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Old 12-17-2011, 11:14 AM   #1
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Default I feel like a bad mother :(

DD has several rings wrong with her teeth. Not to mention the amount of cavities in which I am too embarrased to say. (Almost half of her teeth) I am freaking out and dont understand any of this. I brush the ____ out of her teeth atleast twice a day and sometimes more. I asked the dentist what is going on. I told her how well we brushed and all, and said should I being using a stronger toothpaste or what? and she was like its not so much the brushing but the flossing. Ok, so we dont do that off to the store to buy some of those little pick things. Anyways, I am just so upset about it all. She even has to have one and maybe three teeth extracted OMG I cant even believe this. The dentist appointment was a disaster. She got along ok, but, It was only suppposed to be the initial appointment mainly to discuss with me the procedure they will do after christmas. The next appt I am to have someone with me as she will get the gas and I should have someone drive for me so I can watch her...So, I get there she goes with the dentist, Im in the waiting room...The dentist comes back out and says she had the gas...So, Im like wtf!? Wires got crossed BIG TIME. She got a long fine, and because I was alone, they only did xrays and no work on her teeth, but still they werent supposed to do this then. ugh. Atleast I know she got along ok with the nitrous oxide, but still. I wasnt planning on all of this, and then to top it off she has more than ten cavities. Guys, I really cant even believe it and I juist feel terrible about it. I had to text the ex on some info I needed at the dentist and one of texts I received from him was "how much is this gonna cost me"? A**hole. ugh...Thats all he was worried about and oh its my fault for the cavities cause I give her too much junk. Which is SO NOT true. What could I be doing differently here, I mean seirously I do not understand this as I help her take really good care of her teeth. Oh and to look at her teeth, they really dont look all that bad, except for a couple, but the xrays tell us otherwise
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Old 12-17-2011, 11:21 AM   #2
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Default Re: I feel like a bad mother :(

Nad alot of baby teeth are just not strong. Dont worry about it. You can only do what you are doing for her. Plus you dont know what the ex is feeding her either so next time he say it through it back at him. But really this kind of things just happen. Its just the joys of parenthood. Give her a hug from me and Ry. Also stop being hard on yourself. Your an awesome mommy. HUGS
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Old 12-17-2011, 11:22 AM   #3
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Default Re: I feel like a bad mother :(

Man, I feel for you! I'm very concerned with my 2 yo teeth, mostly because mine are in need of attention. Did the dentist give any other reason? I do know that sometimes it's just plain genetic. I mean other than regular brushing/flossing, no milk at bedtime, regular checkups, and limited sweets what can we do?
I'm sorry that you and your child has to go through this. Hugs, Zm
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Old 12-17-2011, 11:47 AM   #4
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Default Re: I feel like a bad mother :(

Quote:
Originally Posted by confused1996 View Post
Nad alot of baby teeth are just not strong. Dont worry about it. You can only do what you are doing for her. Plus you dont know what the ex is feeding her either so next time he say it through it back at him. But really this kind of things just happen. Its just the joys of parenthood. Give her a hug from me and Ry. Also stop being hard on yourself. Your an awesome mommy. HUGS
Yup...I also believe that good or bad teeth has hereditary influences.
My mom lost all her teeth and had dentures in her 20's, but my Dad had only had maybe 3 cavities in his life. Of the two, my Dad is the one who never brushes, nevermind flosses.
I have my dad's teeth....my sister however......

There is really nothing much you can do that you aren't already doing. Hugs.
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Old 12-17-2011, 04:29 PM   #5
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Default Re: I feel like a bad mother :(

I hope the next set of teeth are stronger. I think it's genetic. Is there something the dentist can do to add protection?
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Old 12-17-2011, 04:56 PM   #6
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Default Re: I feel like a bad mother :(

Enamel may not be 100% there. For example, one of my daughter's front teeth has what looks like a chip and it's brown. It grew in that way and found out part of her enamel is gone through no fault of my own.

Genetics have a lot to do with it too.

Not sure what her eating habits are but maybe change up some of her snacks to make sure she is not eating too many sticky things, limit sugar and if she does eat or drink anything with sugar (such as juice) and you can't brush her teeth right away, have her rinse her mouth with water real good.

Also, is there flouride in your water? She may need extra flouride.

