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Old 01-02-2008, 07:09 PM   #1
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I'm not sure if I qualify as a single parent at this point, but I feel lonely and abandoned enough to justify being on this site right now... maybe some of you can shed some insights. I'm about three months pregnant (Not sure on this as I haven't been to a doctor) and 20 years old. The father is a guy I started seeing about seven months ago, and, being unsure of the relationship, I cheated on him in the first two weeks as an excuse to break things off. After I broke up with him I kept thinking about him and missing him, but I was afraid to pursue anything because he was so different from other guys I had known and wouldn't put up with my partying and constant trips out with my guy friends. I wasn't sure at first if I wanted to completely give these things up, but I finally realized I needed to see where things went with him, so we started seeing each other again. After about a month we were living together and things were wonderful. I started to put aside my old ways: I quit smoking, quit drinking, even quit hanging out with old friends because they made him uncomfortable. After we had been together for about three months, we found out we were pregnant and we both grew to really like the idea and look forward to having this little surprise together. Things were going great until he found pictures of when I had cheated on him early on. He understandably flipped out and constantly questioned me on everything I had ever done in the past six months. He wanted to know exactly who I had hung out with early on, where I had been every night I wasn't with him, and wouldn't stop questioning me on even the most distant and irrelevant events of my life. I was as patient as I could because I understood he was hurt and wanted so badly to make things work, but it was like the more I told him the more he hated me, even though I only ever cheated on him that one time early on in the relationship. He tried to live with me for a month after this all came out, but he couldn't forget it and finally admitted that he saw, "no chance of us getting back together." I'm so hurt now because I love and miss him so much and a part of me knows that I'm responsible for all this and don't deserve to be angry or sorry for myself. But on the other hand, I think about all the changes I've made in my life so we could be together and simply can't fathom how he could love me so little that he can't forgive something that happened in the first TWO WEEKS of our relationship. I'm not trying to justify what I've done, but I feel so alone. It's not like he wants to walk out on the baby's life or anything, but he walked out on me and that's almost worse sometimes. It just hurts to know that I'll have to see him for the rest of this child's life and know that he threw me away like nothing.
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Old 01-02-2008, 09:27 PM   #2
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First of all, welcome to the site!! Give your situation with him time. He may just be angry right now.
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Old 01-02-2008, 10:22 PM   #3
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I totally understand what you are going through. I was with my boyfriend for 2 yrs, we lived together, did everything together. But i was not the best girlfriend to him and took him for granted, and was really mean to him. I decided to break our lease so that we could go our seperate ways. Then I found out I was pregnant with his child. Of course he wants very little to do with me cuz of how i treated him, but he has been working extra to save up for when our baby comes and I can take time off work to be our baby as long as possible. Ive asked him to forgive me and to lets try to work it out for the child. He says no. What else can I do? It was my fault anyway. But im thankful he wants to be in the child's life, and you have to remember that as well if your ex doesnt want to get back with you. Believe me I know it hurts like hect. Extremely lonely. And I have very little family support. Keep praying that everything will work out and just give it all to God.
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Old 01-03-2008, 12:16 AM   #4
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Don't be surprised that he asks for paternity tests if he doesn't trust you.

Sounds like there is alot of growing up to do in the relationship department where trust is concerned on both sides. Let it settle for the time being.

In the meantime focus on you. Good for you that you changed your ways in regards to your addictions. During difficult times you may want to consider seeking some support to deal with all of this. It is important that you have a good perspective on where you and baby are heading. It is important so that your delivery goes as smoothly as possible. So try not to harbor too much anger and resentment at this time. Really focus on that baby.
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