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Old 03-07-2004, 10:27 PM   #1
Jayna
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Well, the baby's father and I looks like are going to stop talking again. He did this to me before on Christmas and now he's doing it again around my birthday (it was March 4th, but this has been a drawn out process). He promised he'd be here for me and that this time would be so special for me. I'm now 31 weeks and have been miserable from all the stuff he's put me through. Unfortunately I just can't be happy and excited about anything baby related without him there. It's all because of that promise. . . I started imagining everything we'd do and how much fun it would be. Imagining doing it alone just isn't cutting it. Anyone have any tips on how to survive this pregnancy? I'm going nuts, I just feel like I'll never be happy again, but to the world I have to show a happy face because Yay I'm pregnant.
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Old 03-07-2004, 10:27 PM   #2
Jayna
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Well, the baby's father and I looks like are going to stop talking again. He did this to me before on Christmas and now he's doing it again around my birthday (it was March 4th, but this has been a drawn out process). He promised he'd be here for me and that this time would be so special for me. I'm now 31 weeks and have been miserable from all the stuff he's put me through. Unfortunately I just can't be happy and excited about anything baby related without him there. It's all because of that promise. . . I started imagining everything we'd do and how much fun it would be. Imagining doing it alone just isn't cutting it. Anyone have any tips on how to survive this pregnancy? I'm going nuts, I just feel like I'll never be happy again, but to the world I have to show a happy face because Yay I'm pregnant.
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Old 03-07-2004, 10:55 PM   #3
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Imagine doing all the things with your baby/child. The joys, wonder, new discoveries, new EVERYTHING .. far outweighs the stresses!
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Old 03-08-2004, 07:02 AM   #4
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Jayna,
there is no reason at all you can't go through your pregnancy alone and be perfectly happy. You can concentrate completely on yourself and the baby. You can sleep when you want, you can get up at 4am if the baby doesn't let you sleep and have a hot bath, you can have a snack in the middle of the night, you can go for long walks without someone asking when you'll be back. And all this without stupid comments, like 'what's wrong NOW with you, or, no, I don't want to go for a 2 hour walk with you, or, don't eat so much, the doctor said...To be honest, it was beautiful to me. The only thing I was a bit worried about was the birth itself, and how to get to the hospital. But I was so glad there was nobody with me except the midwife and a doctor during delivery. So, I find even that is better done alone. A man only starts worrying himself (during delivery) without reason, and that again worries you, and it's all ____ you don't need to deal with when you're alone and only with 'professional', or at least experienced (e.g. your mother) help. JUST TRY TO FORGET EVERYTHING BUT YOU AND YOUR BABY.
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Old 03-08-2004, 05:51 PM   #5
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im sorry you feel this way! but if you really want to keep this baby then no matter what, you need to realize that your ex (or whatever he is to you)is not mature and you cant count on him. so really why are you so down on not having him around? he makes you feel terrible right? i was in a situation some what like yours. the father of my son to me while pregnant in my mind ran like this (and this was no matter what anyone said of adivce like im saying to you right now)... i loved him...he doesnt mean to be like this...____ come around....he loves me too much thats why hes confussed...BLAH! i kept finding excusses for him. this is the time in your life you needed him the most and he probably is the one person you know is making you THE MOST depressed! YOU CANNOT CHANGE A PERSON, YOU CANNOT CHANGE A PERSON, YOU CANNOT CHANGE A PERSON!!! no matter how hard you try. have you written your thoughts down? keep a journal? or try and stay positive with a baby journal you can show your child! (write good things only!!!) you are in for a ride once that baby comes. you will not want to put up with this s**t from him when you are tired from no sleep and a huge reality check smacks you in the face on how much work it is to raise a child. i know for me there were moments i was so over tired or got upset over money issues that i thought to myself he better not call right now or ill loose it on him! i felt this way bcs he was out doing whatever he wanted! see i chose to stay in a neutral relationship with my ex. i dont care now (6 mo. after giving birth) if he wants to be in or out of my sons life. why worry about that. im staying at a neutral level so my son can make a choice and not feel uncomfortable for how he feels when he is able to decide on what he thinks of this whole thing. YOU HAVE COME THIS FAR WHY LET HIM BOTHER YOU ON THE LAST STREACH???? i believe that you can do it since you have come this far and have reached out for some advice. we are all scared when were 31 weeks preggo thinking that this one person you felt the safest with has betrayed you. i KNOW how that feels. i know how many times i cried so hard that all i wanted to do was die that very moment bcs i didnt have a positive thought in my head. when i was calm i really tried to keep positive bcs it isnt good to be so depressed while pregnant! its not good for you so its not ever good for this perfect soul you got inside you! teach your child what you have learned in life.show your child you are able to do anything you desire! you are more than capable being a single mom you just dont want to. either did i but im now seeing the great benefits it has. im able to think of myself and my child. education is the best thing i can give not only myself but with that a great life for my son. you get to see that not caring for someone at that level is nice bcs you get to know yourself so much better. you get to do things for yourself! how great! you realize with your child how much we take life for granted. you realize who your true back bones are from others. get to taste that bitter sweet and apreciate it much more bcs youve experience that deep pain. you call the shots. you are so loved and admired by your child and all you had to do was give them life bcs they love you for you!!! and you also get to realize that life is better bcs you feel that you made the best choices not only for yourself but for the love of your life! hope you have a smooth delivery and an even more great life with this little piece of heaven you are blessed to have enter your world. CONGRATS!
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Old 03-09-2004, 08:31 PM   #6
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Hey
I sorry your feeling down. I'm going through the same thing. I'm 15 weeks pregnant. My baby's fater and I broke up just under a month ago. He wasn't there at all for me the first few weeks. His only imput was to yell at me and make me feel awful. Now all the sudden this past weekend he talked to me and was very sweet and apoligized for the fighting and said he was getting excited. Right then and there all these mixed feeling came up. Does he wanna try again to make it work. Is he really gonna come to the doctor with me, are we gonna hang out and get along and be the best parents ever? Now its Tuesday and I can't get a hold of him. And all those feelings feel like a lie. I just wanna cry at this point. I never know he could be busy but its not fare. I have to be the upset one and carry this child alone. It hurts alot. I don't know what to think myself. I have just put in my head to be strong. That I may be doing this on my own. And in the very end I'm going to have this wonderful little baby that is going to love me no matter what. A love that no guy could ever give. Its hard because I know I'd take my ex back in a heart beat even though that is bad. I tune to my friends for help and support. They have helpped me through alot. Just them being there has made things seem better even though I hurt deep down inside. I know its easy to tell people how to deal with problems but sometimes its hard to take your own advice. Try to keep your head up. This baby is a blessing to you. Don't let some little man take away from your enjoyment. Good Luck!
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