These are just things I've read about and talked to dentists about myself.
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Old 12-17-2011, 07:10 PM   #7
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clown Re: I feel like a bad mother :(

Clearly, you are a wonderful dedicated mother! Brushing her teeth twice a day... we don't all have that dedication, I'm just a little embarrassed to say.

Your child may have gotten a lucky break in finding out about the consequences of not flossing early in life. You'll always have that to help remind her to floss every day.

My sister in law in a dental hygienist... she flossed/flosses FOR her four children, three of them sons, for the first few years of their having teeth. She and my bro are excellent parents also, but, in her experience, kids just don't do it well enough. She does nothing but clean teeth all day, so, you know, she sees the damage. So, she does it for them, which gets it real clear how it should feel, how long it should take, etc.

You have to train them for years. On their own, with few exceptions, children will not floss well. My daughter is 12, and has had braces for two years now. Flossing with braces is really a pain; can't use the picks. I have to threaten her with a magnifying glass inspection, and follow through, for her to do a good job sometimes. I got a dental pick and take a scraping... nothing like showing them what they are missing. Remember those raspberry food coloring tablets that you chew up and it sticks to the food/tartar so you can see exactly where it's piling up? Ask you dentist for some of those maybe.

I agree much of dental strength is hereditary. Mouth breathers usually have strong teeth--it's the oxygen exposure. Maybe give her a mouth guard that keeps her mouth a bit open at night. I don't know if that's a suggested option by dentists, but... it's a thought.

Don't beat yourself up... I turned my back on baby in a back pack frame... she fell and hit her face and the teeth were barely coming in, but it was bleeding just a tiny bit at her front teeth! I thought I'd wrecked her teeth already, went berserk calling dentists at 5:30 PM till someone answered and agreed to see her the next day... I wanted to commit hare kari (sp?). I even went to the ER that night to make sure I hadn't cracked her skull or something... doctors wanted to sedate ME, I was so nervous--I didn't think I was coming off so strained, but clearly I was. I understand how upsetting it is. We have high expectations of ourselves, as we should. But, we must forgive ourselves for not knowing everything about everything.

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Old 12-17-2011, 07:35 PM   #8
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Default Re: I feel like a bad mother :(

If you are on well water you may need fluoride supplements. They also have this polish they can put on ridges now to help prevent. I was that kid... brushed daily, flossed and my baby teeth all had cavities, had them in many adult ones too. My mother was the same way, father had none. I believe it is more to do with genetics than anything! You are NOT a bad mother... your ex is an arse though
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Old 12-18-2011, 12:56 PM   #9
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Default Re: I feel like a bad mother :(

Awww.... I agree with those who posted above. You're doing what you can, and now will probably do better. At a recent dental appointment I got some admonishing looks because one of S's adult teeth looked like it had a cavity forming- and I'd always been obsessive about making sure she brushes twice a day. Now I have her brush, plus floss and use a flouride rinse and their recommendation. Of course, she has come back from her dad's sometimes and brags about how she didn't brush once over the whole weekend...
Sigh....
Which just goes to show you can only do so much when you're co-parenting with an uncooperative ex.
Hugs to you.
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Old 12-18-2011, 02:42 PM   #10
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Default Re: I feel like a bad mother :(

thanks guys....

DD was breastfed for quite sometime and initially she formed a white spot on her front top teeth. Dentist told me it was calcium build up not to worry...That white spot over time became slightly brown in colour and then kind of like chipped or decayed or something. Some days it looks decent more white. Others its more brownish. Kind of weird really. I like the idea of rinsing with water when unable to brush. I never really thought of that. Her dad has bad teeth, so maybe it is all hereditary. Mine are great expect I just had an awesome (not) root canal a few weeks ago. blah. Anyways, Ive been looking for a rinse that I see advertised for kids, but cant seem to find it here anywheres. Its just a mouth wash... Oh and I specifically tell the dad to help her brush. She is good but not that good. He says he does. C says he doesnt. Ugh dumba** I believe C... Anyways, expecting a call the first of the week for my next appointment. Should be after Christmas. I hope it all goes well with no hospital visits they told me if she wont allow it to be done there, it will have to be done in an actual hospital and be put out. Scares the freakin ____ right out of me. Fingers crossed.
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