Wild Dancing Thanksgivng Turkey A Party, A Fight, A Baby...my story - Single Parents Forum: Single Family Voices
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Old 04-20-2006, 11:06 PM   #1
Janinne
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Hello I am Janinne and I am 27 years old and a single mom. It all started out so simply and innocently. I was 18, and trying to live a good life. I went to a Halloween Party...wearing no costume (how lame) with my friends. My friends went off by themselves and I went to the counter. I had a whole bunch of Kool Aids (hey I was bored) and got high. I met this guy, Joel, who didn't dress up either. He was sort of a goth and we were having fun though. I was so hyper and didn't know what I was doing. We danced and talked. We talked for about 3 hours. He seemed like a nice guy. Before I knew it, we were in his apartement making love. I awoke the next day with his sleeping face right next to mine. I almost forgot what had happend and left quietly. I was so scared...I lost my virginity to a goth guy I barely knew! I went back to my place and he called me. I forgot I gave him my phone number...O_o. He started talking to me all mean like saying, "hey where the **** are you?!" I said I was busy and hung up. He kept calling the rest of the day but I didn't answer. I was so freaked out by the fact I did it for the first time and acutally started thinking, "hey what if I get pregnant??" I doubted it though but I still worried about it. I was in my first year of college after all. 1 month later I find out I'm pregnant. I freaked out and told Joel. He was so mad.
"your pregnant?? Aww ****it! How the **** am I supposed to do this?!" I was sad that I had made him so mad. I told him it wasnt my fault but he didnt listen. He kept swearing at me.
When I was 6 months pregnant, he came to my apartement telling me to put the baby up for adoption! I refused and was so angry at him. This baby was his, too! I couldn't believe how selfish he was being.

Then, on July 18th, Evee Sawa Carson was born. He didn't come when she was born. He left when I was 7 months pregnant. But now I'm trying to give Evee the best possible life she can have and I'm not telling her anything about her father. She's asked questions, but I'm not replying to them. If she did find him, he'd probably hurt her since I remember him saying when I was 7 months pregnant, "I hate this baby even if its not born yet.". I'm coping with it the best I can though.
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Old 04-20-2006, 11:28 PM   #2
CA
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Hi Janinne,




The older she gets the more questions she will ask. If she is old enough to ask she is old enough to get answers in an age appropriate manner.

I think our daughters may share the same name although my daughter's name is spelled Evie it is pronounced Evee. Short for Evelyn.

welcome again.. please stick around and enjoy the forum.
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Old 04-20-2006, 11:40 PM   #3
Janinne
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thankyou. My daughters name is Evee not short for anything. Hehe I was inspired to create my own name and when I heard of the pokemon Evee six years later I was kind of surprised. LOL
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Old 04-23-2006, 08:02 PM   #4
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Hi Janinne,
In my opinion you have seemed to do well this far into mommy-hood. I'm sure you'll do whats right by your daughter. Good luck and keep coming back.
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i went crazy again today, but it's okay
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Old 04-25-2006, 01:59 PM   #5
blessed1s
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I agree with CA about the questions. My father had to deal with a similar situation and through out his life has resented the fact that no one would be straight with him about his heritage. He has had to dig it up for himself and now many of the voices that could have answered his questions are just now telling him the truth now that they are on their death bed's.

Now I am having a child and the father does not want to be involved, but he comes from a good family thus my advantage to give my child their history from both sides. For this I am greatful and my promise to myself and to my child is to always be honest with eachother. If they have questions give them the truth in return they will do the same for you. Resentment is an aweful thing to deal with. Your daughter trusts you, give her every reason to continue doing so.

Best of the best to you and your daughter!
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Old 05-09-2006, 05:09 PM   #6
kari2482
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I don't know if you are still reading this message but if so here you go. My mom hads custody of my sisters first 3 kids. The two oldest are boys and they used to ask about their father. All my mom said was that he wasn't ready to be a daddy yet. She left it at that. I think it was 6 months to a year the boys finally realized what my mom was saying. She never put down their father and she said was he wasn't ready. That is what I will have to tell my 6 month old when he starts asking, because I know his dad won't stick around after a few years of seeing my son.

Just remember don't put down her father because he is a part of her. She might think that there is a part of her you don't like. Trust me on this one. Just next time she ask just tell her what I said after asking a few times she should catch on. I wish you the best of luck.
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