24-2010, 12:32 AM   #1
shy12 Female
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humm what have I done

I have this one amazing friend... we have known each other for 6 months know and I cant beleieve how much I can talk to him... Hes always listening and giving advise no matter what it is and is alway nice to me.. he said he never going anywere and I can tell him any thing... hes been so good to me he knowns he can talk to me if he needs to but hes got his new wife so more likely he dosent need me... But today I was talking to him about evething that was going on and he was listen and lettign me know hes here for me and that hes not going any were and that I am good person and that he would miss me and stuff but with all my stress and being over welmed and dawning in every thing today I didnt think when I deleted the account that we talk how would he talk to me and how he feels and didnt think.. I can make another but is it to late... will he still want to talk to me or do you think he will be hurt.. I only deleted because I wanted to not be here I want no one around and no one to fond me.. I was low but it was wrong.. I care alot for this friend Id ont want to loss him.. I didnt try to loss contra hmm I a little lost in what I should do with everthing goign on I cant think straight..
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Old 08-24-2010, 01:37 AM   #2
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Default Re: what have I done

If he has a new wife......He really shouldn't be that good of friends with you? Maybe this guy isn't so great and understanding. My counselor says that most often married couples are not meant to be "great friends" with the opposite sex. Just my opinion.
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Old 08-24-2010, 01:48 AM   #3
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Default Re: what have I done

all we do is talk on computer we have meet on and off befor they got married but never did anything if that what you were thinking.. he dose more listening and giving me addvise then telling me anything.. like yes he tells me hes not going any were that hes here for me.. talking togwther is that wrong?
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Old 08-24-2010, 04:33 AM   #4
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Default Re: what have I done

Just dangerous territory, but I am only one person lets see what some others have too say. I am not judging you...
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Old 08-24-2010, 05:10 AM   #5
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Default Re: what have I done

I agree with gem - he's married and if its female companionship he's looking for, it's his wife he should be going to whether it be just friendship or otherwise. Just now, I think you have enough on your plate to get on with, your children need you more than worrying about him.
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Old 08-24-2010, 06:53 AM   #6
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Default Re: what have I done

If you were friends with both him and his wife it would be one thing, but if this is something he is doing all on his own, then it raises red flags for me, too.

Frankly, I think this is the least of your worries right now. From the plethora of posts you have describing excrutiating emotional pain, I think you really need to seek counceling. It could really change your life in ways that will last.

Right now the attentions of a man, though you long for it, would really be like putting a bandaid on a severed artery. You would feel happy for awhile, but it would be dependant on something you have no control over.
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Old 08-24-2010, 10:28 AM   #7
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Default Re: what have I done

Yea...this just seems like a bad idea all around. From your many posts, like Blue said, you need help and now isn't the time to start a relationship. Unless his wife knows about you and your meetings and everything, it's best to stay away from this person.
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Old 08-24-2010, 10:34 AM   #8
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Default Re: what have I done

Thank you... I realy thought I was doing nothing wrong.. becauuse I an ot out to hurt him and his wife... I really not looking for a man right know just friends... as of today I am think positive and fighting to keep me strong and hae good life with my boys just changing things around
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Old 08-24-2010, 10:57 AM   #9
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Default Re: what have I done

You do need a friend who you can be open and who will listen and support you. But, there is danger in a friend of the opposite sex. I would worry for his marriage. He needs to put his marriage and wife 1st.
If I ever do get into a serious relationship, I will cut ties with several female friends. If I was married and when I was I was very careful to avoid any situation where my values could be compromised.

I picked a counselor of my Faith and gender for a reason.
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Old 08-24-2010, 11:20 AM   #10
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Default Re: what have I done

thank you.. I never thought about it.. because we were friends before he got married till know and you guys have helped in a big way. if I was married or in a relashionship I would be just talk to my partner and not to other guys.. I know what I have to do but its hard because hes a great guy and has been there for me for the last 6 months so yea... But I dont want to get him in to trouble or get hurt in the long run
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Old 08-24-2010, 11:50 AM   #11
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Default Re: what have I done

Was he dating his current wife before you met?
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Old 08-24-2010, 12:08 PM   #12
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Default Re: what have I done

yes he was... he didnt say they were living to gether till later.. at frist he said he was single but 2 weeks in talking to me he finily told me that he had a gf..
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Old 08-24-2010, 01:43 PM   #13
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Default Re: what have I done

Quote:
Originally Posted by shy12 View Post
yes he was... he didnt say they were living to gether till later.. at frist he said he was single but 2 weeks in talking to me he finily told me that he had a gf..
Awe...the pillar of honestly, I see.....

---------- Post added at 01:43 PM ---------- Previous post was at 01:41 PM ----------

So....at first he was single....then admitted to a girlfriend and then admitted that they were living together. And you have questions about being friends with him?? Ew. Friends are a reflection of who we are. No way do I want a friend like him.
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Old 08-24-2010, 01:45 PM   #14
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Default Re: what have I done

yea at first I was upset I dint know that they were getting married till a month ago
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