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Old 03-22-2010, 06:42 PM   #1
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I am a single mother..with another on the way. I work full time right now, but am barely making it. I am so tempted to quit my job and apply for assistance but im afraid I wont qualify if I quit. If I apply now I know I wont qualify cause I make too much (according to them). When summertime comes my sons daycare will be 208 a week, thats half of what I make, with gas and living expenses...I wont be able to make it. Anyone have any suggestions. And no, I dont have any family or friends that will watch my child. Im so frustrated.
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Old 03-22-2010, 06:49 PM   #2
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Default Re: financial assistance

Have you applied for assistance just with paying for childcare?
Maybe if you can demonstrate that it breaks you? It would break me, too.

---------- Post added at 05:49 PM ---------- Previous post was at 05:49 PM ----------

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Old 03-22-2010, 08:15 PM   #3
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Default Re: financial assistance

not sure what responses you'll get to your question. I started the thread "are we moochers" and it turned into a slightly heated debate. Seems many people have had experience with witnessing welfare fraud so they have very strong opinions about how most people are somehow able to take advantage of the system. this has not been my personal experience. I have had to fill out form after form, provide very personal financial information, and yet still cannot get some programs necessary for me to regain my independence. Regarding daycare, in my area you must be employed to get daycare assistance and then you are put on a waiting list that is at leat 6 months long. I'm not even sure how much aid I would get because I can't get a job without daycare and I can't afford to pay for daycare on my own. It was suggested to me to try to find a daycare that offers scholarships until I could get state funding. So, I guess I don't have any answer for you other than I understand your position and wish you the best
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Old 03-22-2010, 11:40 PM   #4
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Default Re: financial assistance

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not sure what responses you'll get to your question. I started the thread "are we moochers" and it turned into a slightly heated debate. Seems many people have had experience with witnessing welfare fraud so they have very strong opinions about how most people are somehow able to take advantage of the system. this has not been my personal experience. I have had to fill out form after form, provide very personal financial information, and yet still cannot get some programs necessary for me to regain my independence. Regarding daycare, in my area you must be employed to get daycare assistance and then you are put on a waiting list that is at leat 6 months long. I'm not even sure how much aid I would get because I can't get a job without daycare and I can't afford to pay for daycare on my own. It was suggested to me to try to find a daycare that offers scholarships until I could get state funding. So, I guess I don't have any answer for you other than I understand your position and wish you the best
Virgo, you cannot "get" all that the frauds do because you are honest. You would never stoop to the kinds of tactics they use.....
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Old 03-23-2010, 12:15 AM   #5
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Default Re: financial assistance

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not sure what responses you'll get to your question. I started the thread "are we moochers" and it turned into a slightly heated debate. Seems many people have had experience with witnessing welfare fraud so they have very strong opinions about how most people are somehow able to take advantage of the system. this has not been my personal experience. I have had to fill out form after form, provide very personal financial information, and yet still cannot get some programs necessary for me to regain my independence. Regarding daycare, in my area you must be employed to get daycare assistance and then you are put on a waiting list that is at leat 6 months long. I'm not even sure how much aid I would get because I can't get a job without daycare and I can't afford to pay for daycare on my own. It was suggested to me to try to find a daycare that offers scholarships until I could get state funding. So, I guess I don't have any answer for you other than I understand your position and wish you the best
I think you are reading too much negativity into peoples opinions on here.
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Old 03-23-2010, 12:18 AM   #6
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Default Re: financial assistance

I can see the nagativity you would see Virgo, and aidansmommy, I'm in Canada so I have zero suggestions or advice, but crossing my fingers that you get some opportunity that will ease your burden and financial strain.
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Old 03-23-2010, 12:18 AM   #7
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Default Re: financial assistance

aidensmommy, daycare was a HUGE struggle for me. With two kids it took two thirds of my pay just for daycare. I was on a list for quite some time, but the next county over only had a two week wait. Look into subsidy programs, you might be surprised. I still pay some but it is much more manageable
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Old 03-23-2010, 12:48 AM   #8
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Default Re: financial assistance

