Wild Dancing Thanksgivng Turkey Please Read If your considering Abortion - Single Parents Forum: Single Family Voices
All forums, topics and discussions are geared to single parents and the issues faced with single parenting.
Support a single parent today and one will support you back!
         


Go Back   Single Parents Forum: Single Family Voices >
(``'·.¸(``'·.¸ Single Parent Mothers ¸.·'´´)¸.·'´´)
> Pregnant and Alone


~ Donate Today ~ PLEASE
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 04-30-2008, 12:35 AM   #1
Shardee'
I am New
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Baltimore, MD
Posts: 13
Rep Power: 0
Shardee' is an unknown quantity at this point
Default

I recently, January 29th, had an Abortion and would like to fill those in, the ones who have or are considering abortion, on a few things.

POST-ABORTION is not easy. When i had the abortion i felt so relieved, but didnt realize how much it would effect my life. Its almost like a haunting, missing your baby, wondering what he or she would have looked like. Your constantly reminded of your baby by seeing pregnant women and children, it seems as though I never before payed this much attention to children until now. I became obsessed with fertility and had to fight myself from creating a "replacement" baby. I began to hate the people around me who persuaded me to have the abortion, including my friends and family. Even the smallest things can trigger thoughts about your baby, whether good or bad, and i began to over-think every decision i made scared i was going to make the wrong one. Most of my friends have had abortions and were ok with their decisions, i never knew i would of taken it this hard. . . . . I dont feel i regret my decision, i made the best choice for me with the information I HAD AT THE TIME. Nor can i go into the past, only pray to God for strenght and forgiveness.

I desided to see a counselor to help me work through the aftermath of my decision. She, as well as project Rachel (A group that specailizes in Post-Abortion Trama) have been amazing to me, helping me to sort though my feelings and properly go through the grieving process (after all, i did lose someone who was close and precious to me) not to mention the love from God.

If you think that Abortion is the easy answer, please think again. There is nothing easy about knowingly getting rid of your baby. I'm not here to judge anyone, nor make anyone chaneg their mind, just informing soon to be mothers to CAREFULLY EVALUTE your choices, and know that Abortion might seem like the best choice in your life, at the time, but might actually be one of the hardest things youll have to deal with. Take it from me PLEASE. I wish there was a post like this when i was pregnant. . . . So listen carefully. Go seek help and advice. Be strong and prepared. Nothing about the choice your about to make, whether to keep the baby or not, will be easy.
Shardee' is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-30-2008, 12:35 AM   #2
Shardee'
I am New
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Baltimore, MD
Posts: 13
Rep Power: 0
Shardee' is an unknown quantity at this point
Default

I recently, January 29th, had an Abortion and would like to fill those in, the ones who have or are considering abortion, on a few things.

POST-ABORTION is not easy. When i had the abortion i felt so relieved, but didnt realize how much it would effect my life. Its almost like a haunting, missing your baby, wondering what he or she would have looked like. Your constantly reminded of your baby by seeing pregnant women and children, it seems as though I never before payed this much attention to children until now. I became obsessed with fertility and had to fight myself from creating a "replacement" baby. I began to hate the people around me who persuaded me to have the abortion, including my friends and family. Even the smallest things can trigger thoughts about your baby, whether good or bad, and i began to over-think every decision i made scared i was going to make the wrong one. Most of my friends have had abortions and were ok with their decisions, i never knew i would of taken it this hard. . . . . I dont feel i regret my decision, i made the best choice for me with the information I HAD AT THE TIME. Nor can i go into the past, only pray to God for strenght and forgiveness.

I desided to see a counselor to help me work through the aftermath of my decision. She, as well as project Rachel (A group that specailizes in Post-Abortion Trama) have been amazing to me, helping me to sort though my feelings and properly go through the grieving process (after all, i did lose someone who was close and precious to me) not to mention the love from God.

