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Old 07-16-2012, 10:03 AM   #1
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star 3 year old boy behavior issues

I am new to this board, but no one else seems to be able to help me with this. My son who will be 4 in the fall, has had a rough run. He has multiple food/enviornmental allergies, along with some speech delays and possibly learning disabilities or ADHD (he's being evaluated in October). We seem to be cycling through some things.

A little background: His dad and I split in Spring 2011, it was ugly. The relationship itself was emotionally abusive from the dad's side, after we split up he began harassing me/ stalking me, and having his friends stalk me. He called the police many times to do well checks at all hours of the day and when he moved back home (1000 miles away) he got law enforcement in his state involved as a personal favor they owed him. He hasnt seen either child (i have a 2 year old as well), since summer of 2011, and has not had any contact since Fall 2011. Anytime he would visit the kids, he would refuse to leave the house, for hours, then say he would be back and take the kids back home (to his home state). There is NO parenting agreement, and according to a few attorneys and law enforcement officers, because we were never married by law, all rights fall back to me until he can prove in court they are his kids. ( I didnt come here to argue laws and such, This is what I have been told countless times, even by a Judge at the protection order hearing, though the order was not granted).

So, We havent heard from him since Fall 2011. Every few weeks my son starts acting out big time, defiant, and hostile (not violent), and screaming and crying all the time. Then he starts asking for his dad, I explain that daddy is far away, and that I am here, and so is his sister. That is it during the day. At night he wakes up during the night screaming and crying. He is inconsolable but awake, these are not night terrors, after about 45 minutes he calms down, and asks where daddy is, i explain that daddy is not here that he is far away. I also remind him that daddy does love him. We walk through the house so he can see that there is no one here but us. He will go back to sleep, and 2 hours later it starts again. This will go on all night. We seem to cycle through this once a month. I intend on calling his Doctor and talking to him about this and see if there is something I'm not doing that I should be. I'm thinking therapy is where we need to go. I would like some input if at all possible. Thank you! Sorry for the long read!
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Old 07-16-2012, 10:54 AM   #2
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Default Re: 3 year old boy behavior issues

welcome.
1.) your doing great with your little guy. May want to add in " what did you dream about"
and Why do you think daddy is here? What do you miss about daddy? trying to find the thread that your child feels tied with.
Maybe it is healthy [hopefully] and this is an separation/abandonment issues.
But it could also be some other things, that your ex and put into your child head and manifesting in his subconscious.

Mine would wake up like that and it was caused by being psychically abused.

So validate and comfort your child, but find the cause.
What are the dreams is he seeing?
are they of rainbows and lipops, or being ducktaped and put into a closet.

and no arguments here, if there NO parenting agreement, no paternity and no marriage then he has NO legal rights to your child. so if he would follow through on his threat of taking your child without your consent would be considered kidnapping.

and those multiple food/environmental allergies could be the high life stress magnifying these allergic reaction. - maybe try some Multi-B vitamins chewable/gummy type.
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Old 07-16-2012, 10:56 AM   #3
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Default Re: 3 year old boy behavior issues

I don't know what to say on your post, but didn't want it to go unanswered for a long time. What you both are going to sounds so hard and exhausting! I would definitely talk to his doctor about it. Hang in there....someone may come on here with more advise, I just wanted to say hello and welcome to our board!
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