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Virgo, you cannot "get" all that the frauds do because you are honest. You would never stoop to the kinds of tactics they use.....
Should have added, I don't think that most people who recieve assistance abuse it, I just think that many of them do, enough that if a stop was put to the abuse then there would be alot more help for those who are genuinely willing to help themselves and just need some help making ends meet.
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Old 03-23-2010, 11:49 AM   #9
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Should have added, I don't think that most people who recieve assistance abuse it, I just think that many of them do, enough that if a stop was put to the abuse then there would be alot more help for those who are genuinely willing to help themselves and just need some help making ends meet.
Certainly a valid point. It is a shame that peole commiting welfare fraud are not reported. I've known a few who failed to disclose some info to welfare, but it caught up with them eventually and they lost all of their benefits. I believe honesty is the best policy, then you don't have to keep track of the lies or spend every moment looking over your shoulder waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Unfortunately, there is a lot of negativity directed at people who use the welfare system in general. I do feel there has been some negativity voiced here, not alot, but some and I guess I'm fighting for those of us who are good people because we face those looks everyday. For example, when I am in the grocery store and using my access card, I see the looks. Because the WIC orders have to be rung up separately, I see the looks. I am guilty of having an attitude toward those on the system in the past myself as they purchased food items I couldn't afford to buy and felt my money was being missused. But as with anything, when one begins to pass judgement or get too big for their britches, God will humble you. I for one, have been humbled.
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Old 03-23-2010, 12:40 PM   #10
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Default Re: financial assistance

That's pretty much it, Virgo. When most of us have to accept that kind of help, we feel a certain level of shame, of failure. I'm not saying we should feel that way, but it's hard not to. We take pride in hard work and the rewards thereof. We are grateful for the help, but wish we didn't need it.

For chronic abusers of the system no such shame exists. They feel so entitled that it's almost like it's a credit card they somehow earned...one they never have to pay! They will demand these things. They feel it is their right. They feel successful as long as they get theirs, irregardless if they actually earned any of it or not.
In fact, my SIL was required to do some light office work for the state to "earn" hers once. She sat on her ____, spilled coffee on half the letters she was supposed to process, used the other half to wipe up the rest of it that it didn't spill directly on, then threw the whole mess away.
They decided she did not have the intelligence to do this work and she was let off the hook. She went home and bragged about this, so proud she had gotten over on them. She thought it ridiculous that they had asked anything of her.
She claimed that she could not read or write...but I know for a fact that she could. She claimed she couldn't drive, either. Used that as an excuse for alot of things. But she would drive illegally if she had to in order to go join her BF in a crack house. She grew up, spoiled rotten, in a much wealthier neighborhood than I could EVER afford. She had a higher education than I and she went to some of the best schools in the nation...she actually graduated, I only made it through 9th grade.
Humble is not in their vocabulary.
To compare these people to those who just need a hand to get through a rough patch (even a long one), a leg up back into the saddle where they will take the reins into their own hands, is to compare.....
Xaviera Hollender with Mother Teresa.
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Old 03-23-2010, 01:02 PM   #11
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Default Re: financial assistance

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That's pretty much it, Virgo. When most of us have to accept that kind of help, we feel a certain level of shame, of failure. I'm not saying we should feel that way, but it's hard not to. We take pride in hard work and the rewards thereof. We are grateful for the help, but wish we didn't need it.

For chronic abusers of the system no such shame exists. They feel so entitled that it's almost like it's a credit card they somehow earned...one they never have to pay! They will demand these things. They feel it is their right. They feel successful as long as they get theirs, irregardless if they actually earned any of it or not.
In fact, my SIL was required to do some light office work for the state to "earn" hers once. She sat on her ____, spilled coffee on half the letters she was supposed to process, used the other half to wipe up the rest of it that it didn't spill directly on, then threw the whole mess away.
They decided she did not have the intelligence to do this work and she was let off the hook. She went home and bragged about this, so proud she had gotten over on them. She thought it ridiculous that they had asked anything of her.
She claimed that she could not read or write...but I know for a fact that she could. She claimed she couldn't drive, either. Used that as an excuse for alot of things. But she would drive illegally if she had to in order to go join her BF in a crack house. She grew up, spoiled rotten, in a much wealthier neighborhood than I could EVER afford. She had a higher education than I and she went to some of the best schools in the nation...she actually graduated, I only made it through 9th grade.
Humble is not in their vocabulary.
To compare these people to those who just need a hand to get through a rough patch (even a long one), a leg up back into the saddle where they will take the reins into their own hands, is to compare.....
Xaviera Hollender with Mother Teresa.
Why not report her for the abuse? It would be one less person misusing the system.
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Old 03-23-2010, 04:39 PM   #12
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Default Re: financial assistance

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I am a single mother..with another on the way. I work full time right now, but am barely making it. I am so tempted to quit my job and apply for assistance but im afraid I wont qualify if I quit. If I apply now I know I wont qualify cause I make too much (according to them). When summertime comes my sons daycare will be 208 a week, thats half of what I make, with gas and living expenses...I wont be able to make it. Anyone have any suggestions. And no, I dont have any family or friends that will watch my child. Im so frustrated.
This is a tough place to be in. I know when I first left my husband this is the dilemma exactly, that I faced.