If you think that Abortion is the easy answer, please think again. There is nothing easy about knowingly getting rid of your baby. I'm not here to judge anyone, nor make anyone chaneg their mind, just informing soon to be mothers to CAREFULLY EVALUTE your choices, and know that Abortion might seem like the best choice in your life, at the time, but might actually be one of the hardest things youll have to deal with. Take it from me PLEASE. I wish there was a post like this when i was pregnant. . . . So listen carefully. Go seek help and advice. Be strong and prepared. Nothing about the choice your about to make, whether to keep the baby or not, will be easy.
Shardee' is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-30-2008, 06:12 PM   #3
BigBobby Male
Setting New Standards

 
BigBobby's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Lowell, MA
Posts: 1,013
Rep Power: 192
BigBobby has disabled reputation
Default

Hello,

I can't say that I have anything to add to your post, as I'm a man and have never gone through what you have experienced.

Thank you for sharing for experience, however. It is something extremely personal and it is certain be meaningful to many of the women who read it.

Thanks,
Bobby
BigBobby is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-01-2008, 09:18 AM   #4
normajean-sugar Female
board hopless romantic
 
normajean-sugar's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: originally Pa..but Arizona is home is now. Gosh it is beautiful here :)
Posts: 504
Rep Power: 0
normajean-sugar is an unknown quantity at this point
Default

I'm sorry for your pain. Thank you for sharing your story.
__________________
http://myspace.com/sugarand3
Courage doesn't always roar, sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying "I will try again tomorrow."
normajean-sugar is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-01-2008, 09:47 AM   #5
texasgirl~jones
Board Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: ON THE PLANET EARTH
Posts: 38
Rep Power: 0
texasgirl~jones is an unknown quantity at this point
Default

thank you for sharing...
I had a miscarriage when I was 19, but I have always thought it was my fault because I wanted it to happen so bad - I wasn't eating, I was exercising all the time, I was willing this baby to go away... and she did.

But I later wrote a poem about it...
just thought I would share.

Broken Dreams, Fairy Castles
Cotton candy in my mouth
Carousel of life – and the ride is not as smooth as I expected.

Floating melodies, a lullaby
Sleep comes gently.
Waking into harsh reality is such agony.

Whispered words, a best friend’s comfort
Holding hands in a daisy field
Carefree childhood, careless innocence - gone forever, in a moment.

Wide-eyed questions, muddy fingers
All is lost, but something gained.
Whispered words build star-lit castles – on the clouds, above the sky, destined to fall down.
Promise of failure.

Cotton candy – here one minute, gone the next
Wind blowing over grassy fields only sways for a moment.
Broken dreams and the mosaic is more beautiful than the dreams were whole
texasgirl~jones is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-01-2008, 09:50 AM   #6
Jaylie
Active Board Parent
 
Jaylie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: near Boston
Posts: 290
Rep Power: 122
Jaylie will become famous soon enough
Default

Shardee...
I am sorry to hear your painful story!! I am so glad you shared it. I myself have never had an abortion, but have had some friends that have. I have, however, suffered through THREE MISSCARRIAGES and know all to well that feeling of loss and grief!! It can be so difficult...and I feel that people don't always understand the TRUE and unbearable sense of loss over this little life and how REAL it is!!
You are on the right track with getting counseling...stay with it! I know for me I needed something tangible...I went to a religous store & found an "ivory" statue of an angel holding a baby in her arms & just cried!!
I now have 3 of these on my dresser and I remember each time I see them that my precious babies are in heaven with God & His Angels and someday I'll see them. For me it was a way to make them "real" for me...because they were REAL!! Time make it better it truly does...but you never forget nor should you have to. Forgive yourself too...I am glad you posted so everyone can see it is not an easy, callous , or selfish decession. It is always HEARTWRENCHING!!
__________________
The Best Gift We Can Give Our Children Is To Follow Our Dreams... Because That Will Let Them Know They Can Follow Theirs!
Jaylie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-01-2008, 09:51 AM   #7
Jaylie
Active Board Parent
 
Jaylie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: near Boston
Posts: 290
Rep Power: 122
Jaylie will become famous soon enough
Default

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by texasgirl~jones:
thank you for sharing...
I had a miscarriage when I was 19, but I have always thought it was my fault because I wanted it to happen so bad - I wasn't eating, I was exercising all the time, I was willing this baby to go away... and she did.

But I later wrote a poem about it...
just thought I would share.

