Wild Dancing Thanksgivng Turkey I am new and joined b/c I'm depressed! - Single Parents Forum: Single Family Voices
All forums, topics and discussions are geared to single parents and the issues faced with single parenting.
Support a single parent today and one will support you back!
         


Go Back   Single Parents Forum: Single Family Voices >
(``'·.¸(``'·.¸ Single Parenting - Issues ¸.·'´´)¸.·'´´)
> Military Single Parents


~ Donate Today ~ PLEASE
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 11-01-2004, 02:43 AM   #1
Proud Single Military Mother
I am New
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: California
Posts: 6
Rep Power: 0
Proud Single Military Mother is an unknown quantity at this point
Default

Hello all! I was bored and thought I might look up some parenting forums. I am a 20 yr old single mother in the military. My son right now is 9 months old. My life just seems so depressing! Everyday I go through the same routine...work, pick up son, feed son, bathe son, cook dinner for me, play with Ethan (my son) before until he goes to bed, clean up, take a shower...and this happens every single day! I don't have any money so I can't really do anything and even though my son brings me all the joy in the world, I'm just so depressed. I don't have much of a life at all coz I'm stuck at home. I do have a boyfriend, who is not the father, but our relationship is on the rocks. I don't know what to do. I find myself crying when I'm at home all the time. Any advice...?
Proud Single Military Mother is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-01-2004, 09:50 AM   #2
Don Male
At A loss for Words - NOT!

 
Don's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: California
Posts: 2,664
Rep Power: 223
Don will become famous soon enough
Default

Welcome to the forum. Lots of great people here to interact with. Of course most live miles apart but we do tend to stay pretty active around here.
Enjoy the site.
Don is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-01-2004, 10:56 AM   #3
Ty's mom
Setting New Standards

 
Ty's mom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Kissimmee, FL
Posts: 1,069
Rep Power: 0
Ty's mom is an unknown quantity at this point
Default

Welcome to the site. I can relate to all that you said above, only now I have to add his Tae Kwon Do class and homework in since he is older than your son. I can only imagine that being in the military makes things a little more difficult for you during this very unsure time. We stand behind those that protect this country and keep you all in our prayers every day.

I hope you stick around on this site. There are tons of great people here and we share issues, both serious and sometimes quite comical, and support each other through it all.
Ty's mom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-01-2004, 11:20 AM   #4
Pockettz
Parent on Board
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Manitoba, Canada
Posts: 113
Rep Power: 0
Pockettz is an unknown quantity at this point
Default

Welcome! I hear ya girl and completely understand. Reading prior posts might help ya too.
Is there other single moms on your base that might be able to help and give you some support? How long have you been depressed? Could it be post-partum?
Pockettz is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-02-2004, 12:33 PM   #5
Proud Single Military Mother
I am New
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: California
Posts: 6
Rep Power: 0
Proud Single Military Mother is an unknown quantity at this point
Default

I thought maybe it might be post partum but my son is 9 months now...I know its possible for mothers to go through post partum for a long period but I don't think I'm that bad yet. I have read the many stories and I have been able to hold myself together and avoid doing anything stupid to myself. I definitely like to read other posts and reply to those who share the same situations and whatnot. Thank you all for welcoming me and I'm sure that I will enjoy this forum/site!
Proud Single Military Mother is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-02-2004, 12:59 PM   #6
All4Mine
Active Board Parent
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Southern Cali
Posts: 286
Rep Power: 0
All4Mine is an unknown quantity at this point
Default

Military Mother,

First, you and your son are worthy of great things. Thank God, you know this because you are still with us today. Being a single parent is a tough job, but your son was surely given to you for a reason and it is your purpose in life to pursue the plan for your lives.

I know it isn't easy and it seems like when it rains, its pour, but today is a new day and you must always look at it that way. Wake up saying, "I am going to make a difference in my life, if I don't, no one else will." You can do this honey.