I would suggest you get your ducks in a row to file for child support right away after the birth of the child.

Find out about child care assistance. I am not sure how it works in your state, but in mine, you will get at least partially paid for daycare.

Quitting your job for assistance probably is not the best way to go. You are going to end up trapped in a cycle that is not good. Can you go back to school? There are all kinds of of scholarships, grants and student loans that will get you through, and will include daycare costs so you can study.
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Old 03-23-2010, 05:03 PM   #13
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she would drive illegally if she had to in order to go join her BF in a crack house.
But you are sure the kids are better off with her then in care? I fully admit that I know hardly anything about foster care in the US, but what I know sounds bad.
I can't fathom why you wouldn't report her.
Sounds like she's got you jaded against the system and anyone who uses it, and I think her kids are going to end up worse off with her then without.
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Old 03-23-2010, 06:02 PM   #14
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This is a tough place to be in. I know when I first left my husband this is the dilemma exactly, that I faced.

I would suggest you get your ducks in a row to file for child support right away after the birth of the child.

Find out about child care assistance. I am not sure how it works in your state, but in mine, you will get at least partially paid for daycare.

Quitting your job for assistance probably is not the best way to go. You are going to end up trapped in a cycle that is not good. Can you go back to school? There are all kinds of of scholarships, grants and student loans that will get you through, and will include daycare costs so you can study.
Just an FYI, if you already have education, ie college degree, there is no assistance available for schooling through the government grant programs. Already checked on it. The only possibility is to qualify for a Pell Grant and only if you are going into certain fields and can commit to 5 years of working in that field. And of course, student loans must be repaid, when money is tight not really an option. And as far as daycare, let me reiterate, you must be employed or have a job lined up in order to get on the waiting list unless you can find a daycare that offers scholarships. I am not trying to give you a hard time LSL, but it must be some time since you accessed the system and things have changed. I know you have legal knowledge, but I have asked all of these questions within the last 6 months so I feel my information is current and accurate. All of your suggestions are good, but not necessarily realistic. Sorry to be contrary, but it is what it is.

---------- Post added at 05:02 PM ---------- Previous post was at 04:59 PM ----------

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But you are sure the kids are better off with her then in care? I fully admit that I know hardly anything about foster care in the US, but what I know sounds bad.
I can't fathom why you wouldn't report her.
Sounds like she's got you jaded against the system and anyone who uses it, and I think her kids are going to end up worse off with her then without.
I agree with your assessment, I think Blue has had a terrible experience with observing welfare fraud and it is going to be hard to show her the other side of the debate. Fraud is truly not as rampant as you think and the cash assistance would not be enough money to support anybody's crack habit for a day, let alone for a long period of time.
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Old 03-23-2010, 06:12 PM   #15
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Default Re: financial assistance

Virgo, I live in Pa as well. I think it must be different depending on where you live. In my area there are subsidy daycare programs for those looking for a job as well as special circumstances i.e. single mom was in a wreck and the subsidy paid for daycare for her children while she went to therapy
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Old 03-23-2010, 06:47 PM   #16
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Default Re: financial assistance

