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Old 04-12-2009, 11:38 PM   #1
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Default Spin-Off... Co-sleeping?

Since I've promised to behave myself and try not to hijack other people's threads, I decided to start one of my own...

After a mini-hijack regarding people co-sleeping with their kiddos, I was curious about people's opinions on it.

So... do you co-sleep with your kids? If you do, what age were they when you started? When you stopped (if you've stopped)? Why did you decide to co-sleep?

And if you don't... why not?

So I guess I'll start... I know some people feel strongly that co-sleeping with newborns/infants is actually safer for the baby. I've been told that there are statistics supporting that proper co-sleeping with newborns actually reduces the risk of SIDS, despite what the AAP says. I have mixed feelings about this... I feel that my babies are safer sleeping as far away from me as possible! LOL. So... I do not ever co-sleep with my son, who is almost 8 months old. I think my daughter was about 2 years old the first time I let her sleep in my bed. At first it was only on occasion. Now that she's 5, she sleeps in my bed most of the time. My son's crib is in the same room. My daughter also has a toddler sized bed in my room, but right now it's covered in toys. And she's almost too tall for it anyway. I feel safer having my kids at least in the room with me. I don't feel like I can protect them very well if I have no idea what's going on in their room at the other end of the house. I don't sleep very well if I can't at least see them.
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Old 04-13-2009, 01:55 AM   #2
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My daughter started sleeping with me when she was about four. She just started crawling in bed with me every night. I got her sleeping back in her own bed when she was seven. Then she started having night terrors and screaming the house down. So, due to some trauma, she now starts out and stays in my bed.

I have been told by a couple of counselors that this is not a rare thing for single parents. The kids need security and the single parent feels like there is more protection involved with the child with the parent. I know that I feel this way.

My friends and family think that it is horrible. But they have not had to live through the night terrors that she has---which she does not have when she sleeps with me.....so they can just kiss their own patooties.
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Old 04-13-2009, 08:15 AM   #3
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I never let the boys sleep in my bed (I did nap with them on the couch when they were little), but Grace was a whole different monster. There where some nights when she would go to bed in her own bed (this started at around age 2, prior to that she slept in her own bed), but then would wake in the middle of the night and come in my room. Other nights I just couldn't get her to go to sleep so I put her in my bed so I could get some sleep. Now she goes to sleep in her own bed just fine and her room is right across the hall from mine, but at some point during the night (usually after 3 AM) she gets up and comes in my room. Some nights it isn't such a big deal, but some nights, I have to move to the couch to try to get some sleep. Yes she is bed hog, you wouldn't think a child that small would need that much room. I have a hard enough time sleeping due to the pain of my illness, with her kicking and hitting me and laying on top of me, some nights it is just to much. I don't know what wakes her for sure, I have heard her talk in her sleep, and she falls out of bed more then a anyone else I know, But I have never heard her scream or cry out like from a night terror.
I have family members that tell me I shouldn't let her sleep in my bed, that I am spoiling her, that it is inappropriate. I just tell them they have no idea whats it like. Some nights I am to tired to put her back in her own bed, some nights I feel needed and am glad I can comfort her, in the winter she is a little furnace and keeps my bed warmer. I tell them mind their own business or walk a mile in my shoes and then get back to me.
I know people that sleep with their kids everynight till the kids are 9 or 10 or even older. The only problem I know of is for single people who do this and then get into a relationship, it can be hard to get a child into their own bed when they are so used to sleeping with you if our relationship would reach the point of cohabitating. I even know some married couples that let their kids sleep with them, they have some very novel ideas about intimate times.
I don't know if this helps or not, but I thought I would share so you at least had some more reference to go from.
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Old 04-13-2009, 10:01 AM   #4
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E sleeps with me and has since she was born. I can't sleep knowing she is in another room and I don't know what's going on in there. We are on the first floor and the windows are old and one doesn't even really lock!!! Plus, she had breathing issues when she was little. Still does, really. And because of all the ____ and threats to her that went on with the ex I just couldn't sleep not being able to reach out and see that she was okay at night. I feel we are this TEAM....this tight 2-person family and I don't ever let anyone sway me on her being in the bed with me. I feel she is safer there. She is starting to get more squirmy as she gets older, though.....and if I were to have a relationship that ever GOT that far, I don't have a plan on what to do about the sleeping arrangements. My friends, family, and now the new counselor think it's awful that I let her sleep in the bed with me and always make snarky, snide little comments......I just ignore them. They aren't me...they aren't E...and they haven't been through what I've been through with her. Walk in my shoes.....then tell me you wouldn't do the same.
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Old 04-13-2009, 07:01 PM   #5
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Hi-
I started out when my 2 year old was born hearing all the stories that you shouldn't co-sleep, blah, blah and thought, "well I'll never co-sleep". But when you nurse, as I did, with a 4 week old that gets hungry in the middle of the night, I usually just put her in bed with me and I always fell asleep while nursing. You do definitely have to take precautions with an infant, though, including not letting pillows or blankets cover their face.
Fast forward to today - I'm still nursing (still not sure how I'm going to gently wean her :O ). She still sleeps with me. I'm single, she gets comfort from it and I don't mind. There are nights when she won't get the heck off me, though, and wants to be glued onto me. Co-sleeping definitely isn't for everyone, though, and if mom or dad isn't getting enough sleep, then it's time to sleep separately.
Thankfully we have a queen size bed. When she says she wants her own bed, that will be the day she sleeps by herself.
As for people who think co-sleeping is crazy, too bad. In fact, the subject rarely comes up with my family or friends. What I do at home between 9pm-6am is just no one's business. I think my 2 year old is doing just fine.