I've been in those dark places where you feel like "if I have to go through this one more day...." I know how you feel and it hurts to the core. You have to know and believe that life will get better and that the monotony will break. A change is going to come. Nothing stays the same and you have to know that they will get better soon.

Talk about routine, I looked at my 9 yr old move the table cloth in the same spot she usually sits with her plain toast and a cup of water, and while I was ironing my blouse I thought, "she does the same thing everyday. Heck, we all do the same thing everyday." Some things are set up by design (and they'll always be on the same schedule), but there are things we can do differently in life. I tell myself daily, "I am not going to tell that boy to hurry up and get dress. I am not going to hold his hand while he puts that lotion on one leg at a time and is still in the same spot 10 minutes later." I tell myself, "today is going to be different and I'll make sure of it."

Do you have anyone you can talk to? I know you mentioned a BF, but things are on the rocks. Is he still an earshot away from listening to your cry? Can you think of anything you or you and your son can do that doesn't require money...There are lots of things the kids and I do when the money is low.... I live close to Big Bear Lake, and the snow is absolutely gorgeous at this time of the year (not to mention, the kid's imagination is so vivid, I swear they're from the wilderness...llllllll).

If you need a friend, you have me...

What part of California are you located?

Blessings and prayers to you...
All4Mine is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-06-2004, 12:14 AM   #7
Proud Single Military Mother
I am New
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: California
Posts: 6
Rep Power: 0
Proud Single Military Mother is an unknown quantity at this point
Default

I've been getting much better. I think I was more depressed because of my relationship with my boyfriend than anything else. I knew that my son wasn't making me depressed because I absolutely LOVE being with him! Like I mentioned before, my boyfriend and I are/were on the rocks. It was his birthday yesterday and we actually took leave this whole week to kind of relax from all the stress and so we could spend quality time together. He is a great boyfriend and father to my child, even though he's not the biological father. Him and I have been doing things together all week...with my son. I think I just needed a little break.

By the way, I'm from Lompoc, California. I'm actually stationed at Vandenberg AFB...in case you are from the local area.
Proud Single Military Mother is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-10-2005, 05:24 AM   #8
1966Ron
I am New
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: currently overseas
Posts: 6
Rep Power: 0
1966Ron is an unknown quantity at this point
Default

hello, single military mom, The holidays are over. It is a hard time for many, the daily grind, the routine seems to never end. I know been doing it for 2 years now since my wife passed away. I am a marine stationed overseas with two boys. Just keeps going and going. There is always something that brings me back around though, just look at some of the cute things kids do,, amoung the many not so cute. I hope what ever command you are at is helping you out, there are resources, dont be shy, use them. more the happy to chat with you and give you any help i can. I have been in a while. take care of yourself and the baby.
Ron
1966Ron is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-18-2005, 10:35 PM   #9
PrincessGrd
I am New
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Florida
Posts: 4
Rep Power: 0
PrincessGrd is an unknown quantity at this point
Default

Hello! I'm also a single military Mom--kids are in kindgergarten and first. I hear the money issue loud and clear. What I do with my kids is we frequently pack a backpack and find some trails in the woods, find a clear spot and have a picnic. Though your son is young, he may enjoy discovering all those neat things boys tend to like--BUGS! If your base fitness center has a play area, that would be great for you both; he can play within your sight and you can work out--proven to be a fantastic depression buster. Check with the family support center-they usually have a single parents support group that meets once a month--great place to swap play dates so you can get a break without having to clean out your wallet. I get bummed at times when I can't afford to go on an actual vacation like my ex does, but the things my kids seem to remember most are the simple spontaneous stuff that we do. Keep your chin up and let me know if you had any luck with the FSC.