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But you are sure the kids are better off with her then in care? I fully admit that I know hardly anything about foster care in the US, but what I know sounds bad.
I can't fathom why you wouldn't report her.
Sounds like she's got you jaded against the system and anyone who uses it, and I think her kids are going to end up worse off with her then without.
I have addressed this question in a new thread. As for the driving, I learned about it after the fact. In fact, when she got busted she was passed out on the lawn, the car was on the lawn, and the kids were inside of it, doors still open. However, she was not behind the wheel, so all the hollerin in the world that she was intending to drive when she passed out fell on deaf ears. Besides, the car was on private property at the time. That may have "helped" her.
In NY, if you are sitting in a car with the keys in the ignition but the car not running (maybe listening to the radio) on public ground and a cop decides to breathalize you and you fail, you can get a DUI. The keys signify intent to drive. That's just the law.
But if you are not in the car, and no-one saw you actually drive the car.....apparently just putting your kids in the car does not signify intent to drive. Go figure. ?
As for foster care, I looked into this, too. I spoke with CPS.
Placing a child in foster care in that place at that time was a real ____ shoot, especially for the adolecent girl. Things could have actually gotten much worse for her. I didn't want to be responsible for that happening, taking her out of the frying pan and throwing her into the fire.
If the mother had straightened herself out and tried to do the right thing I would have had no problem at all with her reciveing assistance, however much she needed as long as she really needed it.
My outrage is because she was using the system to support her while she spent money on drugs and alcohol...and she saw nothing wrong with this. She believed it was her right to do this. She would act completely helpless and dullminded. Whine, cry and have temper tantrums right there, scream discrimination (and btw, she was a white girl) and that they were starving her kids, etc. until they gave her what she wanted just to get her out of there it seemed.
And this is not rare.
Then someone like you or I comes along and wants food stamps to get through a tough winter. Or medicade. Or help with childcare. We get treated like we are...IDK. It seems so much more is expected of us. WHY?
You know, I guess I am somewhat jaded against the system. I would question any system that rewards bad behavior and punishes people who are truly trying to do the right thing...

---------- Post added at 05:47 PM ---------- Previous post was at 05:42 PM ----------

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Just an FYI, if you already have education, ie college degree, there is no assistance available for schooling through the government grant programs. Already checked on it. The only possibility is to qualify for a Pell Grant and only if you are going into certain fields and can commit to 5 years of working in that field. And of course, student loans must be repaid, when money is tight not really an option. And as far as daycare, let me reiterate, you must be employed or have a job lined up in order to get on the waiting list unless you can find a daycare that offers scholarships. I am not trying to give you a hard time LSL, but it must be some time since you accessed the system and things have changed. I know you have legal knowledge, but I have asked all of these questions within the last 6 months so I feel my information is current and accurate. All of your suggestions are good, but not necessarily realistic. Sorry to be contrary, but it is what it is.

---------- Post added at 05:02 PM ---------- Previous post was at 04:59 PM ----------



I agree with your assessment, I think Blue has had a terrible experience with observing welfare fraud and it is going to be hard to show her the other side of the debate. Fraud is truly not as rampant as you think and the cash assistance would not be enough money to support anybody's crack habit for a day, let alone for a long period of time.
No, the welfare didn't pay for the crack all by itself.. The boyfriend who lived there and worked paid for the crack. The off the books work she did sometimes (waitress) paid for the crack. The foodstamps they sold at half value paid for the crack. The rent they didn't have to pay, paid for the crack, and so on.
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Old 03-23-2010, 09:18 PM   #17
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Default Re: financial assistance

Virgo---you can pick it apart all you want, and take it completely personal---HOWEVER, welfare is a state to state thing. What might be true in your state, will not be in another's.

In my state, daycare assistance is partially paid for or fully funded if you are LOOKING for a job, or are employed. There is no waiting period. I don't know how they do it in your state, but, that's how we roll here.

There are grants and scholarships out there for college education, even 2nd degrees [but I am not aware this OP had a degree to begin with, which is who I was answering not you]....since I am CURRENTLY working on my education, I think I have the latest and greatest information there. There might not be federal, but I know there are state, and single parent programs by state.

Finally, as I have said before, I understand fully how the system works...I have extensive studies in welfare. I know it's not easy, I don't pretend it is.

As a student for the last seven years, actually I have accessed the system. We can play one upmanship all we want. I don't understand why you are taking this so personally. I think the system is there for a safety net, and it's important. There are limits, and there should be. I don't begrudge anywone who is accessing it to get a hand up.
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Old 03-23-2010, 09:22 PM   #18
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Default Re: financial assistance

here is another thought, If you have a job and pay taxes, then you have a right to use the system if you need to.
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Old 03-23-2010, 10:19 PM   #19
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Default Re: financial assistance

okay, as I said, I give, you all win. think what you want and refuse to look at the other side. And LSL, I am not taking this personally, I am presenting the other side of the debate. And here in PA the way we "roll" is that you must have a job to get on the waiting list for daycare assistance. And yes, there is no federal money available if you are going back for additional degrees. I know you are studying the law, but you, like everyone else do not have all the answers and as you should know, the laws are everchanging. I do not feel bad for utilizing the system Blue, I paid into it for 25 years and my parents for many more than that so I am not trying to make myself feel better, I am simply trying to get people to see that there is more good than bad. But it is a losing battle to open up your narrow minds. Excuse me for offering an opinion and taking a stand. I will remember in the future to not comment on anyone's posts or offer a contrary opinion. After all, you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make them drink. Enjoy your website, don't know if I'll be back because apparently what I say has no merit and I don't know what I'm talking about.
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Old 03-23-2010, 10:26 PM   #20
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Default Re: financial assistance