Broken Dreams, Fairy Castles
Cotton candy in my mouth
Carousel of life – and the ride is not as smooth as I expected.

Floating melodies, a lullaby
Sleep comes gently.
Waking into harsh reality is such agony.

Whispered words, a best friend’s comfort
Holding hands in a daisy field
Carefree childhood, careless innocence - gone forever, in a moment.

Wide-eyed questions, muddy fingers
All is lost, but something gained.
Whispered words build star-lit castles – on the clouds, above the sky, destined to fall down.
Promise of failure.

Cotton candy – here one minute, gone the next
Wind blowing over grassy fields only sways for a moment.
Broken dreams and the mosaic is more beautiful than the dreams were whole </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

BEAUTIFUL POEM JONESY!!!!
__________________
The Best Gift We Can Give Our Children Is To Follow Our Dreams... Because That Will Let Them Know They Can Follow Theirs!
Jaylie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-01-2008, 01:24 PM   #8
Trey's Daddy
Lively & Zealous Parent
 
Trey's Daddy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Illinois
Posts: 516
Rep Power: 142
Trey's Daddy is a jewel in the rough
Default

In case you don't remember...my story is Here....

Even though I am not a female, I can totally relate. It is a tough tough time, and very trying on the soul. Keep your head up and seek out the counseling that you require. Keep your faith in god and try to move past this bump in your road, but never forget. Always remember that what you did was the best thing you could have done in your current situation and don't allow yourself to dwell on it or beat yourself up over it. Life is a learning process and we must remember each chapter in order to advance to the next.

I am truly sorry that you are having such a hard time, but it sounds like you are doing everything that you can to help yourself. Be strong....You will be in my prayers....

-J
__________________
"to be nobody-but-myself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make me everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight, and never stop fighting..." --e.e. cummings
Trey's Daddy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-01-2008, 06:22 PM   #9
My 3 boys
Parent on Board
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Virginia
Posts: 190
Rep Power: 0
My 3 boys is an unknown quantity at this point
Default

While this it not something I have personally experienced before...I feel for you. My best friend from back home had several abortions back when we were in college. The last time I begged and pleaded with her not to and even told her I would raise the baby for her if that's what I had to do. On the day of the appointment she told me she was going to work and then had to call me later to take her to the emergency room b/c there were complications. I was upset but not nearly as upset as she has been in the years since. She now has a beautiful daughter and a son on the way, but suffered several miscarriages along the way. It's taken several years for her to realize that those miscarriages weren't her punishment for making other choices earlier in life. I think that counseling is a great idea and I applaud you for sharing your story!
__________________
My 3 boys is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-04-2008, 06:13 PM   #10
shortyof4
On the Board
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: philadelphia
Posts: 58
Rep Power: 0
shortyof4 is an unknown quantity at this point
Default

Hi Shardee, my name is Chanel when i was 17 i had an abortion , at the time I was so young and stupid that i didnt realize what i was doing I now know that it was the right thing to do at the time and i have no regrets. I now have 4 children and i dont regret any of them. I am glad that you r in counseling i too had to have someone to talk to afterwards, it helps alot. Thank you for posting this and try to forgive yourself, god will. You truly deserve it and time does make it a little better. And
shortyof4 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes


Resources: youngrobin.com
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Abortion NEAK 20 Something Single Moms 55 09-27-2008 02:59 PM
abortion or single-mum? tracy-anne Single Moms 18 08-02-2005 11:11 PM
what's abortion like? tiffany*michelle Teen Mothers 3 06-05-2003 01:14 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 03:33 PM.

Some parent places to visit:
A Single Parents
Parent Arium
Solo Parents
Single Parent Personal Ads



Go Like Us On Facebook = facebook.com/SoloParent
Go Like Us On Facebook = facebook.com/SingleParentsInformation
Powered by vbulletin

All forums, topics and discussions are geared to single parents and the issues faced with single parenting.
Support a single parent today and one will support you back!

A Community for single parents, step parents and blended families

Disclaimer Under Section 107 of the Copyright Act 1976, allowance is made for "fair use" for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research. Fair use is a use permitted by copyright statute that might otherwise be infringing. Non-profit, educational or personal use tips the balance in favor of fair use.