Quote:
Originally posted by Proud Single Military Mother:
[qb] Hello all! I was bored and thought I might look up some parenting forums. I am a 20 yr old single mother in the military. My son right now is 9 months old. My life just seems so depressing! Everyday I go through the same routine...work, pick up son, feed son, bathe son, cook dinner for me, play with Ethan (my son) before until he goes to bed, clean up, take a shower...and this happens every single day! I don't have any money so I can't really do anything and even though my son brings me all the joy in the world, I'm just so depressed. I don't have much of a life at all coz I'm stuck at home. I do have a boyfriend, who is not the father, but our relationship is on the rocks. I don't know what to do. I find myself crying when I'm at home all the time. Any advice...? [/qb]
PrincessGrd is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-18-2005, 03:39 PM   #10
mychildmyheart
I am New
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Nashville, TN
Posts: 7
Rep Power: 0
mychildmyheart is an unknown quantity at this point
Default

I use to feel like my life was a routine too. And there are still days in the week I still feel like that. Let me try to put this into words, what you need to do is step out of your body for a second. Or just realize where you are, sometimes it takes smelling your surroundings, just listening to the sounds around you, or feeling things, even the fabric of your clothes, it is what many phsyciatrists say "bring us back". What I am trying to say is realize where you are and do not let it become a routine. If you do then what is it for. I know being in the military is hard but when you have free time, maybe on the weekend do something special with just you and your child. Go to the park and spend a few hours. do something that doesnt take much thought or planning. Trust me this helps both you and the child. I go to school every evening 4 days a week so you can say my days are the same and my weekends. But what I do to change it is get me and my son out of the house. If the weather is not right for the park we will go to the kids area at the mall, or go for a walk , or wherever and then get back to the routine. Trust me, you will be glad you have him on a schdule anyway in the long run so you are doing good. But we all feel that way when we have responsibilites, b/c we no longer have the right to just come home and sit on the couch, or go out to a peaceful dinner, or not do laundry just b/c. But now we always have something to be done. I know it sucks, but in the end its ok, b/c you sound like a great mother. Good luck sweetie.
mychildmyheart is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-01-2006, 02:05 AM   #11
hannahsrock
Board Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Wichita, KS
Posts: 41
Rep Power: 0
hannahsrock is an unknown quantity at this point
Default

I can relate. I am a 34 year old military mom to 11 month old, Hannah. My husband (civilian) just walked out on me. I am also depressed and in the same rut you are. It takes everything I have to go to work and care for Hannah.

I guess its important to realize that we are not alone.
hannahsrock is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-08-2007, 05:20 PM   #12
Tanya Oke
Getting My Feet (Board) Wet
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: BC Canada
Posts: 28
Rep Power: 0
Tanya Oke is an unknown quantity at this point
Default

Boy oh Boy can I relate my daughter is 11yoa now and I feel like I live the same routine over and over everyday. I am also a single mom in the Canadian Military. Yep get up 5am, get kid up 6am, at work 7am, back home at 3pm, supper, cleanup, homework,bath, bed. Start over.
Tanya Oke is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes


Resources: youngrobin.com
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Hello-just joined NYDadof3 40 - Something Single Dads 5 04-22-2009 11:44 AM
just joined lyssabee2 20 Something Single Moms 3 11-09-2008 06:35 PM
I joined the Military Now what? Doris Military Single Parents 22 02-05-2008 11:32 AM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 02:40 AM.

Some parent places to visit:
A Single Parents
Parent Arium
Solo Parents
Single Parent Personal Ads



Go Like Us On Facebook = facebook.com/SoloParent
Go Like Us On Facebook = facebook.com/SingleParentsInformation
Powered by vbulletin

All forums, topics and discussions are geared to single parents and the issues faced with single parenting.
Support a single parent today and one will support you back!

A Community for single parents, step parents and blended families

Disclaimer Under Section 107 of the Copyright Act 1976, allowance is made for "fair use" for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research. Fair use is a use permitted by copyright statute that might otherwise be infringing. Non-profit, educational or personal use tips the balance in favor of fair use.