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Old 04-13-2009, 09:14 PM   #6
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Smile co sleeping

My little girl has slept with me since birth. I paniced alot when she was born and was scared that I would not hear her breathing so I put her in bed with me. She has slept with me every since. She sleeps in her room on occasion but I do not puch her out. There are many days that I wish she would sleep alone but I don't push it. I work so much that I miss her through the day and at night I like to lay and give her kisses and tell her that I love her several times throughout the night. If she is not in my bed then I can't do that. I am really not in a big hurry to get her out but when she is ready to go I will let her. I am single and I am sure that I will not be meeting anyone any time soon so I am not worried.
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Old 04-13-2009, 09:24 PM   #7
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One thing I made sure of is that anywhere I put Luke down to sleep (or if he just falls asleep), I can sleep next to him. I have a bassinet in the living room which I will swap out for the pack and play when he gets bigger, and for the bedroom (since his bedroom is actually the front half of my bedroom) I have a co-sleeper and the crib.... So basically Luke will never be more then a few steps from where I am sleeping. Did I go overboard? Yeah, I know I did... But it's for my own sanity. I doubt I will be able to sleep if he's not within a few steps.
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Old 04-13-2009, 11:34 PM   #8
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I don't think it's right for other people to judge a mother's or a family's sleeping habits. It's none of their business. And clearly they haven't actually done any real research on the issue if they're telling you it's unhealthy. If you want to co-sleep with your kids until they leave for college , then you should be able to do so without people judging you. Reading about the few of you who get criticized for letting your kids sleep with you prompted to me to seek out some research for you, in case you wanted to read up on the issue, so you have some info to back up your decision next time someone tells you it's not healthy for your kids. Regardless of the reasons why you choose to let your kids sleep with you, there's actually research that supports what you're doing as being healthier for your child. Another forum I belong to has a lot of members who co-sleep with their kids. So I basically just posted something there earlier today and asked what they would tell to a mom who co-slept but was always getting ____ from people about it.

So here's my summary for anyone who cares to read about it...

Here's a page with links to a few articles about co-sleeping:

http://www.mothering.com/search.html...sa=Search#1301

This article is kind of a summary of different research regarding co-sleeping:

http://www.nd.edu/~jmckenn1/lab/longterm.html

If anyone's interested in reading about other people's co-sleeping experiences, I was pointed me to this forum. (I'm not a member, so don't bother trying to look for me to call me out on anything ) The forum is all families that co-sleep.

