Wild Dancing Thanksgivng Turkey Being a Follower Not a Leader - Single Parents Forum: Single Family Voices
All forums, topics and discussions are geared to single parents and the issues faced with single parenting.
Support a single parent today and one will support you back!
         


Go Back   Single Parents Forum: Single Family Voices >
(``'·.¸(``'·.¸ Single Parenting - Through The Ages¸.·'´´)¸.·'´´)
> Discipline


~ Donate Today ~ PLEASE
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 02-21-2010, 07:15 PM   #1
Rauna326 Female
I am New
 
Rauna326's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: CA
Posts: 13
Rep Power: 0
Rauna326 is an unknown quantity at this point
Question Being a Follower Not a Leader

Okay....I know that I am not the only one in this situation but it sure seems like it at times. My daughter is almost 8. She is smart (skipped a grade), a good athlete in gymnastics and cheerleading, and is a leader at school. All the kids at school want to be like her. She is a great kid and never requires more than a verbal scolding.

Why then, when a certain friend of hers comes over, can she not be that leader at home? This friend is the daughter of a life long friend of mine. It was only natural in my mind for them to be friends. I trust her parents and my daughter spends time over there often. What's the problem?

Well, about a month ago, my daughter's friend was over. They wanted money for the ice cream truck. I told them to take 4 dollars. My daughter's friend, talked her into taking 5 and spending 4.25. Okay so they only spent a quarter more. But, the issue is that she took more than I told her to and then, tried to steal quarters from our piggy bank to put it back. I will be honest...I spanked her in front of her friend. I sure did hate myself after that. I did not know what else to do. About a week ago..this same friend was over and the girls asked if they could wear a pull up to bed. I told them no, they didn't need to and that they were for my niece who was also spending the night. Again, my daughter yielded to her friend and wore one anyway.

I know, in the scheme of things, these are not big problems. I just don't know what to do to teach her to be a leader in all situations. How do you teach them to say know, even when their friend is making them feel guilty for saying no? What if it was a worse situation like drugs? Could she say no? I need some advice. Anything is appreciated.

P.S. I have already cut way back on the time they spend together.
Rauna326 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-21-2010, 09:39 PM   #2
LSL Female
The blunt one;)


 
LSL's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Somewhere on the left coast
Posts: 11,334
Rep Power: 410
LSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support LegendLSL Is a SFV Support Legend
Default Re: Being a Follower Not a Leader

This is a tough situation because she has met a girl who can influence. I don't see it as a leadership issue, but as an acceptance issue. Maybe she knows how much you want the two of them to be friends. Personally, I think that other girl has some issues that need to be addressed. Those behaviors are small, but still not good. That little girl is deliberately encouraging your daughter to disobey you. I would think on that one some.
__________________
“If your expectations aren’t to be the best, then… you know, nobody rises to low expectations.” - Chip Kelly, coach of Oregon Football.
LSL is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-22-2010, 01:21 PM   #3
Rauna326 Female
I am New
 
Rauna326's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: CA
Posts: 13
Rep Power: 0
Rauna326 is an unknown quantity at this point
Default Re: Being a Follower Not a Leader

Yeah...I have thought a lot about it. It's just a tough situation with it being a close family friend. Thanks for your thoughts.
Rauna326 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-27-2010, 04:46 AM   #4
acraisydaisy
Parent on Board
 
acraisydaisy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Victoria, BC
Posts: 149
Rep Power: 0
acraisydaisy is an unknown quantity at this point
Default Re: Being a Follower Not a Leader

I have had to deal with that one as well, with my youngest son who is 9. It is frustrating. I feel like a broken record when I constantly tell him that he isn't to listen to other kids telling him to do things. He is easily influenced and has still lost the privledge of going downtown with his big brother to the local bike shop that is run by a guy from our old church...to get kids off the street and doing something productive. Even my oldest boy who is 12 years old!!! He has lost the privledge of sleep overs. Him and his friend got up and left his friends house at 5am to walk to school (the friends idea). We have cougars here on the Island...not safe. My youngest son listened to a boy telling him to cross the highway in the middle of traffic and not at a cross walk. Very scary and I thankfully got phone calls on both incidents. My youngest son was to stay with his older brother and they both got seriously grounded.
I wish I had an answer...but I am still trying to figure it out myself. I hope that you are able to find an answer there for yourself
Welcome as well to the group.
acraisydaisy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-27-2010, 09:29 AM   #5
Bluemoon Female
just an old hippie chick

 
Bluemoon's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: In the Mountains
Posts: 8,583
Rep Power: 361
Bluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support Legend
Default Re: Being a Follower Not a Leader

Quote:
Originally Posted by acraisydaisy View Post
We have cougars here on the Island...not safe.
I'm so sorry...but I'm reading about young men and their antics and then I come to this line. I'm sorry, but, ::
Bluemoon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-28-2010, 01:06 PM   #6
acraisydaisy
Parent on Board
 
acraisydaisy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Victoria, BC
Posts: 149
Rep Power: 0
acraisydaisy is an unknown quantity at this point
Default Re: Being a Follower Not a Leader

LOL...I didn't even think of that. Big cats...not women :S I see the humor - too funny!!!
acraisydaisy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-28-2010, 01:42 PM   #7
Bluemoon Female
just an old hippie chick

 
Bluemoon's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: In the Mountains
Posts: 8,583
Rep Power: 361
Bluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support Legend
Default Re: Being a Follower Not a Leader

Quote:
Originally Posted by acraisydaisy View Post
LOL...I didn't even think of that. Big cats...not women :S I see the humor - too funny!!!
Of course I knew what you meant, it's just the whole "cougar" thing is so...up front and center these days, . Hey, I'm easily amused, anyway....
Bluemoon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-28-2010, 01:51 PM   #8
acraisydaisy
Parent on Board
 
acraisydaisy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Victoria, BC
Posts: 149
Rep Power: 0
acraisydaisy is an unknown quantity at this point
Default Re: Being a Follower Not a Leader

Hey Blue what is going on here today? I am seeing alot nasty posts and really confused....
acraisydaisy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-28-2010, 02:06 PM   #9
Bluemoon Female
just an old hippie chick

 
Bluemoon's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: In the Mountains
Posts: 8,583
Rep Power: 361
Bluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support LegendBluemoon Is a SFV Support Legend
Default Re: Being a Follower Not a Leader

Quote:
Originally Posted by acraisydaisy View Post
Hey Blue what is going on here today? I am seeing alot nasty posts and really confused....
I'm not sure, Sweetie. Hang in there, it will all get straightened out. So sorry to all the newer people that you are having to deal with this!
Bluemoon is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes


Resources: youngrobin.com
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 01:10 AM.

Some parent places to visit:
A Single Parents
Parent Arium
Solo Parents
Single Parent Personal Ads



Go Like Us On Facebook = facebook.com/SoloParent
Go Like Us On Facebook = facebook.com/SingleParentsInformation
Powered by vbulletin

All forums, topics and discussions are geared to single parents and the issues faced with single parenting.
Support a single parent today and one will support you back!

A Community for single parents, step parents and blended families

Disclaimer Under Section 107 of the Copyright Act 1976, allowance is made for "fair use" for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research. Fair use is a use permitted by copyright statute that might otherwise be infringing. Non-profit, educational or personal use tips the balance in favor of fair use.