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Old 12-27-2004, 12:41 AM   #1
satindoll
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Hey everyone I�m new to this board and I love all the advice I have heard so far. I'm a 30 something divorced mama of two beautiful boys David 6 and Jonathan 4. I recently ended 11 years of military service and now I going to school full time to finish my degree (Yaa!!) . My ex is a nut and he makes me pull my hair out with frustration. I don�t trust him and I�m afraid that he will try and take my children away just out of spite (he does not love them). He never sends child support, he has not sent a Christmas present since the boys were babies. I�m afraid that I will not be able to clothe or feed them because I�m unemployed. Also I�m afraid that I will never be able to establish any other healthy relationship because I have MAJOR trust issues. I need advice on cutting costs on food, clothes, etc� also how do I deal with Ex without throwing a brick though his window out of frustration. Oh and does anyone know how much it cost to get a legal name change. (I want my name back!) thanks.
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Old 12-27-2004, 12:41 AM   #2
satindoll
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Hey everyone I�m new to this board and I love all the advice I have heard so far. I'm a 30 something divorced mama of two beautiful boys David 6 and Jonathan 4. I recently ended 11 years of military service and now I going to school full time to finish my degree (Yaa!!) . My ex is a nut and he makes me pull my hair out with frustration. I don�t trust him and I�m afraid that he will try and take my children away just out of spite (he does not love them). He never sends child support, he has not sent a Christmas present since the boys were babies. I�m afraid that I will not be able to clothe or feed them because I�m unemployed. Also I�m afraid that I will never be able to establish any other healthy relationship because I have MAJOR trust issues. I need advice on cutting costs on food, clothes, etc� also how do I deal with Ex without throwing a brick though his window out of frustration. Oh and does anyone know how much it cost to get a legal name change. (I want my name back!) thanks.
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Old 12-27-2004, 01:58 AM   #3
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Hey satindoll,

Welcome to SFV. Firstly, there is a room entitled "frugal living". Some helpful tips in there. Stop pulling your hair out about your ex. If we all did that here it would be a bald single parents support forum. Get to know some of the people around here and maybe some of those trust issues will go away. My presence and input has helped some of the moms around here but I benefit even more because they help me get inside the mother's mind. It's a fair trade that comes with the bonus of friendship.

And thank you for 11 years of helping to protect my freedom. Yes, that coming from a pasty skinned (inside joke on the site- see "fun lounge") Canadian boy.

See ya around.
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Old 12-27-2004, 02:42 PM   #4
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Hi and welcome! Yes don't pull your hair out over your ex. Getting your name changed back, I'm not sure. However you could probably find out from calling a court house or such. Also I would go to your local Department of Human Services and fill out an application, then you can find out what all you quailify for. I understand the trust issues and I think it just takes time. I know that is an annoying answer to hear, but I think I have gotten better just with the time on my own being single. Plus Jay does help to see there are some good guys out there. Stick around, you'll enjoy the site.

Amy
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Old 12-28-2004, 10:41 AM   #5
Amaya's Dad
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About the name change it depends on how you changed it, i know that my ex had changed it on her driver's license and when she went back to her old name she went and changed it back and called all her credit cards and told them of the name change and requested new cards with the correct name on them, and that was it. As for the trust issue thing just be carefull and it will pass or at least get better just take it one step at a time and once you find someone that is right for you the trust issue won't be an issue anymore but you'll know when the time comes.
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Old 12-28-2004, 02:16 PM   #6
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<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by satindoll:
[qb] Hey everyone I�m new to this board and I love all the advice I have heard so far. I'm a 30 something divorced mama of two beautiful boys David 6 and Jonathan 4. I recently ended 11 years of military service and now I going to school full time to finish my degree (Yaa!!) . My ex is a nut and he makes me pull my hair out with frustration. I don�t trust him and I�m afraid that he will try and take my children away just out of spite (he does not love them). He never sends child support, he has not sent a Christmas present since the boys were babies. I�m afraid that I will not be able to clothe or feed them because I�m unemployed. Also I�m afraid that I will never be able to establish any other healthy relationship because I have MAJOR trust issues. I need advice on cutting costs on food, clothes, etc� also how do I deal with Ex without throwing a brick though his window out of frustration. Oh and does anyone know how much it cost to get a legal name change. (I want my name back!) thanks. [/qb] </div></BLOCKQUOTE>im surprised that someone with your extensive military experience isnt getting your share of benefits,not to mention being unemployed... military members have a better chance of getting a job than a civilian does.
as far as being frustrated with the ex,its really a waste of energy- focus on school and the children and youll be fine. as far as name change i think that shouldve been discussed during your divorce. name changing is really a hassle,i was planning on getting my 1st name changed.
heres some helpful advice

legal name change
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Old 12-28-2004, 03:08 PM   #7
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There is also a name change tool kit you can get from your state's website. Sometimes you just have to google name change and texas and see if you can find it. Last time I saw it was 19.95. As for the ex, does he send support? Has he ever had support order through the courts? If you are going into school to finish your degree you need to have some type of plan for working! With your kids at 6 and 4 I would suggest online classes and working part or full-time. If you see the campus thread there are many suggestions there as to how to do it!

Welcome to the board! I ditto the respect given for your service to our country.
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Old 12-28-2004, 09:17 PM   #8
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I do get some benifits because I was injured. I'm just in a state of panic because I thought I couldn't make it without the Military (i've been brain washed!) I feel better that I have gotten some advice from you guys. This board is the bomb!
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