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...splay.php?f=37

And finally, a quote from someone on my other forum. She co-sleeps with her 3 year old and her 9 month old...

I don't understand why it's not only acceptable but expected to stop being with your children at night. It's not only fine, it's encouraged to put your child in a box and walk out of the room for 12 hours at a time. Yet if the same mom props a kid in front of a tv or leaves it outside alone in the backyard, she's a horrible parent.

She's with her child the vast majority of his day. He's never wondering where mom is, crying from being lonely, or waking up alone and looking for her. He's right beside her, and she him, the entire night. If she wants to shut people up, just have her ask them what other situation it would be acceptable to ignore her child for 10 hours straight?

(PS- I'm not banging on crib sleepers, I'm just putting the argument in a different light that maybe some people need to see in order to feel confident in their decision)


Also, there's a doctor by the name of William Sears... if you google his name, I'm sure you can come up with a ton more info. I know he's a big proponent of co-sleeping.

Hope some of this maybe helps a little the next time someone starts telling you that you shouldn't let your kids sleep with you, you can actually give them an educated answer as to why you should!
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Old 04-14-2009, 12:25 PM   #9
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Ah, as far as I'm concerned with co-sleeping, you're preaching to the choir. Just like co-sleeping doesn't work for everyone, letting your young child sleep by themselves isn't going to work for everyone either. I'm convinced that the vast majority of parents, whether they admit it or not, will sleep with their child at one time or another.
I've never heard any research or sound science to back up people's subjective opinions that a parent shouldn't sleep with their child. (Except, of course, that an infant has to be protected from smothering hazards.)
For my home, I think co-sleeping is great and so does my 2 year old. I just tune out anyone who might say it's wrong - their opinions are useless noise to me.

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Old 04-14-2009, 12:28 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SofiasMami View Post
Ah, as far as I'm concerned with co-sleeping, you're preaching to the choir.
Honestly, I really don't have an opinion on it one way or the other... I just find info like that interesting, and it frustrates me when people judge other people's parenting with nothing to back up their opinions. Just trying to help "arm" people with actual data to throw in people's faces when they start getting preachy!
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Old 04-21-2009, 08:15 AM   #11
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Believe it not not I had some one actually tell me not to tell people I sometimes sleep with my daughter because it could give them the wrong idea.
I was always of the idea that comes certain time you should put your kids to bed, turn off the light, close the door and get sometime for your self.
We started out good but when the mother and I split up she didn't have the room at her parents so they were sleeping together and after the accident when she started coming in th truck with me she was too young to sleep in the upper bunk by her self so she would sleep with me. Since then it's been an uphill battle to get her to sleep on her own room, when I bought this house I was looking for one where the master bedroom be located next to the other ones so she could be close to me so I can hear what's going on, I figure when she is older and star watching tv, talking to friends and making more noise I move to a different house where the master is in the opposite side of the house....
Bottom line I think they should sleep by themselves but don't make a big deal if they don't.
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Old 08-23-2009, 12:39 AM   #12
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Default Re: Spin-Off... Co-sleeping?

I'll weigh in...and then I'm going to bed. Alone, snif, snif...cause E is at his Dad's.
When E was an infant...and was the same with my daughter...he always slept with me. Partly cause I was nursing and partly cause I felt safer being able to see him and know he was OK.
When he became a toddler, I started putting him in his own bed in my room.
Around 4 I started insisting he sleep in his own bed most of the time...not all of the time...because I wanted to be able to watch shows when I went to bed that were not appropriate for him...nothin x rated, ...but there was language and such that he didn't need to hear. I also didn't want him to get too attached to the idea and have it be a big problem later.
Now, at 8, he sleeps in his own bed 90% of the time. When I pick him up from Dad's he'll probably sleep with me that night...maybe two...and if he is sick, or scared for some reason, I let him sleep with me then, also. Most of the time it just isn't possible. Not if I hope to get any sleep. For somebody so little....have mercy. The kid inevitably ends up horizontal across the bed, in the middle somehow, with me tottering on the edge with two size 3 feet in my back. One thing I love though...he giggles in his sleep. Always.
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Old 08-23-2009, 01:09 PM   #13
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Default Re: Spin-Off... Co-sleeping?