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Originally Posted by Virgo69 View Post
After all, you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make them drink. Enjoy your website, don't know if I'll be back because apparently what I say has no merit and I don't know what I'm talking about.
That is very patronizing and condenscending. If you want to persuade someone, then you don't play one upmanship. Don't attack people personally, and be respectful not full of assumptions about people. It's not the opinion anyone has an issue with, you are entitled. It's the presentation of that opinion.
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Old 03-23-2010, 10:37 PM   #21
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Default Re: financial assistance

What you fail to see is that you arent presenting another side......we have, alot of us, been there, AND ARE AGREEING with some of the things you are trying to say. I LIVE in Pa. I RECIEVE daycare subsidy. I dont want people who are needing subsidy to look for work here, thinking they cannot get it, they can. It may be different county to county, like the waiting lists are.

---------- Post added at 09:37 PM ---------- Previous post was at 09:29 PM ----------

For anyone who needs the info CCIS (childcare information services) Provides subsidy in PA, at least central PA anyway. Your wait time differs by county, my county 6 months, next county over is almost immediate. There are the traditional programs for working parents (you do not have to be single but must meet income requirements) There are also programs through this agency for parents looking for work as well as programs on a case by case basis for individual needs. Not everyone qualifies, but they try to help fit your needs. If anyone needs info I encourage you to call. Maybe they can help, maybe they cant, but you dont know, untill you try.
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Old 04-07-2010, 11:40 PM   #22
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Default Re: financial assistance

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Originally Posted by sara1 View Post
[/COLOR]For anyone who needs the info CCIS (childcare information services) Provides subsidy in PA, at least central PA anyway. Your wait time differs by county, my county 6 months, next county over is almost immediate. There are the traditional programs for working parents (you do not have to be single but must meet income requirements) There are also programs through this agency for parents looking for work as well as programs on a case by case basis for individual needs. Not everyone qualifies, but they try to help fit your needs. If anyone needs info I encourage you to call. Maybe they can help, maybe they cant, but you dont know, untill you try.
I called them and was told by that agency that I need to be employed or have a job lined up to get put on the waiting list. I am posting this because I did not provide misinformation unless the person at that agency misinformed me. Do not want to rehash this argument, but do not appreciate a negative report made when I am only posting what that agency told me was a requirement well before I made the statement. In fact, it was one of the first calls I made when I got cleared medically to return to work.

---------- Post added at 10:40 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:32 PM ----------

maybe the policy varies from county to county, but in my county in PA, I'm outta luck
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Old 04-08-2010, 10:45 AM   #23
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Default Re: financial assistance

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I am a single mother..with another on the way. I work full time right now, but am barely making it. I am so tempted to quit my job and apply for assistance but im afraid I wont qualify if I quit. If I apply now I know I wont qualify cause I make too much (according to them). When summertime comes my sons daycare will be 208 a week, thats half of what I make, with gas and living expenses...I wont be able to make it. Anyone have any suggestions. And no, I dont have any family or friends that will watch my child. Im so frustrated.
Not be to mean but this post has step away from the real matter that was spoke about. This was not debate question she was asking, aidansmommy was looking for help not a debate session here. Aidansmommy go to your local social service office and see what type of help you can recieve. If you do not want the WIC, food stamps, the whole nine just apply for day care assistance. It seem as if you are need of help and you should research help before becoming frustrated. It may be hard not to do but try and see what they say. With daycare assistance they will consider how many children you have, your monthly expenses and your income i am pretty sure they will try to help in some type of way. Also explain to your social worker that you have no family here to help watch your children and you need help ASAP. But do not quit your job. Becoming a mother is a FT job but we have to do what we have to make sure they are taken care of. Your income with a little assistance is how they will be taken care of. Dont give up. Just ask for a little help and you will be okay. Good luck.
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Old 04-08-2010, 01:06 PM   #24
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Default Re: financial assistance

You can pre screen for assistance here.

http://singlefamilyvoices.com/forum/...ead.php?t=2695
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