My 13 year old every once an awhile will crawl in my bed at 4 in the morning I never say anything because very soon he will be to old to even want to spend anytime with me so Im loving any cuddle time I get. Selfish I know. But thats me.
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Old 08-23-2009, 04:08 PM   #14
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Default Re: Spin-Off... Co-sleeping?

C is 2 1/2 and spends most of his sleeping time in my bed. I started letting him sleep with me about a year ago in the interest of being able to get some sleep myself. At the time, he was refusing to sleep in his own bed and would just lay there and cry. We had been co-sleeping ever since and I never even bothered to put him in his own bed anymore. Just last weekend, I finally converted his crib to a transitional bed and now I'm trying to get him to sleep on his own again. He's fighting it big time. He gets up and I put him back to bed for a good 2 to 3 hours before he finally falls asleep. About half the time, I never get him to sleep and have to put him in my bed to start with. Plus, even when he is in his own bed, he generally comes into my room about 2 am and I let him in my bed for the rest of the night. It's progress, but I agree with the general consensus that there's nothing wrong with co-sleeping.
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Old 08-24-2009, 07:28 AM   #15
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Default Re: Spin-Off... Co-sleeping?

E has been co-sleeping with me since he was born. He is four now and is still afraid of the dark and not willing to sleep in the next room. I have never really given it much thought and feel that he will move out when the time is right. I know our days together are limited and I treasure these days. I am sure there are many who disagree. It is almost three years of just E and me. Since we leave the house at 8 am and return only at 7 p.m. we both feel secure co-sleeping.
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Old 09-14-2009, 06:54 PM   #16
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Default Re: Spin-Off... Co-sleeping?

My 8 yr old son starting crawling into bed with me regularly 3 yrs ago. I don't know why. Last year he was really sick and I had to take him to Sick kids hospital. They had me give him some baby tylenol and when he wouldn't swallow it, I told him then they'd admit him and give it to him intravenously (he had a very high fever). He then screamed out "but I can't sleep without you!!". He was 7 !! I've just accepted it now though and figure he'll get out before College (I hope) LOL
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Old 09-14-2009, 10:12 PM   #17
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Default Re: Spin-Off... Co-sleeping?

Everyone seems to think this is ok, and I tend to agree. But most of you are moms sleeping with your kids. How would you feel if your daughter was sleeping with daddy while visiting there? Would you not be as happy about it? This issue can come up and cause many people to want to run into court to have something changed.
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Old 09-14-2009, 10:56 PM   #18
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Default Re: Spin-Off... Co-sleeping?

I always got the " it is bad to let your kids sleep with you" ____. My whole idea on the subject is ...If it makes everyone seel happy safe and secure why not. My kids, 4, 6, and 13 now all go to bed in their own beds, but most mornings it is not unusual to find one, two in bed with me. Not unusual to find them sleeping together in their beds. They all started off sleeping with me while nursing and I never saw a big hurry to kick them out. Saturday nights are our movie night and we all pile into my bed with a bowl of popcorn and watch a family movie.
I am not sure if this is a fact or not but I have heard that we are one of the very few countries that does not practice co-sleeping. That most places co-sleep untill at least school age.
Oh and sick kiddos....definately go to bed with Mama.
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Old 09-15-2009, 08:31 AM   #19
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Default Re: Spin-Off... Co-sleeping?

I have been thinking about this for awhile now and just dont know how I am ever going to get C to sleep by herself. She had a crib never slept in it, only when someone else put her in it for a small nap, definetly not the mama. Fast forward to a few months ago and I go and get a toddler bed, tried that doesnt work either. At first when we got it she had her afternoon nap in it and woke up really mixed up and upset. The toddler bed is in with me but is across the room. So I was thinking I would push it up beside my bed up against a wall and try that? It will look crazy but... IDK for me right now it is not really an issue her sleeping with me, but it would be nice to get both my but cheeks on the bed at night Little turkey takes up so much room. Any suggestions
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Old 03-17-2010, 03:28 PM   #20
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Default Re: Spin-Off... Co-sleeping?

Quote:
Originally Posted by comingup4air View Post
E sleeps with me and has since she was born. I can't sleep knowing she is in another room and I don't know what's going on in there. We are on the first floor and the windows are old and one doesn't even really lock!!! Plus, she had breathing issues when she was little. Still does, really. And because of all the ____ and threats to her that went on with the ex I just couldn't sleep not being able to reach out and see that she was okay at night. I feel we are this TEAM....this tight 2-person family and I don't ever let anyone sway me on her being in the bed with me. I feel she is safer there. She is starting to get more squirmy as she gets older, though.....and if I were to have a relationship that ever GOT that far, I don't have a plan on what to do about the sleeping arrangements. My friends, family, and now the new counselor think it's awful that I let her sleep in the bed with me and always make snarky, snide little comments......I just ignore them. They aren't me...they aren't E...and they haven't been through what I've been through with her. Walk in my shoes.....then tell me you wouldn't do the same.
This! My son slept with me since he was 3 days old, the reason is because the hospital wouldn't let him sleep with me, so as soon as I got him home, he started to co-sleep. Co-sleeping is a must when breastfeeding! It rocks to be able to just plop a ____ in his mouth when he wakes up at night and go right back to sleep while he is nursing away.

I just didn't want him far away from me. Even the bassinett right beside the bed was too far, and he hated it. When he was a newborn, I used to curl up around him and fall asleep like that to keep him warm. I miss those days....
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Old 03-17-2010, 03:54 PM   #21
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Default Re: Spin-Off... Co-sleeping?

My son co-slept w/ me since the day he was born, (he had sleep apnea and would stop breathing at night) He will sometimes crawl in bed w/ me if he is not feeling well or gets afraid of the dark. My daughter never realy slept w/ me, i wanted her to but it did not work out.
I think that this kind of discision should be up to the parent and child.
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Old 04-26-2010, 06:53 PM   #22
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Default Re: Spin-Off... Co-sleeping?

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Originally Posted by JRRF View Post
Everyone seems to think this is ok, and I tend to agree. But most of you are moms sleeping with your kids. How would you feel if your daughter was sleeping with daddy while visiting there? Would you not be as happy about it? This issue can come up and cause many people to want to run into court to have something changed.
I used to sleep in my dad's bed when I stayed with him at the weekends. It was fine except he used to hug me so tightly I could barely breathe, .

SOmetimes when DD sleeps at her dads and needs comfort he will put a mattress on the floor next to her. When he gets a decent sized bed of his own (I took the queen and he has been sleeping in a single since) she will probably sleep in there too. FIne with me. I trust him.

My daughter swings between her bed and mine. Slept in my bed all the time when she was wee much to my disappointment as i wanted my own space, but I love it now she isn't hanging off my ____. SHe will happily sleep in her own bed all night if she is feeling alright as well.
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Old 05-18-2010, 05:10 PM   #23
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Default Re: Spin-Off... Co-sleeping?

Like many others i nursed my son for 1yr. At nights it was a must to co-sleep. He was colic and would cry and cry and cry. When we let him sleep with us FINALLY there was some rest. Now he is 6, and still does sleep with me a lot. When I was living near ex's family they all got on my case- put him in his crib, do this do that. its wrong.. under pressure i caved and tried. He would just cry and cry. Finally I said the heck with them, I am doing what my child needs. Ex hubby was perfectly fine with it also. Our son would lay down between us and cuddle with either of us that he wished. If father and I wanted private time we went to another room. Simple as that.
As a mother it tells me that he needed that comfort of having his parents near. It doesn't matter what the reason is, if your child needs you they need you.
My son even now sometimes sleeps in his own bed (I do try). But, he got slick and would pretend he was sleeping and wait till I went to sleep then climb up in my bed. So if I need some leg room I wait till he is sleeping and put him back in bed. If wakes up and comes back so be it.

Don't get me wrong I would love some personal space but I know it will come in time. It won't last forever. Do not worry what others say about co sleeping. Many many many cultures do it with no problems or complaints. Some have gotten all upitty since the last century. Be a good parent and give your child the attention/ comfort that they need.


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Old 12-08-2010, 09:57 PM   #24
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Default Re: Spin-Off... Co-sleeping?

OMG... I know these posts are older but they make me feel so much better! I just joined today and I have been dealing with guilt over allowing myself to give in to my son asking me to sleep in his room. and no i cannot pass up "mommy i need a huggy" at any time. It's just me and my son and we are all we got. I think a lot of it is fear...fear on his part because he's afraid the fire alarm will go off, and fear on my part because he's had seizures twice while he was sleeping and I'm afraid to leave him alone for too long. We are working on it. He's a sensitve little guy and worries way too much about me--if i'm not at school to get him or visit when i say... he worries i'm dead. He's had the night terrors as well and i just want to be there in case... i hate to concentrate on the fears and the worst, but the experience of watching your child seize and suddenly stop moving sent me into overdrive. I thought I was not normal but i feel so much better and less guilty about sleeping wth my little one. I know we'll both start to let go...and I look forward and fear that day all at once. But for now, I feel he is safer with me by his side.
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Old 12-09-2010, 08:33 AM   #25
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Default Re: Spin-Off... Co-sleeping?

I never ever had my son sleep in with me when he.was a newborn, i was terrified i would roll over and suffocate him coz im such a heavy sleeper, but when he got to about a year old if he woke in the night i would put him in our bed. Now he's 2 and often gets up through the night, so i tend to get into his bed with him.
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Old 03-30-2011, 01:51 PM   #26
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Default Re: Spin-Off... Co-sleeping?

I'm a 35yr old single dad of twin 9yr olds. My son wants me to lay with him as he falls asleep, so I do and we talk and I rub his head for a while. My daughter wants to sleep in my bed with me. But seeing as how she still has an occasional wet bed, she doesn't go to sleep in my bed. On the weekends, if she wakes up early and she's dry, I'll let her crawl into my bed and we sleep the rest of the morning. I cuddle with her and rub her back, and when we're finally awake, I tickle her and we play. She thinks she is still a little 4 yr old that weighs nothing, but she's 75 lbs, not that light! It's all innocent but I worry that if somehow, someone found out, or if she told someone, it would look bad. We're just cuddling and bonding! what's wrong with that? I am ALL she has in this world, and her brother, but THAT'S IT! I will cuddle with her as long as she is comfortable and wants me too.
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Old 05-31-2011, 10:15 AM   #27
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Default Re: Spin-Off... Co-sleeping?

I got a different flavor with each kid. My 1st slept with me from day one. I am not a heavy sleeper so I didn't have any concerns about saftey. I actually stopped sleeping with her when she was about 2 yrs old because everytime she rolled over I woke up, I wasn't sleeping at all.

My youngest daughter was very indepentant from day one. She actually didn't start wanted to sleep with me until she was about 3. They go back and forth right now. It's been bad again since my stbx moved out. When he isn't in bed they think they have rights to the other side of my bed. Usually I let them switch nights.
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Old 06-02-2011, 01:18 PM   #28
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Default Re: Spin-Off... Co-sleeping?

My kids sleep with me on and off... I'm so torn - it's awful . They both slept with me as infants and I got them both completely out of my bed about 3 years ago. Then we moved... and they started sleeping with me again for comfort. Every once in a while I try to get them in their own beds but they end up sneaking to sleep with me and I really miss sleeping with them.

But I'm also in a relationship and sleeping with your kids doesn't always work out :-)

If they're not with me, they sleep together... I figure they'll grow out of it sometime but I wont stop them now - even if some people don't like the fact they are opposite sexes (they're 4 & 5 yo)
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Old 07-31-2011, 12:12 AM   #29
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Default Re: Spin-Off... Co-sleeping?

Quote:
Originally Posted by JRRF View Post
Everyone seems to think this is ok, and I tend to agree. But most of you are moms sleeping with your kids. How would you feel if your daughter was sleeping with daddy while visiting there? Would you not be as happy about it? This issue can come up and cause many people to want to run into court to have something changed.
To answer the original post, I co-slept starting the day I brought both of my kids home after giving birth. Made night nursing easier. They are 11 & 9 and we just stopped.

To address what you said above:

I wished my ex had slept with the youngest (who does happen to be a daughter) when overnights started. It would have made them easier on her. He didn't. Oh well, that's life. Nothing I can do about that.
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Old 10-06-2011, 04:26 AM   #30
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Default Re: Spin-Off... Co-sleeping?

I couldn't bear the thought of my tiny newborn baby sleeping away from me but I didn't want to crush her either... I would put the bassinet right next to my bed.

When she was too big for the bassinet, I tried to put her in a crib in another room but it felt unnatural and wrong. The one true, fabulous, glorious statement my ex ever made was when he turned to me one night and said, you know, we don't have to follow the textbook. From that point on, she slept with us every night.

When I split up from my ex, we only had one bed so we continued to sleep together out of necessity. When she was four, I purchased a lovely bunk bed for her. She played with it and on it but still crawled into bed with me at night. When she was five, she would crawl into her bunk bed for a bedtime story but still sleep in my bed. When she was six, she fell asleep in her bed and except for some bumpy nights, she slept in her own bed ever since.

Just as I don't think we need to "follow the text book" for every parenting situation, I also think sleeping arrangements are personal and best left to the individual families.
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Old 10-06-2011, 11:21 AM   #31
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Default Re: Spin-Off... Co-sleeping?

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Originally Posted by Zazoo888 View Post
I couldn't bear the thought of my tiny newborn baby sleeping away from me but I didn't want to crush her either... I would put the bassinet right next to my bed.

When she was too big for the bassinet, I tried to put her in a crib in another room but it felt unnatural and wrong. The one true, fabulous, glorious statement my ex ever made was when he turned to me one night and said, you know, we don't have to follow the textbook. From that point on, she slept with us every night.

When I split up from my ex, we only had one bed so we continued to sleep together out of necessity. When she was four, I purchased a lovely bunk bed for her. She played with it and on it but still crawled into bed with me at night. When she was five, she would crawl into her bunk bed for a bedtime story but still sleep in my bed. When she was six, she fell asleep in her bed and except for some bumpy nights, she slept in her own bed ever since.

Just as I don't think we need to "follow the text book" for every parenting situation, I also think sleeping arrangements are personal and best left to the individual families.
I am in a very similar situation with my daughter who will be 6 in November. She spends most nights with me but we do have a goal that after she turns 6 she will start sleeping in her own bed. Frankly I will be ok with her staying with me until she is ready to move on. She is healthy, well adjusted and sweet so there certainly hasn't been any harm done by keeping her close. Good for your ex for a moment of clarity about not having to follow the textbook, and for you for recognizing the importance of parenting your way.
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Old 10-06-2011, 06:57 PM   #32
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Default Re: Spin-Off... Co-sleeping?

i co-slept with boy of my boys (sometimes both ). I miss it honestly, it was great to be cuddled up with them and listen to them breathe. Both are now in their own beds, both co-slept until apprx 3 yrs old... then sporactically until 5ish (but they also shared their own bed due to living situation durning this time, so they still had one another), but now both have their own rooms and beds. My youngest will occasionally wake up and crawl into either his brothers bed or mine; however, its soo inconsisant I don't really count it as co-sleeping.
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